Every once in a while I come across a real gem on someone else’s blog that I fall in love with. Yesterday I somehow wandered onto a blog called Diapers & Daisies to a post written back in May called 28 Rules for Fathers of Sons. And while there are a couple things I’d maybe add to some of these, I couldn’t help but think her post was fantastic.
It did well, but I think it deserves a lot more love, and Sarah (who I’m quickly learning is a mom blogger worth following) was kind enough to let me share her post with all of you. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! And when you’re done, be sure to go check her blog out.
28 Rules for Fathers of Sons
1. Love his Mother. He will learn to love like you love, and hate like you hate. So choose love for both of you. Devote yourself to it. Love with your whole heart and express that love each and every day. Then, someday down the road, you will see the way he loves his own wife, and know that you played a part in that.
2. Let him drive. Every child remembers the first time they drove on daddy’s lap. For that one moment, he will believe that he is just. like. you.
3. Teach him to be picky. Especially when it comes to women and burgers. Teach him to never settle.
4. Take him to a ball game. There is something about sharing a day of hot dogs, sunshine and baseball with your father.
5. Love with Bravery. Boys have this preconceived notion that they have to be tough. When he is young, he will express his love fully and innocently. As he grows, he will hide his feelings and wipe off kisses. Teach him to be a man who rubs them in instead. It takes courage for a man to show love: teach him to be courageous.
6. Talk about sex. Sometimes, boys need to know that all men are created equal.
7. Teach him to be a man’s man. Show him how to be brave and tough around the guys. Then, remind him on the ride home that it is okay to cry.
8. Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let him tell you about girls, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. He is not only your son, you are not only his father. Be his friend too.
10. Teach him when to stand-up and when to walk away. He should know that he doesn’t have to throw punches to prove he is right. He may not always be right. Make sure he knows how to demand respect- he is worthy of it. It does not mean he has to fight back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence.
11. Teach him to choose his battles. Make sure he knows which battles are worth fighting- like for family or his favorite baseball team. Remind him that people can be mean and nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help him to understand when to shut his mouth and walk-away. Teach him to be the bigger better person.
12. Let him dance in tighty whiteys. Dance alongside him in yours. Teach him that there are moments when it is okay to be absolutely ridiculous.
I don't really appreciate the first "rule". That the father needs to love the mother. What if he doesn't? Can he not be a good father if he and the mother are not together? This is not an uncommon situation now. Sometimes it is better that the father and mother aren't together so that the child doesn't grow up in a bad environment. Maybe this rule should be to love the one he's with (if he is with anyone at all!) and show respect to the mother.
@Fraley07 Even if the parents are not together, loving his mother means showing respect for her at all times. If she is a horrible being, the child does not have to hear it from his father. Believe me, as children we love both our parents and believe it all is love, but if our parents shows us a different side of the other parent then we would feel confuse. I know because I come from a divorced family, however, my mother not once disacredited my father to my sister and I. Once we grew older we realized how bad a husband he had been but he was the greates father of all time and that is only because my mother tolds us so and we believed her, we still believe her. Isn't it better to not say something at all if you can't say something nice?
@Fraley07 Then if you can't love her, at least respect her in front of your son. She is his mother, she gave birth to him and chose you to have a baby with. Shouldn't that at least be worthy of some decency? Your child will treat women the way you treat his mom.
Respest women? How about Respect people who respect you man or woman. Limit time and dealings with people of poor moral value.
Not all people females included respect you. Know those that fit into that category
The links to the original blogger's page and facebook are broken. Here is her new website: http://sarahdriscoll.com/blog
The title says "28 rules" but I only see 12 and some weird nonsensical thing that says "flip to page". This isn't a physical book so there is no need for turning pages. The only reason I can think for making a separate page with the remainder of the content is to maximize ad revenue at the expense of readability and convenience.
Yes, you do have the right to get ad revenue, but when your content strategy is so inconvenient and outdated it drives even more people to use AdBlock and other tools.
Really? I see a simple page one and page to link under the 12th one to go to the next page. It's not about revenue it's about not having to scroll forever on one page.
A few important ones were left out. Teach him about GOD and the power of prayer. Teach him about respecting women, Teach him about helping those that have less than you, and respect for his elders. Teach him about responsibility and the rewards of hard word and teach him about respect for the law. Teach him to question things and if he believes strong enough to fight for his believes
@BothaAbe I do like this but I think the God one is left out because it does not apply to everyone, some people don't believe and others believe in a different god. But to the rest yes i think they should be included.
I am not disagree with the fact that these are things that need to be taught, but some of what you mentioned are included in the article... #1,3,15, & 24 all include things related to respecting women/family. #8 speaks of open communication about any & all topics. #10 & 11 are about standing up for things they believe in. Although worded differently, some of these things are included in this list. Everyone words things differently & I can see how it could be taken several different ways...
yes I do agree with all except #26, no big belly my sons don't like it
and one day, just like Bert from Texas, I want to look back and say yes THANK GOD for his awesome gift. I don't want to be like my Dad, I am trying to be different
I agree with every one of these, except for #26. Growing a big belly means you aren't taking good care of your health, which means you are stealing your future with your son and possibly his son. I would recommend changing it to Grow strong shoulders cause he might need them to lean on someday and if your shoulder are strong it shows you took care of yourself and intend to be there for the long haul.
