On the Single Dad Laughing Facebook Page, I asked this question:
What was the most disgusting or terrifying incident you’ve ever had involving insects (or other creepy crawly things)?
My worst creepy crawly moment happened in Hawaii. I’d just unpacked my suitcases and cracked open my laptop in my dorm room. I was sitting in my underwear at my computer doing whatever new college freshmen do, when a huge heavy something scurried across my bare feet. I screamed like a woman and lurched away from the desk. Underneath were two giant cockroaches, hooked together in a moment of lust. Above them, the wall was pulsating. I poked it with a shoe and hundreds of massively huge cockroaches scattered in all directions.
I think I spent my entire minimum wage earnings that semester on roach traps.
Anyway, here are your replies. They’re like a horrible wreck. You just can’t look away.
- A bird pooped on a a tootsie roll pop just as my son put in his mouth and before I could grab it.
- Being stung on the rectal area by a scorpion by pulling my underwear up after a visit to a porta potty on a construction site.
- I came across my 6 month old EATING a big brown beetle.. Crunching it and saying Yum yum.
- I stepped on a tomato worm in bare feet. it exploded guts all up between my toes.
- In college I had to remove an imbedded tick from my friend’s butt cheek.
- Woke up with a bug crawling up my nose, through my sinus cavity, and coming down my throat.
- I stepped out of the shower, grabbed my towel, started to wrap it round my hair and a huge spider ran out of it and down my naked body.
- A cockroach in my glass of Coke that I discovered the hard way.
- Centipede. In. The. Shower.
- My ex was renovating a house and a spider crawled up his shorts and bit him on his foreskin. It swelled up so bad he gave in and got circumcised.
- I saw a giant spider in the basement…stepped on it….and hundreds, maybe thousands of baby spiders scattered in every direction!
- The apartment above us was infested with cockroaches. Due to a water leak, my ceiling (their floor) was rotting in the bathroom. I was taking a bath when cockroaches started dropping on me from the hole in the ceiling above.
- A moth crawled into my ear while I was sleeping. We couldn’t get it out, so I had to feel it continue to beat it’s wings in an effort to get out of the ear. After it was dead, I had to trust a doctor to retrieve it using a dab of superglue on the end of a cotton swab.
- While ordering at Cheddar’s, my son took a drink and sucked up a live slug from his sweet tea.
- Working as a paramedic, I had to clean out maggots from between the fat rolls of a patient.
- Drinking a ginger ale-lemonade concoction I had made, I crunched down on a piece of ice, only to find out it was a stinkbug. I thought my tongue was going to swell. The stink bug was hotter than a jalapeño.
- I was very pregnant and one of those huge flying roaches flew under my skirt.
- A lovely jog along the San Francisco River, noticed the ground had become crunchy, looked down and realized I was running on top of MILLIONS of spider shells, I looked up into the thick huge CA Oak trees and saw MILLIONS of live spiders in HUGE webs, hanging crawling, MILLIONS. I backed out of the forest along the river into a large parking parking lot and didn’t sleep a wink all night.
- My hair is long and curly. My mom hangs fly traps in her basement, and my hair got caught in one full of dead and dying flies. It yanked my head back, and wrapped around my face as well.
- I had just moved and since glasses weren’t unpacked yet, I drank straight from the iced tea pitcher. Just as I’m lowering the pitcher back down, I see 2 dead cockroaches in the bottom…
- My sister vacuumed up gypsy moths and they ate through the vacuum bag!
- Stepped out of my tent barefoot in the middle of the night, stepped on about 20 snails and slugs. Up between my toes!
- I woke up in the middle of the night to a daddy long leg crawling into my mouth.
- Eating at an unnamed major restaurant that is always thankful it is Friday, I found a whole and intact cockroach in a mostly eaten Caesar salad.
- I woke up last Monday morning and streeeeeeetched. First big yawn of the day and I inhale a spider!! It went right down my esophagus. I could feel it move!! Turns out I would be a terrible bulimic as I was not able to make myself vomit. I drank a ton of water to try and make that creepy feeling go away to no avail. I walked around all day waiting for it to crawl back up out of my throat. I imagined waking the following morning to a mouth full of spiderlings!! Good thing I know that in reality a spider could not survive my stomach acid and would quickly die. Unfortunately, all rationality flies right out the window when it comes to swallowing a spider.
