I’m just going to say it, even though it will incriminate me.
Old stink and new stink make the worst stink of all.
If a person is already grimy and gross and they do something that makes them more grimy and gross, the new smell isn’t just twice as bad. It’s exponentially worse.
I go to the gym most days, and I rarely go without showering first.
I shower first because I know that old stink and new stink make the worst stink of all.
But every once in a great while, I run out of time to shower, and I go the gym even though I’m disgusting. On those days, I
lie to tell myself that it’ll be all right. As soon as I get sweating, surely it will be the only stink that anyone can smell, and it’s a gym, so who cares about sweat stench.
I did that a couple weeks ago. I was meeting Mike for some heavy bench pressing.
The heavy part is important to the story.
You see, when we lift heavy weights on the bench press, we basically stick our crotches right in each other’s faces in order to spot each other. It’s the safe thing to do (you know, so the bar doesn’t fall on our necks and kill us).
Usually this is no big deal.
But this time I knew that I had some serious stink on stink going on. I knew because I could smell it. And if I can smell it with my almost nonexistent sense of smell from three feet up, I guarantee whoever has a face in my crotch can smell it too.
And I’m sorry, Mike.
Nobody wants a face full of stinky nethers.
And thanks for not saying anything that day. It helped me believe that it might not have been as bad as I thought.
I know it was, though.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. I’m honestly okay with nobody commenting today. In fact, I’m kind of okay with nobody reading this. It might be a little TMI.