Dating websites. Most of us have been members of them at one time or another. And, if you’re like me, translating people’s profiles is always easier said than done.

Don’t worry. I’ve taken the work out of it for you. Just follow this simple dating website dictionary and you’ll finally understand what people are trying to say.

You know… between the lines.

This is all in good fun. It has to be, I mean… some of these things are on my profile.

“This online dating thing is new to me. My friends are making me setup a profile.”
“Like I’m going to admit that I’m as nerdy and incapable of getting a date in real life as the rest of you are.”
“I love hiking!”
“I went hiking once when I was younger. It might have been a really long walk. I can’t remember.”
“I enjoy yoga.”
“I’ve never done yoga, and if you ever ask me to do yoga, I’ll always have a good excuse not to do it with you. I did buy a yoga mat once.”
“I’m very picky about who I reply to.”
“I’m convinced every guy on here is a big time pervert and only wants sex, so I’m only going to reply to those big time perverts who are hot.”
“I like a girl who will laugh with me.”
“I have yet to find someone who gets my extremely awkward sense of humor.”
“I want a guy who knows how to treat a lady.”
“My last boyfriend used to trap me under the blankets and fart.”
Continued on next page.
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!