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Once upon a time, not too long ago… These five friends set out on a hike to the Brighton Lakes.

Somehow, somewhere along the way, our group of five turned into a group of three.

But that really has no significance for this story except that I thought you’d want to see our three sexy bods.

Sorry. No.

This is really the story of this moose:

NOT this sexy guy.

This moose.

And how the two men in the picture above pissed off this moose to where she tried to murder them.

See, these two guys were idiots.

Big idiots. One had a big ol’ camera strapped to his neck and the other had a fancy camera strapped to his chest. And for some reason, they both felt that holding these things made them professional outdoorsy guys. Or something like that.

And they left the girl sitting on the rock.

And they crept around the lake, closer to the moose.

And closer.

And closer.

And twenty feet away wasn’t close enough for these idiots. They wanted unobstructed photos of this mama moose and her calf that she was hiding in the brush behind her.

So, they crept closer.

And the moose looked at them as if to say, “what the hell are you doing?”

And they crept closer.

And the moose got annoyed.

Continued on next page.



78 comments
AprilC
AprilC

Awesome photos. We've all done some really dumb things in our life that we have lived to tell about. Live and learn. Glad you lived to share the story and make us smile.

SarahM
SarahM

I like how your buddy booked it and just left you… haha

lovindmutts
lovindmutts

You HAD to go and piss off a moose.. a momma moose at that!.. you totally deserved to have the crap scared outa you!! bahahahahah!!!!

Dede Mills
Dede Mills

Laughing. It is the all of a sudden thing! Just wanted to get there because you could. Still laughing.

LyndaLewis
LyndaLewis

My son who was stationed in Alaska told me the best way to escape a charging moose was to keep a tree between you and the moose.  So staying behind the tree was a better option then running. My son who took EMT training said one of the most frequent EMT calls in Alaska was trampled by moose... Makes me stay far away from the moose when I am in Alaska despite my fancy camera. I have great moose photos though thanks to a nice telephoto lens I use for birding...

gypsyrae
gypsyrae like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

*shakes head*  Dan Dan Dan...  This is what telephoto lenses for ;)  

ToniE
ToniE

She looked really peeved! Or maybe she was trying to get a closer look at those hot bods. Lol

Cathleen Ward Blackett
Cathleen Ward Blackett

Forget the man tank...are you wearing flip flops on your feet??? Tell me they are the latest trend in uber hiking apparel please?

Dawn Schombs
Dawn Schombs

I'm so excited and envious you got that close. That would have been me! Lol I was so excited over the mamma moose and baby pics I got in Colorado until seeing these. :( great shots. Can't wait to go out and find more moose! I want male moose shots too. ;)

MattMcAffee
MattMcAffee

Good story... dummy.  ;-P

I once ran smack into the largest bull elk I've ever seen.  I seriously thought I was dead.  My Aunt just shared a story about her trip from Roanoke Rapids, Virginia to Prudhoe Bay, Alaska.  It involves her, a field, and a herd of Caribou.  Without warning, a momma Grizzly and her two cubs ran out of the brush 20 feet behind her.  She didn't even have time to flinch before the bear was barreling away.

Emily Rowinsky Keller
Emily Rowinsky Keller

Haha, I had to go back and read comments to look for clothing comments. Then I had to go look at the pics again to see what a strange man tank is! Lol tough business being a blogger it is...

Sandra Finch Lekan
Sandra Finch Lekan

I was at yellowstone a few years ago and I got out of car to take picture of moose as he was walking across field towards me. I was so in awe watching him that I wasnt paying attention how close he was getting to me. When he got really close it occurred to me that he could probably charge me and kill me!!! I ran back to car ASAP!!!

Sandi Wheeler
Sandi Wheeler

Only one thing I can say. Invest in a better zoom lens! :D

Lucy1
Lucy1

Maybe you should think about investing in a 100-400 mm lens.

albrektsond
albrektsond

Hahaha.......that's was hilarious! Reminds me of a time when I got too close to a snapping turtle and it about took off my fingers. that is when I learned not to point at anything. lol! 

