Seriously Traumatized by Food

We get a lot of ants where I live, and during the fall/winter months we can't leave any food out for even a minute or it gets attacked. But one day there was a can of soda sitting on my computer desk and I, without thinking, tossed it back to drink it down. I felt an odd buzzing on my lips, only to look down and realize the can was literally COVERED in ants- I'm talking 60 of the little demons, at least. I spit them out right on the desk... along with my mouth full of Coke. Still makes me nauseous to this day.

Uh, yeah. No. I'm pregnant. I tried to read this, but no. lol.

OMG!  Numbers 26 & 34 take the cake!  Gagging and laughing at the same time...  Holy crap, that's some nasty stuff!!

When I was a kid in second grade I would keep snacks in my desk, which I'd sneakily eat while doing my work (in defiance of classroom rules...but I was that kind of kid). It was also "cool" at that point to collect little pieces of colored chalk, so I had a bunch of that in my desk too. (Yeah, you see where this is going?)One afternoon I had a little bag of peanuts in my desk which I was popping into my mouth between math problems. I popped one into my mouth and bit down...but the texture was all wrong...sort of..chalky...and the taste...EWWWW!!I ran to the washroom (without asking permission, LOL) and rinsed my mouth out for a good five minutes. I think this cured me of the snacking during class habit.

On a road trip from Idaho to Iowa---with three small girls in tow---my sister and I stopped at an IHOP. I had a crispy chicken salad; a few bites in, it seemed off, so I stopped eating. Out in BFE Montana, food poisoning kicked in and I threw up for roughly 600 miles. When we finally stopped at a motel, I slept with my head on the cold tile floor, pressed up against the base of the toilet. It has been 9 years and I haven't eaten at an IHOP since.

Oh, the ant one... GAG.

I once bought a sealed bag of salad leaves, on opening the bag at dinner time a spider crawled out in my salad bowl... I live in Australia, spiders here are NOT generally friendly, and this was NOT a friendly spider, also I am not what you would call a fan of arachnids even if they are harmless. It makes my skin crawl and my stomach clench even thinking of that event. Needless to say we ordered dinner out that night and ate at the restaurant too.

I was seriously lacking in appetite, and now am ill at just the thought of food. Good post, Dan.

I was seriously lacking in appetite, and now am ill at just the thought of food. Good post, Dan.

I was seriously lacking in appetite, and now am ill at just the thought of food. Good post, Dan.

My favorite food trauma experience (thankfully) didn't happen to me! A friend was treated to a very nice goodbye dinner in Japan, after having spent 5-6 months with a host family. They took him to a nice restaurant, where live things were chopped up in front of them and fed to them immediately. He put the piece of octopus tentacle into his mouth the wrong way, and it stuck to the roof of his mouth for a *half-hour* while the tentacle died. True story... and I'm so glad that I went to France for study abroad instead. :)

I keep spontaneously remembering this post when I eat something. It's ruining all the naughty stuff I'm eating!!!

Happily eating cereal in the dim morning, and then step out on the balcony and look down to at least 3 tiny cockroaches doing the back stroke in my bowl.  Equally has horrifying as getting a sandwich with a roach on it at a restaurant.  People wonder why I had the things!

Sadly, so many come to mind. Biting into a sandwich from a deli that had half a toothpick in it and it getting lodged in the roof of my mouth. Have also had a bandaid in my burrito! (What's up with all the bandaids?) The worst though was probably picking up my can of coke to take a drink and didn't realize it was the wrong one...I picked up the one that was being used by someone who dipped tobaco and was using it as a spitoon!! I don't care HOW "minty fresh" it was supposed to be it was still disgusting! Second worst was in the 80's traveling through Germany...we stopped and bought some chcolate bits from a little market and I found a tooth in mine!

For all of you that skipped the ones after the dog poo....you have to go back and read the very last one!!!! Makes it all worth it, as it is funny as beep!

For all of you that skipped the ones after the dog poo....you have to go back and read the very last one!!!! Makes it all worth it, as it is funny as beep!

My dad went to Ukraine, and was served a delicious homemade bread,that had little black dots in it. Turns out that bugs in flour arepretty common in poor areas, so they just bake them into the bread -extra protein! YUCK.

My little sister as a kid lovedclementines (the small oranges) until one day, at school, she peeled anorange and wrapped around the orange inside was a live worm. Shewouldn't eat oranges again for years!

 As for me, personally, the worst I've had in my food is plastic, and sometimes hair. Definitely not traumatic, just a bit gross. 

