Where’s Buddha?
I haven’t really mentioned him on this blog in months. I find it humorously odd that not a single person has written and asked me what happened to him, wondered if we still have him, etc.
I mean, people notice such smaller things like when women I’ve mentioned once are never mentioned again or when I contradict something silly I’ve written in a previous post.
But a missing family member? Apparently not as noticeable.
Well, Buddha is gone.
And I didn’t tell anyone. I think a lot of my family doesn’t even know.
Why? I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t want the flack.
I didn’t want all the animal lovers to tell me what a horrible schmuck I am.
I didn’t want to be judged. Again. After all, There were a couple dogs before Buddha just in the couple of years since I started this blog.
But, I can’t avoid it forever.
Well, I guess I could. But someday Noah and I will get another pet and people will be like… what the heck?
So, what did happen to Buddha?
Remember that horrible situation in Las Vegas that almost killed me? The one where my throat closed off? The one where I was in the ER because I could barely breathe?
Yeah, well as it turned out, it was a severe allergic reaction to Buddha that developed out of nowhere.
Yes, I know. Go ahead and yell at me. I could have paid for allergy shots and taken medication for the rest of my life to keep him. I could have done expensive and selfless things to manage it. Millions of people do.
But… I didn’t want to.
My doctor told me it was probably safest to not have a dog for some time while my body readjusts to everything.
And I took the opportunity to find Buddha a new home. A good home. With a middle-school boy who I could tell really needed a faithful friend and companion.
You see, having a dog just doesn’t work for me as a single dad and blogger. I unfortunately have had to learn that the hard way. I have to travel way more than I ever thought I would. Sometimes once or twice a month I’m gone for several days at a time. And the time and money it takes to board a dog that big that often is substantial.
But I’m really not making excuses. Because I don’t have to.
I was an extremely responsible pet owner when he was with us, and I was extremely responsible in finding an incredible home for our boy. I made a decision based on many factors of what was best for my family, and I followed through with that decision.
What irks me is that I really have avoided talking about it the same way I’d avoid bear-hugging a leper. Which is completely.
And for no reason other than that the wrath of animal lover extremists is inevitable. I know because when B.B. Shawshanked it, I was verbally skewered for days. When Dozer had to go back to the shelter because he was too dangerous and attempted to bite a child , I received dozens of emails telling me what a horrible example of a human being I was.
Ugh. This is one of the only things I hate about blogging. I feel like you and me, we’re all a family to some degree. I feel like I should be able to tell you openly and honestly what’s going on about anything. I feel like I should be able to talk about how hard it has been for us, how much we miss him, and how much we actually do wish things didn’t have to happen the way they did. I feel like I should be able to tell you that we’re probably getting Noah a Chinchilla after we move. I feel like I should be able to do a lot of things.
But I can’t. Not really. Not without fear. Backlash on hot topics is part of the gig and extremists don’t care about a person’s very real reasons or a person’s very real feelings in it all. There is only one right way and it’s their way.
Oh well.
Haha. Can you tell I’m overly sensitive about this?
Buddha, we miss you Buddy. I hope you’re taking care of your new family as much as you took care of us.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
I'm sorry for your loss ... do you have visitation rights?
You would have resented having to go to such extremes to keep your dog, making his life and yours both horrible. You made the right choice.
Don't listen to what the negative people say, you did the right thing for you, your family, AND Buddha!
As a professional pet groomer, someone who loves dogs and is so passionate about them I've made working with them a career, I can tell you that sometimes, for very legitimate reasons, it just doesn't work out to keep a dog in the family. You did a very responsible thing finding a good home. Even returning a dog to the shelter is a responsible thing, a shelter or rescue is FAR more capable of dealing with a dog with behavior issues and finding it a home able to handle those issues than you ever would of. That is what rescues and shelters are for, they want you to return the dog to them if it doesn't work out. Its part of the contract you signed with them, and i'm sure you signed one. Extremists don't care about other people's feeling and to be honest they rarely care about the actual animal, they just care about what they think is right and wrong.
Why are you defensive? Having a severe anaphylactic reaction is very dangerous and you have to be there for Noah. You found him a home. That's it. xo
That's so sad, Dan. And all those people who judge you unfairly should just keep their opinions to themselves. There are breeds of dogs that are considered hypo-allergenic, and that might work for you when the time comes. But get checked by an allergy specialist first. My husband is allergic to dogs, and the specialist he saw said it's more about the skin and saliva than the hair.
My own life experience would have me suggest that you skip the chinchilla Dan. Over the past few years I cared for two aging cats and a dog, all who passed over at their own times. My kids were BEGGING for a dog and I felt guilty because I knew we did not have the time or money to properly take care of another mammal. In the end I broke down and bought my daughter a lizard, thinking it would some how be an easier animal to care for...