As I read Sky's comment I had to comment on what he said and about this piece A Single Dad Laughing. This was sent to me by my Son. A son that I raised as single Dad. His email simply said "This is me and you" I was staggered after I read it. My reply was just "Son it was my pleasure". I have always believed that the greatest comment as father that I received from him was what he said the last night before he left for the Navy, I was so sad and afraid for him. He stopped me as we left the house and hugged me said "Dad I am ready and full of the love you gave me all of my life you made me what I am today. I have never forgot that moment. He is now married and both he and his wife serve in the Navy. At that moment I looked back on the path we traveled as Father and Son and thanked God for his guidance and I have never doubted the words he told me then. When I received this from him I thanked God that I had that relationship when he was a boy. I was amazed how so much of our lives together mimicked this blog and left us with a stronger father and son relationship than we ever had together. We talk often discussing many of the same things, the love for his wife, family, living a good life surrounded by good friends that want let you down and that he knows I will be here to catch him if he needs me. Only a Dad knows that love!
Bert From Texas
This is a good read and good info but this is written by a woman and what she thinks a good father should be to a son. This should be written. By a good father that has actual experience in the subject not just what she observes.
Most of these are great; I would not advocate #26 and strongly disagree with #22. Your kids should learn that you are human and that you trust them enough to admit it. These are great times to learn together and teachthem the right way to get answers.
I want to thank you for posting this. I am working on "Round 2". I have a 22 yr old son that I raised from 8 yrs old, now I have a 5 yr old. Many of the things listed I did and currently do. But I learned a few new ones. Thank you again.
I just had to get along by my stupid self because there was no all knowing mom around for my 3 boys. She had better places to be. Here is another thought. Teach your daughters how to deserve that special treatment you all think women just automatically deserve. Teach them not to be little bitches and teases. Respect is earned not just given
@Awww poor you You can't be that ignorant. I taught my children to respect everyone. Something your parents should have taught you. If you are stupid enough to believe women should sit on their asses and wait for the REAL MAN that's your problem I taught my children about the REAL WORLD
REAL WORLD? This world where you whine and cry about the love of your life leaving you on the internet? Real men dont want pity for raising kids on their own. Real men get over that shit cause we're strong. Welcome to life....Looks like your dad should of read this shit.
@Annoyed Father of 3 Wow, you have a real problem. Maybe you should stop looking at the people who are leaving you and start looking at yourself for the issues.
You say you taught your children to respect everyone, but the first thing you said disrespected others, then you went even further and disrespected a person point blank.
I find it incredibly hard to believe that you raised 3 productive children. If they are productive, it had nothing to do with you.
@Awww poor you You are a real piece of shit. No one is complaining about raising their kids except for your parents and the lousy job they did raising you. Here's an idea since you are only on here to piss people off with your stupidity, go piss someone else off because I'm done with your sorry ass. Just because your parents were suck ass people don't take it out on everyone else. Do what you crazy fuckers do and just shoot them.
I love this. So powerful. Can you find some rules about mother and daughters. I would love to read that too
I would love to see a blog by a father telling women how to be a good mother and watch as he was lambasted as a misogynist.
@ChinOfSamAx wait a second here..."you would love to see some kind of blog written by fathers"? "telling women how to be a good mother"? (okay even more lost) lol..."AND, "watch as he was lambasted as a misogynist" ok, doesn't make much sense, makes some because I can guess what your at least trying to say.
@AaronCEllis Teach your boy to be a man who breaks hearts? No. We have enough of those assholes....
@BrandyJuhl They go great with the selfish little bitches that are now being raised.
@erikaonthecoast My kids are in their 30's and quite fine thank you very much. Of course I have a serious chip on my shoulder since I don't agree with you. I'm sure everyone knows you are always right.
@Awww poor you You teach your children. That is if you even have children. Don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong you only come on these places to piss people off. Get over yourself and grow up. Just because your parents never taught you any better is no reason to jump on other people
That made me tear up a little. I like to think I'm enough for my son..but, a boy needs a dad to know how to be a man. I can only tell him what I think a man should be...I've done good enough as both, but would he agree? I dunno.
Generally good ideas, although I do disagree with some of it. I strongly disagree with point 22. Leading your children to believe you are an all knowing super human is wrong. You don't know all the answers in life and that's ok. Teach your children how to find answers to their own questions when you don't have them.
(Grow a big belly... Really. That's a sign of a good father?)
@PatrickAndersen I think that is just some dude trying to justify "fat" as being OK, when it most certainly is not! Grow a 6 pack Bro!...hahaha
@ShawnMichaelAbrams Not all people are physically able how about you growing some human respect?
Figurative language - look it up. Big belly = Safety net