Heather Shepherd
Heather Shepherd

Funniest story, lol. OMG still laughing. I would go hiking with you just to see what happens, lol. No clue what is wrong with what you are wearing. It is hiking folks not a catwalk. LMAO, still laughing.

iameverywhere
iameverywhere

You were charged by a moose?  I hope you didn't have to pay her too much.  Hahahahaha

Chris Lewis Little
Chris Lewis Little

Remind me to never go hiking with you. Also having grown up in Alaska. I would rather walk up on a bear than a moose and her calf. You are lucky she stopped and didn't stomp you to death. Don't ever go to AK, not sure you would survive.

Helenback
Helenback

New blog imminent . . . the Moose Whisperer! Bahahaha!

mizzie1980
mizzie1980 like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

I have officially decided you are not allowed to go on any more hikes.  No, I don't care, you've had your chance mister.  You'll just have to find some other form of exercise, because you are done hiking until you can do it without winding up in mortal danger.

stuffette
stuffette like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Thank god you didn't see a bear :P

Stacey Lynn
Stacey Lynn

Lmao!! Nice one. Did sort of the same thing once trying to get closer to a cute little bear cub. Didn't see mama bear (who was not so cute) until she stood up (omg!!!) from behind the bushes. They are a lot taller up close and personal! (and scary angry when you get too close to their cub I've learned) Looking back - I remember thinking 'is this bear ever gonna give up chasing me?' - and now, as a "Mama bear" myself - I get it totally. Your intentions may be harmless, but if I even THINK you are about to mess with my kids - watch out! :) That was still the coolest day ever though. (Even if I did lose my new sandal in the chase) LOL

Amy Ekelmann
Amy Ekelmann

We live in Alaska, it's a BAD idea to test a moose's boundaries. Glad you're safe.

AliciaSpring
AliciaSpring

LOL didnt your mom tell you to not disturb the moose...

Cher
Cher like.author.displayName 1 Like

I am going to tell Backwoods Mom on you.  Have you not been listening to her??  Stay away from the MOOSE.

Cristina
Cristina

Beautiful photos and lesson learned.

I've never seen a moose in real-life, but  after that close encounter I'd say you've seen enough moose for a few people  :) 

mwampole
mwampole

Hey, now you can add "Moose Whisperer" to your resumé... or maybe not! LOL

I don't know how you manage to get yourself into such predicaments, but it's sure fun to read about them later.

Just stay safe so you can write about them later, okay? :-)

Becky
Becky like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

This is hilarious because I, too, was once charged by a moose.  Because I was taking his picture.  I had JUST had a conversation with my father-in-law about how moose can kick their front legs forwards (their knees hinge forwards) so they stomp you to death.  And they love to chase dogs.  And dogs love to run to their owners.  So as I was standing there, taking pictures, with my dog having just run to me, the moose charged me and I screamed and turned to run, hoping to avoid its front kicking killer hooves.  And I promptly fell down.  I saw my life flash before me, but thankfully as I looked over my shoulder to see this imminent stomping, instead I saw the moose calmly chewing.  That warning was all I needed (Darwin Awards, anyone?).  The next time I saw moose I happily kept my distance.  Photos of far-off moose are a-ok with me (isn't that what zoom lenses are for?).  Thanks for making me feel less alone.  

mindlelindle
mindlelindle like.author.displayName 1 Like

All that and you still didn't get a clear shot of her baby!

I bet Kelsie would have from over on the rocks, though ...

Keep hiking, keep taking pictures, but most of all, keep whispering to the moose.

:)

Woobie21
Woobie21

I can understand you wanting to get a picture of mama and baby moose and all... but yeah, you weren't exactly using any active brain cells.  Your stories about your misadventures brought on by random acts of unthinking (I won't say "stupidity" because I don't believe you're a stupid man at all... you just lack the ability to think before acting, sometimes... hmmm... like someone else I know) *are* entertaining, but wow... you definitely need to think your actions through before one of the consequences of your actions kicks your butt all over creation and then some. :/  The world would be a much more uninteresting place without you in it.

swanodette71
swanodette71 like.author.displayName 1 Like

You should be grateful that you learned this lesson on a moose and not a grizzly bear....  LOL!  There wouldn't be enough of you left over for the helicopter to pick up and take out....