Worst I've ever had..as a mommy...was when my daughter made me take a bite of her cookie. She insisted rather urgently. After I chewed it up and swallowed I said there! I ate it!! Turns out it had a booger on the gooey chocolate chip and she didn't wanna eat it....my brother, when he was a baby, took a turf out of his diaper and told my aunt (drunk) that it was a chocolate. She popped it in her mouth and puked everywhere. Lol

I took my then 3-year-old son out for breakfast and ordered him scrambled eggs.  Fortunately I never turn his food over to him without checking it out first unless I prepared it myself. As I flipped the egg over and proceeded to cut it up, I saw that it had been scrambled with a huge fly in it.  It was all I could do to keep from throwing up.  The server I showed it to didn't even bat an eye, like that was something that happened all the time.  Yeah, we haven't eaten there since!

lol, I nearly up chucked a few times reading that. My worst food experience:We stayed the night at a friends house, and the next day her youngest (then 10) was eating cold pizza from the night before, he came up and gave a piece each to my youngest (then 6) and me, i took a bite and whilst removing the slice from my mouth I saw the pizza topping wriggling. It turned out the pizza had not been in the fridge at all, it was on the coffee table in the children's game room, and was covered in maggots (the joys of summer time). When informed my son stopped eating, but the other boy just shrugged his shoulders and kept on eating....I ran to the toilet threw up and then informed his mother, turned out by the time he had offered us some, he had eaten 2 slices already, and by the time I had told his mum, he was on his 4th.

I was eating Beef with Broccoli from a local restaurant when I bit into a piece of buckshot. ...I don't think that was actually beef I was eating. The restaurant was shut down the next week.

My brother in law had just returned from Germany and was struggling with speaking English again.  When his girlfriends mother served him some extra hot soup he said, "Ouch!  It burned my testicles!"  He assures us he meant to say taste buds. ; )

I have to share #34. I'm still laughing. Parenthood is not for the faint at heart, or the weak stomach!! lol

I'm # 32. And I was standing behind my Mom when she told her that the eggrolls were made from dog. Talk about traumatizing. I had no idea people even THOUGHT about eating dogs. But yeah....the tea story definitely was horrible! And the last story was too hilarious! *L* Thanks for posting these!

I found a pubic hair on my pizza in highschool.  A few years later I found metal shards (from the can of sauce maybe?) in my pizza.  4 pieces in all.  I'm glad the kids didn't eat them.  I'm not sure why I still eat pizza. . . ..

bahahaha! the Hamster made me cry! 

OMG - I'm trying not to scream with laughter! EEEEEWWWWWW!

I really wanted a snack up until I read this....LOL... ewwww

I like how several of the stories specifically mention Taco Bell...

Too funny not to share!

Is it bad that, when taking my daughter (12yrs at the time) and her friend out for sushi, I actually told her friend wasabi was avocado? We laugh about it now... (mostly I do - it still makes me giggle)

Note to self... when travelling in the USA, never go to Taco Bell.

Note to self... when travelling in the USA, never go to Taco Bell.

I was working at Burger King some time ago, and in case you've never had the pleasure, working there I was just about the most tired I've ever been.

A woman came to the counter, showing me the hair she'd found in her sandwich. I picked it out for her, kind soul that I am, and she replied "I don't want it NOW! "

Oh my... Some of these are pretty disgusting. -- Mine was gross enough that I still can't eat soft-serve yogurt -- Drive thru at a popular frozen-yogurt chain... 3 cups of dutch chocolate... Hmmm.... they must have dropped sprinkles in my cup... OMG!!! it was frozen maggots!!!

I still don't know how but I ate something that gave me food poisioning to the point that I ended up in the hospital.  I spent five days there while the doctors tried to figure out what was wrong with me.  After I left the hospital and they thought it was one thing, it turned out that it was a bacterial infection that was cured with a $100 anti-biotic.  Needless to say it is a good thing I don't remember the place or means otherwise I would never be able to eat there again.

had to stop reading half way thru page 1, I don't need those images in my head!

had to stop reading half way thru page 1, I don't need those images in my head!

had to stop reading half way thru page 1, I don't need those images in my head!

Mine was the classic 'bite into the apple and find half a worm wiggling at me.' And fun (if traumatizing) article! I will never eat again. Great way to lose weight. ~.^

Thanks Dan. i needed that laugh today!

Thanks Dan. i needed that laugh today!

I had to stop reading after the liquid dog sample one. BARF!

When I had head lice when I was 10, my mom decided to try a chemical free way to eliminate the lice...so she found out mayonnaise on the head, then covered in plastic wrap and left on for 30 minutes could smother the lice. Needless to say, it didn't work, and now I can't stand the smell of mayonnaise. (She did use something else that wroked afterwards!)

that was soooo traumatizing!! the liquid dog stool sample was the worst!!