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Dirk: Actually man, freaking chicks like that, they play this game all the time where they have to act like they don’t wanna get it the freak on with you. It’s like the cool freaking thing to do to act like they’re like these good little girls and crap. I was talking to this chick who told me they do it just to see if you’ll respect it.
Dirk: Actually this whole things makes perfect sense now. Dude, you blew it.
Gus: What the hell are you talking about.
Dirk: You blew it man. She was testing you. She freaking got pissed and took off to see if you’d chase her. Guaranteed man. And since you didn’t follow her you blew it. I’ll bet you anything that’s why she’s ignoring you. You didn’t chase her down.
Gus: I don’t think so man, she was pretty pissed.
Dirk: Girls don’t just get pissed for no reason man. Either you did something to really piss her off or she’s playing a game. Did you do anything to piss her off?
Gus: I don’t think so.
Dirk: Then she’s playing a game. Or she was playing a game. If you want a chance, you’ve gotta go tell her you were an idiot and that you should’ve chased her.
Gus: I don’t even know if I want her anymore. I’m kind of over it.
Dirk: Whatever dude. You don’t get a chance with a girl like Britney maybe once in your life man. You don’t freaking let that go man. You just gotta understand the game and play it. She’ll come back.
Gus: Maybe. I don’t know.
Dirk: And then when she comes back, you gotta play the game, bro. She’ll just take off again if you don’t.
Dirk: Yeah bro. If you can get her back, you gotta act like you don’t care man. You gotta be a douche. I told you that before I don’t know why you don’t listen.
Gus: I don’t even know how to be a douche man.
Dirk: It’s easy bro. You ignore her calls and only call her after she’s called you like five times or more. If she texts you, you don’t freaking text her back for like two or three hours. And then once in a while you send her a freaking text like it’s an accident and was supposed to be for another girl. It’ll drive her freaking crazy and she’ll be all over you desperate to get you to drop things with the other girls.
Gus: Sounds like your game man. I just want a girl who freaking likes me without any freaking games.
Dirk: Then you’re only going to get a desperate ugly chick man.
Gus: Come on man.
Dirk: Who are you talking to man? Have you ever seen me have trouble getting some?
Gus: Dude, I’m getting too hot. I think I’m done in here.
Dirk: Cool man, we’ll figure out your next move. Let’s go.
Then they took off. I don’t know if they even saw me sitting over on the other side of the steam room, and I was sad to see them go. Obviously Dirk had all the answers that I (or Gus) may never have.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
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