Carol Gruenebaum
Carol Gruenebaum

You never mess with a momma, animal or person! Silly Dan, you're a parent you should know that concept. Only you, and evidently your friend. Great pictures though, love the pictures. Be careful, we'd be very sad if you were no longer with us because one of your hiking adventures went too far gone.

CarolBall
CarolBall like.author.displayName 1 Like

Now I just don't know if hiking will be as exciting as reading about your hikes. Maybe I just need to go hiking with you, but I don't know if I could stand all the danger you manage to put yourself in, lol

Lisa-Marie Castro
Lisa-Marie Castro

I live in AK...most locals know to keep our distance, Especially with mommas and calves. That doesn't stop many from taking pics though...it's fine, but KEEP YOUR DISTANCE. We've had people die from moose attacks; it's no joke. I hope you learned your lesson.

clare :)
clare :) like.author.displayName 1 Like

I kind of feel like Indiana Jones' side kick when reading your hiking stories. So much action!!! 

sarah.naumcheff
sarah.naumcheff like.author.displayName 1 Like

I'm thinking she charged you because you are still wearing that strange man tank... ugh... >.<

Single Dad Laughing
Single Dad Laughing moderator

@sarah.naumcheff Dare I ask what a man tank is?

sarah.naumcheff
sarah.naumcheff like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

@Single Dad Laughing Your shirt! It's like a tank top for men. I don't know, I just have a thing against them, so I thought the moose might too.  And, correct me if I'm wrong, it's the same shirt you were wearing for the mountain top helicopter rescue..... It might now be your unlucky shirt LOL

Single Dad Laughing
Single Dad Laughing moderator

@sarah.naumcheff Haha. I'm a big fan of wearing what makes you comfortable when you're exercising. Those are my favorite shirts to hike in because the sweat evaporates super quickly out of them.

PHZ
PHZ like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

Awww, the obliviousness of men.  It's so endearing.   They only need to learn how to pay closer attention to the body language, expressions and warrning signs of women when they are being idiots.. moose and human alike.    It would save a lot of grunting,  stomping, charging and apology activity.   Of course, then we wouldn't have these funny stories either......

Kay
Kay like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

if you are going to continue this record, you should probably get health insurance...

Jenny Meadors
Jenny Meadors

"A moose once bit my sister. No really! She was carving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush..." Pretty disrespectful & not very intelligent. You totally deserved to be chased & have the crap scared out of you! Hope you learned your lesson - leave the wildlife ALONE! Especially when they're with their babies, weigh 600 lbs and have killer hooves! Dork ;-)

Radonda Dobbins
Radonda Dobbins

LMAO...my favorite is the very last shot. Momma is looking @ you like "ok, dumba$$, it's on" and the baby poked his head up as if to say "you shouldn't oughta done that...now momma is mad..and oooooh you're in BIG twouble!!". Of course the first thing that comes to mind is...maybe there is a REASON you are still single dad laughing...first rule of women: absolutely, never, ever mess with our babies!!! Seriously, it doesn't matter what species..if you mess with our kiddos, you are going to end up in a tree or cowering in a bush. Period. LOL

crystalone
crystalone like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

You said it yourself and you are right...you were IDIOTS...and very lucky to get off that easy!

Tuesday
Tuesday like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

This reminds me of that movie with the brothers who get themselves into messes trying to film wild animals. Its cute that you have that adventurous spirit but I would ask that from now on you ask yourself, "Would I allow Noah to do this?" you know, just when your hiking.

Single Dad Laughing
Single Dad Laughing moderator like.author.displayName 1 Like

@Tuesday Haha. That's not fair. He's a solid 210 lbs. lighter than me. ;) The real question is, would i allow a 240 lb. version of Noah to do this.

Okay, maybe not.