Dreams. I’ve had a lot of weird ones. Some that were absolutely insane. Some that were seriously disturbing. Like the time I dreamed that my hands turned into dolphin fins, and I was kidnapped by Buddhist monks who instructed me that my new life calling was to slap people that didn’t take Top Ramen seriously enough.

And that got me to thinking… would it be as funny or weird to hear about other people’s “craziest dreams?” So, I asked you on Facebook to share your craziest dream in 40 words or less. These are the second half of your hilarious, weird, and somewhat disturbing replies. If you missed the first post (which was equally as awesome), be sure to visit that one, too!

  • My daughter’s sitter was holding my 19 month old up as if in sacrifice, and then my daughter was incinerated before my eyes.
  • I dreamt I was in India on a mission and there was a female mule whose testicles were huge coconuts that stuck out behind her.
  • Trapped in old hospital full of blind zombies. The only way they could find you is by smell, so i had to hide in a pile of dead people in order to survive the night.
  • Running naked against traffic on the s-curve, at rush hour, holding hands with Gilda Radner and laughing like schoolgirls as we leapt off the edge…
  • Batman vs the San Francisco Giants. Yup.
  • After the apocalypse I was left alone on Earth in a deserted carnival with tumbleweeds and corn-dog wrappers.
  • I killed a guy with a sandwich, on the beach.
  • I dreamt that my family all turned into “good zombies” and we ate batteries instead of people.
  • Blood sucking robots that were terrified of water. If you stopped drinking, you died. I lured the robots to water and blasted them with high end explosives. I was one of a few left alive.
  • I was sleeping next to my husband and suddenly gave birth to a 6″ high baby cow. It ran and hid under our bed.
  • I dreamt my hubby cheated on me with an attorney in the firm that I worked at as a secretary. It was so real to me, it took me half of the day to quit feeling pissed off.
  • That I was still married to my ex wife….oh wait you said dream, not nightmare….
  • I dreamed my husband left me for a man.
  • I once dreamed I gave birth to a puppy.
  • I dreamt that I was eaten by a giant baby.
  • I dreamed that I was breastfeeding kittens!
  • I was at Jesus’s crucifixion… with Aladdin and Abu.
  • I dreamed there was a talking golden retriever that became possessed by demons after eating some old crackers in the woods.

It gets even better on Page 2

1
2
SHARE
Previous articleNow That’s Good Toilet Reading
Next articleQuotes that Touch Me: Love & Hate
Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!