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  1. At a Civil War reenactment, a fellow confederate offered me homemade horse jerky while adding that he never eats anything he doesn’t kill himself.
  2. My sister ordered the Rainbow Trout on a ski vacation in MT. When it was served with the head still on, she got up, walked over to my parents’ table, and said “my food is looking at me!” They didn’t made her eat it.
  3. At a dinner in Japan. Unidentified goop in cup. Inquiries to Japanese coworkers hit language barrier. Live sample brought from kitchen. The thing SPIT in my face.
  4. There was a cockroach in my sandwich and I bit into it.
  5. Walked in my boyfriend’s house to see his father “using food” ON his mother … turned around walked right back out the door.
  6. I walked in the house and asked my mom if there was any tea left in the fridge and she said to help myself. Well, I saw there was two pitchers so I grabbed the emptier one. I poured it and drank most of what was in the glass and started gagging immediately. I asked her wtf was wrong with the tea and she asked which pitcher I used. When I told her, she told me that it wasn’t tea that i drank but instead a liquid stool sample from our sick dog.
  7. The moment I realized that the red chile stew I was eating was indeed my beloved pet nubian goat who had been slaughtered.
  8. I was sitting outside at the Cheesecake Factory, and a bird flew by and pooped right on my sandwich.
  9. First time I has sushi I thought the wasabi was puree’d avocado. Being a Bit of an oink I ate it in one scoop. Almost passed out.
  10. I was a teenager and my “boyfriend” was at our house for dinner. I was in charge of cooking the peas and my mom hollers into the living room “YOUR PEA WATER IS READY!!!”
  11. Getting chicken wings from a restaurant with a feather still attached.
  12. At 8 years old, our neighbor would bring us egg rolls. One day she made us some special ones and was most proud. They tasted “off”, so my Mom told her (in case the meat was bad), and she informed my mom it was dog.
  13. I once got a staple lodged into the back of my throat while eating fried rice from Chinese take out.
  14. And, a lot longer than 40 words, but how could it not be… One day when I was having a tough “Mommy” day, I really needed chocolate to make it until bedtime (I have 3 sons). So I reached into the freezer for the one HoHo that I had carefully hidden from my family. I pulled out the sandwich bag with the round, black object in it that i was SURE was the last HoHo. However, when I reached into the bag, instead of pulling out the chocolatey goodness that was going to save what was left of my sanity, instead I pulled out the boys’ dead hamster. Apparently he had died that morning and the boys had hidden his body in the freezer, hoping to perform an “autopsy” later! I was so startled to find a dead hamster in my hand that I flung it across the kitchen in disgust, where it accidentally knocked one of the kids’ friends upside the head. Apparently being hit in the head by a frozen hamster hurts a great deal, so more yelling and chaos ensued. And then when I found out that the kids had eaten my HoHo when they hid the hamster in the freezer, even MORE yelling happened! Its a miracle those kids made it to adulthood.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. What was your most traumatic food experience?

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he’s most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It’s an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!