In 2003, my wife and I purchased a brand new townhome with all the trimmings. It was about 1250 square feet. I made six figures that year as an animal artist and soon we decided that our home was too small. In 2004 I jumped back into the business world and we built a brand-new home (a little more than twice the size). In 2006 we wanted something more, so we sold that home and bought an even nicer one in Alpine. It was one of the smaller houses in the area at just under 5000 square feet. It also appraised at well over half a million dollars. My monthly mortgage payment was $3800. I was 26 years old.
I more or less skipped college. For some reason, from a young age making money was easy for me. I found accomplishment almost everywhere I applied myself. I didn’t need college to make a good living.
My wife and I went on fantastic trips to different parts of the world. We had money to spend on all sorts of things. Gadgets. Décor. Furniture. Clothes. Cars.
And in the middle of it all, I became extremely entitled. I believed that the world owed me something because… well… I was awesome. What I didn’t know was that when you become entitled and you think you’re awesome, you always end up losing more than you’d ever imagine.
Sigh.
Believe me when I tell you that I lost a lot.
I wish I could go back in time, take that younger Dan Pearce by the shoulders, shake the hell out of him, and scream a few things to him about it all.
“Don’t worry about money now,” I’d tell him. “You’ll have your entire life to worry about money.”
He’d look at me like I was crazy. But that wouldn’t stop me.
“You will forever regret not going to school, no matter how successful you become. You’ve gotta believe me because right now you can’t see it.” I’m sure he’d snort at that. After all, he knew that he would never regret it. Not when he was making the kind of money he was. School was just a waste of time for him. “Please listen to me,” I’d continue. “School isn’t just about money. It’s about opportunity, options, and advantages in the future.”
At this point he’d probably tell me to get lost. The young Dan Pearce didn’t care much for anyone telling him he could do things better. After all. He was… awesome.
But how often do you get to go back in time and try to tell yourself important things? Not very often, so I’d keep going.
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It's hard because I love my life now. I love my husband and my boys. If I'd told myself to do something major differently, then I don't know if they would be here. It hurt and it sucked, but it's almost like the Lord knew I needed to go through it in order to bring about this blessing. It's not perfect, but I don't want it any other way.
I wouldn't. Not because bad things didn't happen but those things have changed me so much and I do not regret who I am today. I like who I am today and I don't know if I would've become that person without those things happening.
I would tell the younger me to say, "no" and walk away.
Wow, this is the EXACT conversation I had with my ex-husband on our third year anniversary. He didn't change and he didn't listen. The only thing different was the son part. I wish I had known about that part, because I think that is the part he regrets most of all too. I will never understand his need for the Bigger Better Deal. We didn't have the foundation we needed to survive the hard times. I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop trying to convince him and just leave, but then I wouldn't have two wonderful boys. I won't say I didn't enjoy the big house and all the stuff, because I did, but I'd trade it all for a happy marriage and happy children. Divorce is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through and so not worth the house that I lost and the things I don't own. My biggest regret that I wish I could go back and tell my younger self is don't be afraid to try! Fear is so poisonous!
"Be strong enough to break your own heart and walk away. "
I wish I had known that years ago.
I would hug her/me and tell it will be ok. Really.
Just because you love your job, doesn't mean it should become your identity.
Great blog post! The part about losing your son is exactly how I feel. Its something I dont think I will ever get over but has made me a better and stronger Mom. I fight to maintain that everyday. You always know what to write Dan!
Cut the rope now while the gettin is good! xD
Dont go there!
Dont go there!
Don't put my heart out for people who don't deserve it. Appreciate and keep close the ones who do.
I don't know if I would tell myself anything. Really it is what I have gone through and done that has made me who I am today!
Go to college after high school instead of waiting until you're 31 and have to pay fo it yourself. That acting thing won't work out, anyway.
Leave him at the first sign he doesn't love you. Don't fall for his lies just because you married him. Don't lose yourself trying to become someone you aren't, it will only cause much heartache and sadness trying to find yourself again, and you'll not truly find the person you thought you were. But as a result of enduring many years of fights, tears, heartache and abuse.. the person that emerges will be stronger than before and nowhere near the woman she once was. I often wished for a trip to the future to talk to myself and see what I was in for.. and now.. I wish I could go back to 20 yr old me and warn her to not do the things she did.