- My sister had just built a new house – still had some areas not completed. I had just taken a shower and grabbed a towel from her shelf and started to dry myself. All of a sudden something was bitting me hard on my breast. I moved the towel and saw a pinching beatle hanging on to a very sensitive place. It would not let go!!! I screamed and everyone in the house came running – kids, brother-in-law – everyone. I tried to cover myself but was afraid there might be more beatles in the towel. The bug was hangin on for dear life. I finally had to show it to my brother-in-law who managed to get it to release it grip.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Which were your favorites, and… knowing that I might use it in a future blog post, in 40 words or less, what was the most disgusting or terrifying incident you’ve ever had involving insects (or other creepy crawly things)?
I like bugs and creepy crawlies. But i have to say the worst time was when I was pulling weeds from the base in the garden. I was digging them out by hand, so i grabbed what I thought was the root of a weed. But it made this sickening crunch in my hand, and then it felt all warm and wet. When I pulled up my hand, there was a giant broken moth cocoon, maybe 4 inches in length, in my hand. Not only that, but it bled gushingly, with blood as red as any human. It horrified me because A. it was so red. B. It was so huge and.... crunchy... But other than that I'm good with insects and arachnids, I love spiders
I lived in an apartment where, every few days or so, I would see an earwig. It kinda freaked me out but I lived with it....until one morning I woke up, went to the bathroom and when I came back into the bedroom, found 4 dead earwigs right where I had been sleeping. I had rolled onto them throughout the night and killed them. I don't even want to imagine them crawling on me to get to the middle of the bed where I found them. It took months for me to finally lay down without jumping up every few minutes to check for earwigs before I fell asleep. Not to mention the constant phantom tickling that plagued me when my mind convinced me earwigs were crawling on me. I have worn earplugs to sleep every night since lol.
I was visting my Dad and had gotten up to eat breakfast. I looked around and though "That granola looks good." So I poured myself a bowl and pour some milk over it. I proceeded to eat the whole bowl, thinking it was strange how many burn sesame like things were floating in it. Well I was still hungry so I went to pour myself another bowl. This time I noticed that the darn bag was crawling with little black bugs. I squealed and then proceeded to tell myself its only extra protein and it didn't taste bad so there was no need to barf... which is what I wanted to do, but I suppose I hate throwing up more then eating bugs. I called my Dad a yelled at him about it (I was a teenager and needed to blame someone for letting me eat a bowl of bugs).
I was taking the trash outside one morning and as soon as I opened the back door, I saw this huge, FAT, plump spider hanging in the door frame. Before I could move back, it dropped right on my chest. My brain shut off and somehow I dropped the trash bag, took a step back into the house, closed the door (thank God) and stripped off my shirt all in one movement. I ran my hands all over looking for the spider but I could. not. find. it. I screamed for my husband who is terrified of spiders and had to convince him to see if he could find it on me. I was convinced it was in my hair and was ready to just shave it. Finally I remembered the shirt and nudged it with my toe and the spider came running out at me. Yes, I stomped it.
I have a story to tell on a cousin about a "not really a" spider story. She went into the bathroom and saw a huge spider on the toilet seat. Being a brave girl, she just used a tissue to sweep it into the toilet and flushed it away. Then, as she was sitting there doing her business, with her pants around her calves, her cell phone vibrated in her pocket, making her think something was crawling up her leg. She jumped up on the toilet seat, stripped her pants off as she was getting up there, and started screaming for her mom to come help her. Her mom came in, looked in her pant legs, couldn't find anything, but felt the phone vibrate again, and realized what happened. We still tell that story at family reunions everytime someone brings up an encounter with creepy crawlies.
My husband and I were staying in a Hotel just recently in California. On the third morning of us being there we noticed some red marks on him. I immediately thought they looked like bed bug bites. So we googled it of course, they did indeed match the photos. After talking to the hotel management they moved us rooms, took all of our belongings to be dry cleaned and heat treated so we were with out clothes and possessions for 2 days of our trip. After heat treating the room we had previously been in they did find dead bed bugs. After doing more research on bed bugs we found out that bites can appear anywhere from 3-14 days after being "eaten" on. When this was all said and done my husband had approx. 180 bites. Apparently he tasted better then me because we slept in the same bed and I had only 9 bites!