BUZZHONK <------ weird buzzer sound from game show indicating you are WRONG.
Even though I did my research ahead of time and thought "I can handle this." I have come to the conclusion that lizards are hard to take care of. As are gerbils, hamsters, guinea pigs and other small pet creatures who still need back up care when family is away, cost a fortune in food, require endless supplies including special lights, balls, litter/bedding, special food, etc. Maybe not the same work as a dog but hugely challenging on top of an already busy schedule for sure.
Sorry about having to say good bye to Buddha though.
awwww, im so sorry, but you did the right thing....i was contemplating having to give away both my cats and my dog (not for health reasons) but for the reason that I have chosen to relocate and they dont really fit in to where I will be going....I decided I would find a place that would accept the four of us....but its difficult seeing as I am staying with my mom at the moment who is retired and doesnt like all the "company" so to speak and she is the one who forced this decision on me....I finally told her flat out I am not getting rid of them but I would find another place ASAP that will accommodate us
Its one thing to give a dog back to a shelter. That breaks my heart. Watching a dogs excitement to have a home and then it is taken from him again, and right back to where he started. But to find another home, where you know he will be loved, was great of you. Im sure he loves his new home. His new buddy. And he isnt sitting in some cage hoping someone comes to love him. Good for you, and you have no reason to feel bad. It sucks being allergic to doggies!
Well, I have to say that I totally noticed. But I'm not a contact you to ask kind of girl. ha! I don't think you should even need to feel like it isn't something you can talk about... jeezzzeeee does our society make people feel GUILTY or what?! Hey, at least you didn't know what other avoiders do... chain the dog up outside and leave him there. Thanks for taking the time to find a new home for him. He deserves it.
Ha...I was catching up on your posts the other day and thought "I wonder what's up with Buddah. He hasn't said anything in a while." But the picture of him was still on the page so I didn't think too much of it. Then I saw this post. I'm sorry that you had to give up your buddy. I've had to give up a pet before and it stinks. Sometimes life just doesn't permit us to be good pet parents and then the best thing we can do is to find good homes for them with others who will give them a good life. I hope someday you'll be able to figure out the allergy thing so you can have another dog :) they rock.
I'm so sorry you had to get rid of Buddha. I never even noticed that you hadn't mentioned him, just because I know lots of people with pets that don't talk about them anyway. I'm glad Buddha went to a good home, and I hope someday you guys can get a pet you're not allergic to. Hugs!
Dan, you had truly valid reasons that you NEEDED to rehome Buddha for his own sake as well as yours. Not only because of the allergy issue, but also because you did not have the right lifestyle to give Buddha the attention he needs. God bless you for finding him a wonderful forever home!
I have an allergy to my cat I think. The worst I get though, is itchy eyes. So I take a Benadryl. But you had to do what you had to do.
I'm an animal lover and can't imagine giving up one of my animals. It's hard but at least you made the effort to find him a good home with a loving new playmate instead of dropping him off at a shelter or worse abandoning him to the streets like so many people do. Wishing you good health and Buddha a great new life.
My wife's an animal lover as well. One of our constant gripes is the group of people who love animals to the extent of literally hating humans. That's never a good way to go. We're in a similar situation, albeit MUCH less dangerous, with a new dog who's in danger of causing us to lose our lease due to constant whining whenever we're gone. Massive separation anxiety, which I understand is normal in dachsunds and other small breeds like ours. But it's still 'What's best for us? The dog? our roommates and lease?'... Sometimes doing your best by an animal means finding them a home that suits better than your own does. It doesn't mean you love them less, and in fact often means you love them more, to go the harder path for them. You sir, have won at life. You've learned something that most people don't have the guts to realize or follow up. I tip my hat to you.
I forgot that I was going to comment on this! My goodness hun, I work at a vet clinic and I, hands down, think you made the right choice. I'll admit that I do hear of cases of people giving their pets up that I don't agree with and get upset at, but yours is certainly not one of them. Your health absolutely had to take priority here - it's not even a question. Lots of love to you, Noah, and Buddha in his new home!
If Buddha's still alive and happy, good for you for doing what you did. :)
Wow Rob... If you don't like the guy, then why did you "like" his page? Or read his blog? He almost died due to his allergies. As a parent facing the choice of keeping the dog and being sick or possibly dying, or finding him a good home so you can be around to take care of your child, what would you have done? I have 4 pets, (all rescues) and 2 children, planning on having more. If one of my kids developed such severe allergies, you can bet that I would put my kids first. Dan did the right thing by finding him a loving home! You're not just being harsh, you're being spiteful and hurtful. Don't you think he feels bad enough having to part with a member of his family who he clearly loved? On top of that, he has to deal with you saying hurtful things about something you obviously don't understand fully. Dan, thank you for doing so much to find your dog a loving home. You did the best thing you could for you, your son and your dog in a hard and sad situation. You are clearly a loving father and a kind-hearted person, so please don't listen to what hurtful people say.