Marry that boy before he moves to CA
STAY in shape!! Because trying to get back into shape and good eating habits after letting yourself go is waaaay harder than you could ever imagine!! It will affect every part of your self -esteem!
Never burn bridges and that there's a reason for the saying, "it's a small world".
Problems will come and go. Don't waste time crying and stressing out about it. You will be ok.
I'd follow my head instead of my heart..
Buy Gold.
Date only people who share your beliefs. Never settle for less than what you deserve. Go straight to college. Man... This would have saved me so much bheartache.
spank your child in the grocery store. She's going to be a bigger handful when she's a teenager because you didn't! LOL
Dont waste your chances,just ask her out because she will get married soon!...oh,and cut that Procastination!!
Do not move across the country for a boy when you are 17. Trust that you're parents are right. And for goodness sake go to college!
Get your head in the game. The piddly stuff doesn't matter - what matters is doing whatever it takes to accomplish your goals. You're smart, but smart isn't much good without focus and follow-through.
Do NOT alter ur life for a guy. Love rarely works out the way u want it to.
Dont rush your childhood!! adulthood comes very quick, and you will have many many responsibilities.
I would say " Escape from the cult like religion you've been raised in, go to college become free independent thinker, study science and never look back"
I know you. I know your thoughts, your feelings, everything you've said and everything you've done. And you are absolutely amazing. I love you.
oh and "the sooner you learn to eat healthier the better you will be"
I would tell myself, "Keep up the good work! All of the choices you're making, both the good and the not-so-good, end up making you into who you were meant to be...and that is something magnificent!" :o)
Use birthcontrol, don't believe him he IS NOT the one for you, spend all the time you can with your neice and nephew...you will lose one of them way to soon. - I wouldn't say which because they both deserve so much love ;)
Kim is toxic... avoid at all costs...
That I was worth more than I settled for. That I didn't have to be perfect to be loved. And to not try to impress or fit in with anyone...if they liked me they would like me as I am.
I'd tell myself in high school " GOOD JOB, You did GREAT!! All the stupid things , all the struggling to fit in, wanting to date in H.S. isn't important . Your Husband now is wonderful and you have the cutest kids!! Just remember to take good care of your self and enjoy that husband and kids becasue the time FLIES!!" Also I'd tell myself after I was married ( at 20 and I don't regret it for a minute), Do NOT let your husband get that business degree, get him to see that he needs to go into special Ed teaching because that's where his heart is, where he belongs ,and where he will end up anyway.
I would HAVE listened to my mom. Finished school and NOT gotten married at 21!
Not to listen to your mother, you are smart enough to go to college for anything you want to do and not to be so shy with the guy you want. Because now you are with him and half way through the degree you always wanted.
It's okay to shake yourself. . . Ask God to help you and to give you more of his grace. . .
Don't take out that loan. He isn't going to help you pay it back like he promised to.
To my young and older teen self: Stop pretending to be attracted to men just because thats what people saY your supposed to do. Because several years from now you'll meet the woman of your dreams and you'll still be with her nearly 6 and 1/2 years later and be engaged :)
Too many things, but the theme is "Love yourself more than you love him". And "stay the course - you'll regret if you give up."
That Family and Friends' Support is So very important to you own successes and something you definitely NEED during your low times. No matter how strong you are, You NEED the support of family and friends to make your best decisions!!
Not to try and spite anyone coz it backfires on u, to never rush into anything, and to tell myself I do deserve loven respect,honesty etc!
"You amazed me and be you....improve(for peace of ur mind dont talk too loud even all u said is honest thing lol ) but never change!"
To judge a man by how he treats others, not by how he behaves with me. Would have saved me a lot of heartache.
Sell everything and invest in Microsoft.
To not waste so much time trying to make other people something they are not. ..like faithful. Ha.
Finish school.. and go to College get a good job...
Children should be stirred, not shaken.