While on holiday in Malaysia, there was a sudden swarm of flying ants. To get to the hotel room we had to wade through the wriggling insects, which were literally knee high!!
I woke up one night and heard movement on the bookshelf above my bed. I switched on the lamp and a cockroach came flying off my self and hit me in between the eyes. I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night.
I was at summer camp drinking a glass of milk when I sucked something weird up in my straw. I spit it out on my plate. It was a worm...I couldn't drink milk for at least 10 years afterwards.
I just worked in Seattle for the summer doing pest control... I don't think any of these will top my list of nasty things. I'll read it after some homework and let you know. :)
I was going to visit my friend, and as I started up his stairs, I ran into a spiderweb so thick you could hear it SNAPPING. It was like having embroidery floss stick to you. Well, if the webbing is that thick, the spider has to be human sized, so I start shrieking and running up the stairs, burst into his house, stripping the whole way. He didn't live alone and was in his room playing a video game. I was beating myself, screaming GET IT OFF! It took him a moment to understand what had happened. After getting me calmed down, clothes on, and de-webbed. We figured out the web belonged to an Orb Weaver spider. Relatively harmless, just HUGE and they make some huge webs.
I have a hand carved, life size dia de los muertos skeleton. Once, while cleaning around it, I bumped it. Apparantly, a daddy long legs had laid it's eggs in the head, and the all started pouring out of the eyes, nose and mouth. Bugs don't bother me, but that was juuuust a touch too much...
Florida is full of creepy crawlies! While I was there I was bitten by a Brown Recluse Spider which has a strong digestive fluid not a neurotoxin. Untreated, such a bite can lead to amputation (check out pics online). I got up one night and went to the bathroom in the dark. I didn't know the spider was hiding under the seat and it bit me in the crease between my thigh and butt cheek. Not fun!
Our back yard was INFESTED with hybrid spiders. They were a mix of a Colorado Wolf Spider and a Tarantula... shudder. The people that needed to know about them didn't believe me about how big they were so when I found one all curled up dead on my patio, I decided to prove my case. I grabbed a camera, a quarter and my guts went outside and dropped the quarter next to the dead spider. The body itself was the size of the quarter and it was a smaller one. I scooted the quarter a little closer to get the full size in the picture and as soon as I did, that damned spider came back to life and flung its legs at me. OMG!!! I took the lords name in vain. I screamed at the top of my lungs as it tried to flip over. Once it did flip over it started chasing my cat. At that point I'd had enough so I grabbed a phone book and smashed it over and over till it was mush! The last time I had tried to smash one with a phone book, the spider had crawled out from under the phone book and ran out into the grass unhurt. Those were some very scary spiders.
Coming home from a 10 hour day at work, get to the front door of the house. I'm TERRIFIED of spiders. Our house was surrounded by spiders. I knew this. I had come to accept it. If they get too close they die. Well, apparently this one didn't want to die. It wanted to scare the heck out of me. I'm staring at the big spider on the front door, trying to figure out how to get inside without it following. It jumped, AT ME. I screamed, and furiously started brushing at my clothes and hair. After 5 minutes I walked inside, shaking.
Thanks kristen lynne hall, I just bought a hse in fla, you've just changed a bad habit fo me! Yes, Dan, you're creating another insomniac!
In 1985, I lived near a creek. The only road out ran alongside the creek, and every spring, the frogs would come out and cover the road. There was no way to avoid driving over them if you wanted to go anywhere. I'd have to keep my windows up and turn the radio up loud to escape the squishing noises.
Then there was the year in Dallas when the entire city had a cricket invasion. They would swarm light poles and signs on the sides of buildings and parking lots would be covered in them - the sound of cars crunching over them would echo off the buildings. We went to a movie theater and they had to close one entrance because there were thousands of crickets covering the entire entrance - doors, walls, overhang - it was like a scene out of a Stephen King movie.