I was just wondering the other day why we hadn't heard anything about Buddha lately. Glad you found a good place for him since you couldn't keep him anymore!
I respect your decision with the dog. you did the right thing. That being said. please do a LOT of research before purchasing a chinchilla. You wanna talk about wicked allergy problems? They bathe in dust and their hair is so fine we went thru several vacuum cleaners in a couple years. My husband and I both developed severe allergies after owning two of the most adorable chins on the face of the planet (Dusty and Buster) we had to turn them over to a reputable chin rescue house 7 hours away in Atlanta. They can be very sweet and loving animals, but like dogs they all have different personalities. Best of luck to you and Noah in choosing the perfect pet :)
I know you did the right thing - let the judgements against you slide. Not important. I'm sure you miss Buddha. I had to have my cat Cleopatra put down a couple years ago and I miss her so much. I'm on your side for sure:)
I wouldn't judge you, you did the right thing. Look, people are going to judge you or say things about you no matter what you do. As long as YOU feel good about the decisions you make in your life, that's all that matters.
I wouldn't judge you, you did the right thing. Look, people are going to judge you or say things about you no matter what you do. As long as YOU feel good about the decisions you make in your life, that's all that matters.
Nah, I'm kind of a jerk and even I think you did the right thing finding a good home for Buddha.
It would break my heart to part with a pet, but we were prepared to do so if our son was allergic. Luckly, he isnt :) So, i continue to use my chocolate lab for a pillow when i watch a movie. I can't help it! Is is so fuzzy! (he never lost his puppy fur, i swear!)
As an animal lover and supporter of PETA (most of the time), I commend you for deciding to find Buddha a good, happy new forever family. Given your circumstances, it was the best thing to do for your family and the kindest thing to do for Buddha. The other option for Buddha (keeping her) would have meant living with a human who couldn't really stay emotionally connected for fear of what would happen. A dog needs to be loved completely and without reservation. You did the right thing allowing him to move on and connect with another family and move on to the next stage in his life. And for all the animal lovers who condemn you, I would remind them that many humans decide to put their pets to sleep when allergies surface. Don't condemn the people who are doing the right thing. Save your energy to try and educate the ones who want put their pets to sleep - or worse abandon them!
(And I did miss Buddha, but I was afraid something had happened and you just weren't ready to write about losing him. I am relieved.)
Aww :( That sucks that Buddha is gone, but your health comes first. I assumed he was just hanging low. While the doctors play around with the right amount of whatever allergy drugs you need, you are spending money that could be better put to use. I hope Buddha is happy where he is and that you are at peace with him being gone.
Oh, and how in the heck is it your fault that BB pulled a jail break? I never understood that.
Dan, thie was the right thing to do for you and your family. Obviously, you already know that. You are a wonderful person who, unfortunately, cares WAY TOO MUCH about what the rest of us think of you. Just as an FYI to keep in the back of your mind during those times of worry, most of us subscribers think you are awesome, so relax and keep doing what you're doing!
I just wanted to say...you did the right thing. Allergies can, and often do, pop up when you aren't expecting them. Buddha deserves a home where no one has to worry about having a life-threatening allergic reaction to him. I just don't understand why anyone could criticize you for doing your due diligence. So many people just dump their pets by the road, or leave them in a shelter. You made sure Buddha is in a good home, with a kid who needs him. I don't see how anyone could interpret what you did as bad.
I totally understand your paranoia, Dan, but thanks for overcoming it for this moment and writing about it. Extremists don't provide a healthy discourse on important topics, and we should all keep our passions in check lest we be too forceful with our opinions.
Dan;
I am a animal loving extremist...I wish more people would make the selfless decision to give up their pet(s) as you did. It was not a good situation for you, Noah or Buddha. There comes a time when as a the stewards of our pets we should make those "tough" decisions. Whether it's finding a new home or following the vet's recommendation to end their suffering, it's never an easy decision for those of us who love them.
The fact that you've all ready judged yourself harshly and avoided posting about it, tells me that you cared for Buddha and the decision was hard for you (even though you'll probably act like a hard-a$$ and say it wasn't). So, thank you for being responsible and finding Buddha a good home with a loving family.
Hey, you do what you gotta do. Sniffles are one thing...nearly anaphylactic shock is another!
Hey, you do what you gotta do. Sniffles are one thing...nearly anaphylactic shock is another!
:))) you are paranoid, yeah, you are blogger indeed, and I guess we love it, well I do :) cheers!