The other one was Christmas when I was 20. I was home alone and looking at the newly decorated tree, and saw all these teeny little spots. They were BABY SPIDERS. There was a nest in the tree and it hatched. Stupid me sprayed the STILL LIT tree with Raid, not knowing what else to do. Mom got home about 1/2 hour later, picked up the 6' tree like a football under her arm, screamed "OPEN THE <BLEEP> DOOR!" and she proceeded to hurl the tree - lights, decorations, and all - into the middle of our snow-covered lawn. We then went back to the very fancy lawn/garden store where we bought said spider-infested tree. I STILL feel bad for the poor kid that made the mistake of saying, "Hi! How can I help you?" to my mom. We never had another real tree again. LOL
We were in Tasmania, Australia, and my (ex)husband was showing us a Huntsman spider. My mom made all of us tuck our jeans into our socks. They are FAST. Dad sat in the car. With the doors locked. LMAO
Yeah definitely made me gag! Worst thing to happen to me was when I lived in Tennessee. Walked into my closet and grabbed some shorts that were on the ground. As soon as I pulled them up I immediately felt a burning sensation on my bottom. I took them off as quick as possible to find HUNDREDS of tiny fire ants EVERYWHERE.
Aaack, these are so yucky!!! Once, I was walking downhill on a sidewalk in Oregon when I slipped on something, managed to catch myself, & saw that it was a huge, squished slug!
Also when I was about 6, my dad shook a tree I was standing under and hundreds of grand-daddy long legs fell out of the tree on me. Almost 40 years later, I can say that I am a recovering arachnophobic.
This reminds me of one of my own stories (that I have desperately tried to forget)... one day in 6th grade I was taking a shower and looked down and saw thousands of tiny ants coming up out of the drain and crawling all over the shower - I literally FLEW out of the bathroom crying. We lived up in a house on the mountain-side area of our town and we were full on infested with ants apparently.My parents thought they had "bug bombed" them all but that night before I went to bed, I was reading and a line of ants crawled across my bed & across my book. Pretty sure I didn't sleep again until the 8th grade.
OMG...number 12 happened to me too! Only I was taking a shower and the first roach fell in my hair while I was rinsing it with my eyes closed, then another, then another. I jumped, fell down in the tub and about 10-15 came raining down!! Creepiest thing ever!
Omg, you're right, it IS like a horrible wreck. I just couldn't look away! I've been pretty lucky, but there was the one time, when we were smelling something dead for a week and couldn't find it. Finally, I was walking across a rug and felt a little lump and instantly knew what it was. I jumped around with the heebie jeebies for no good reason and made my husband deal with it while I turned my back. He lifted the rig and announced that nothing was there. I looked over my shoulder to see the dead mouse stuck to the underside of the rug, dangling right by his face, just before he noticed it. We both ran around gagging and doing the yucky dance like a couple of kids, which I now find hilarious and a little embarrassing. Ah, that was cathartic, thanks Dan :)
While playing hide & seek, something flew under my hair and latched onto my neck. It was a gigantic Preying Mantis and he was hanging on for dear life with those creepy little hooks they call hands. Once I finally dislodged him, he got hung up in my hair. I was screaming like the little girl I was the entire time. Cut my hair off the next day
Well there was the time i decided to kill a large wolf spider on my living room carpet with a sword. Of course upon slicing I unleashed 1000 baby spiders from inside...feeling queezy just thinking about it...lol
Not an insect, but a crawly thing... I was removing a mouse nest from inside our shed roof. Up on a ladder, I reached up to grab the nest, and momma mouse leaped into my shirt sleeve and proceeded to run up my arm and around inside my shirt until I could get my fleecy sweater and my shirt off. I was screaming the whole time, and my husband heard from the house, and had guessed what might have happened and was laughing so hard he was crying.
Locust in the kitchen- we SCREAMED and mom got the bug spray. Nailed that sucker to the window. It was alive but couldn't move. She used Hair Net. Dad had to chisel the thing off the window.
oh my LTI (laughing til incontinent) when i read them all... its like a train wreck.you cant stop reading..ok so my worse story involves a frog in the toilet and me sitting on the toilet..nuff said. ( i know its not a bug..but it close) no pun intended ;)
Years ago, as a college student driving home from a trip out west, I stayed at a cheap motel in Las Cruces. I put my half-consumed can of Mt. Dew on the nightstand. Next morning, grabbed it, got in the car and took off. Took a big swig and wound up with a cockroach in my mouth. After almost driving off the interstate at a high rate of speed, i proceeded to pull over and dry heave on the side of the road for 20 minutes.
jumping spiders..srsly..one jumped on my bf eye in the middle of night in, she screamed and flung her arm wide and gave her DH a shiner.
@BrittanyHunterLeavitt That happened to me before with granola too lols