Dude... You didn't take him to the pound to be destroyed because you decided he was just too much trouble. I think you did it the right way. Sorry you developed such a crappy allergy though! Seriously sucky.
some people just like to judge....hate is so easy and slick. no is the easiest word to say. humans are cruel and backstabbing. I like your blogs because they are real. please continue to write them
I'm an animal lover, but would never consider myself an extremist or cast judgement....I applaud you for being responsible for your health and Buddha's well being, in finding him a new home. He sounds like an awesome dog, and you sound like an awesome person.
I'm a bully owner/lover. Sounds like you did the right/responsible thing to me! Life as a single parent is tough...traveling and severe allergies on top of it? ACK!
:)
That's got to be insanely tough for you. What you did was an act of loving kindness: I can't imagine how difficult it was for you, but good for you for finding a good home for Buddha.
Maybe it's time for those judgmental folks to revisit your "I'm Christian ... " blog and re-think if being judgmental is the way they want to live. You're you ... I'm me ... we're both perfectly ok!
Hi Noah, Ive never commented on your blogs but I had to this time. CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK okay that's off my chest. You had a dog, you developed an allergy, you found him a loving new home. Good for you. No wrongdoing here. You handled it with commonsense and kindness. Let Noah have a pet at mom's (ask her first).
I'm an animal lover but I think you made the right choice for yourself and Buddha!! I'm sure you will miss each other but you will both be relieved of significant stress! I'm so glad you found him a good home!
Well I certainly am the nicest person on earth! (except when I am sarcastic and mean)
of course we are!
Seems to me you were a respondsible pet owner for finding Budda a new family. Sometimes being respondsible means doing things one doesn't want to do. Like finding a pet a new home, or realizing your beloved companion of 13 years is in pain and the respondsible thing is to give the poor animal peace. Life is full of choices, we make good ones and bad ones. In your heart you know this one was a good one, no matter how crappy it feels.
As a responsible pet owner, who deterimened that caring for your dog was beyond your current abilties, you did the responsible thing and found him another home, one that was able to give hime the care and love he deserved. You didn't drop him at a shelter; you didn't abandon him somewhere. Being responsible doesn't mean putting anyone's health or happiness in jeopardy (you, your son, your pet)... you did the right thing.
2 years ago we had to put our beautiful 3 1/2 year old English Springer Spaniel down after he bit our son. We had slowly been noticing changes in our dog for about two months; lilting to one side when he walked, walking into walls, growling at the floor, himself...an nothing it all. Random and sporadic things. His complete temperament changed almost overnight and then one night he walked by my son, who was sitting at the kitchen table, and bit him - putting a 1 inch hole in his hand. We took him to the vet who ran a bunch of tests and determined he was having either small strokes or seizures. She said she could do more tests, and if it was seizures we could try medication but there was no way to guarantee it would help at all or, more importantly, that he wouldn't bite again. It was the hardest decision we have ever made but their was no way could risk him attacking someone else - especially a child. We consulted with two different vets and spent a week crying (ok...SOBBING) over what we already knew what we had to do. Our son went with to the vet the day we put him down and hugged and petted him while we waited for the meds to take affect; telling him how much he loved him and that he forgave him for biting him. Then we buried him on a friend's farm with his favorite tennis ball and a tennis racquet as a 'headstone'. It was so difficult but we also learned a lot about death and grieving - it was a very humbling experience.
It sounds like you did the responsible thing for Buddha and for yourself. All we can ever do is our best. Also, bear-hugging a leper probably wouldn't harm you in any way. 95% of people are immune to it automatically and if you did get it, it's fairly inexpensive to cure here in America. :-) I learned this while in Ethiopia this summer.
Hi, I believe I did ask about Buddha in a previous comment. My Bully passed away late last year and if you've never owned a Bully you can't understand what a commitment it is to have one in your family. I'm glad you found a good home for Buddha unlike the people who had dumped our Tinkerbell. This would not have been my choice BUT it is your life and your choice and this animal lover is happy you found a good home for ole' Buddha.
Please, PLEASE consider the PET the next time you think of bringing a pet into your family. You were Buddha's family and I'm not trying to make you feel bad (and I understand allergies) but animals DO have feelings. If you can't be a forever family due to allergies or your present lifestyle... please stay pet free.
OH I wrote an update on my husband on your post here http://www.danoah.com/2010/11/small-side-of-numbers.html... I want to thank you for that post. You have no idea but you are a part of our family... you came into our lives at just the right time... so if you don't think you make a difference in people's life... please revisit your blog entry The small side of the numbers and my comment there. Thank you again.
@LindaMotes He made it clear he suddenly developed families. Unless you want to make psychic abilities a prerequisite to becoming a pet owner, of course, there is no way to prepare for that.
@LindaMotes Sometimes you don't know about allergies until they happen, and from what I've read, that's what happened with Dan. He didn't do this to affect Buddha in a negative way, and from reading his post, he's giving pet ownership a serious thought before bringing another animal into his home.