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16 Ways I Blew My Marriage

dan-pearce-16-ways

You know what blows big time?

The other night I was sitting with my family, most of whom are very successfully married. We were going in a circle giving our best marriage advice to my little sister on the eve of her wedding. It’s somewhat of a family tradition.

But that’s not what blows. What really blows is that I realized I don’t have any good marriage advice to give. After all, I’ve never had a successful marriage out of the two marriages I did have.

And so, when it was my turn, I just made a joke about divorce and how you should always remember why you loved your spouse when you first met her so that when times get tough, you can find someone new that is just like she was.

There were a couple courtesy giggles, but overall my humor wasn’t welcome in such a beautifully building ring of profundity.

They finished round one, and for some reason started into another round. And that’s when I realized. Hey. I don’t have marriage advice to give, but I have plenty of “keep your marriage from ending” advice (two equivocally different things), and that might be almost as good.

It eventually came to me again, and what I said would have been such great advice if I were a tenth as good at saying things as I was at writing them.

And so, that night, I sat down and wrote out my “advice list” for my little sister. You know… things I wish I would have known or done differently so that I didn’t end up divorced (twice). After writing it, I thought maybe I’d share it with all of you, too.

I call it my “Ways I Blew My Marriage” list. Also, for the list’s sake, I am just going to refer to “her” instead of “them” even though they almost all were true in both marriages.

1. DON’T STOP HOLDING HER HAND
When I first dated the woman I ended up marrying, I always held her hand. In the car. While walking. At meals. At movies. It didn’t matter where. Over time, I stopped. I made up excuses like my hand was too hot or it made me sweat or I wasn’t comfortable with it in public. Truth was, I stopped holding hands because I stopped wanting to put in the effort to be close to my wife. No other reason.
IF I HAD IT TO DO-OVER: I’d hold her hand in the car. I’d hold her hand on a star. I’d hold her hand in a box. I’d hold her hand with a fox. And I’d hold her hand everywhere else, too, even when we didn’t particularly like each other for the moment.
BONUS! When you hold hands in the winter, they don’t get cold. True story.
2. DON’T STOP TRYING TO BE ATTRACTIVE.
Obviously when I was working to woo her, I would do myself up as attractively as I possibly could every time I saw her. I kept perfectly groomed. I always smelled good. I held in my farts until she wasn’t around. For some reason, marriage made me feel like I could stop doing all that. I would get all properly groomed, smelling good, and dressed up any time we went out somewhere or I went out by myself, but I rarely, if ever, cared about making myself attractive just for her.
IF I HAD IT TO DO-OVER: I’d try and put my best foot forward throughout our entire marriage. I’d wait to fart until I was in the bathroom whenever possible. I’d make myself desirable so that she would desire me.
BONUS! when you trim your man hair, guess what. She returns the favor.
3. DON’T ALWAYS POINT OUT HER WEAKNESSES.
For some reason, somewhere along the way, I always ended up feeling like it was my place to tell her where she was weak and where she could do better. I sure as heck didn’t do that while we were dating. No, when I dated her I only built her up, only told her how amazing she was, and easily looked past all of her flaws. After we got married though, she sometimes couldn’t even cook eggs without me telling her how she might be able to improve.
IF I HAD IT TO DO-OVER: I wouldn’t say a damned thing about anything that I thought could use improvement. I’ve learned since my marriage ended that there is more than one right way to do most things, and that the imperfections of others are too beautiful to try and change.
BONUS! when you tell her what she’s doing right, she’ll tell you what you’re doing right. And she’ll also tell her friends. And her family. And the dentist. And even strangers on the street.
4. DON’T STOP COOKING FOR HER.
I knew how to woo a girl, for sure. And the ticket was usually a night in, cooking a nice meal and having a romantic evening. So why is it then, that I didn’t do that for her after we got married? Sure, I’d throw some canned soup in the microwave or fry up some chimichangas once in a while, but I rarely if ever went out of my way to sweep her off her feet after we were married by steaming crab legs, or making fancy pasta, or setting up a candlelit table.
IF I HAD IT TO DO-OVER: I’d make it a priority to cook for her, and only her, something awesome at least every month. And I’d remember that meat in a can is never awesome.
BONUS! candlelit dinners often lead to candlelit bow chica bow-wow.
5. DON’T YELL AT YOUR SPOUSE.
I’m not talking about the angry kind of yelling. I’m talking about the lazy kind of yelling. The kind of yelling you do when you don’t want to get up from your television show or you don’t want to go ALL THE WAY UPSTAIRS to ask her if she’s seen your keys. It really doesn’t take that much effort to go find her, and yelling (by nature) sounds demanding and authoritative.
IF I HAD IT TO DO-OVER: I’d try to go find her anytime I needed something or wanted to know something, and I’d have both gratitude and manners when I did. I always hated when she would yell to me, so why did I always feel it was okay to yell to her?
BONUS! sometimes you catch her doing something cute that you would have missed otherwise.
6. DON’T CALL NAMES.
I always felt I was the king of not calling names, but I wasn’t. I may not have called her stupid, or idiot, or any of the other names she’d sometimes call me, but I would tell her she was stubborn, or that she was impossible, or that she was so hard to deal with. Names are names, and calling them will drive bigger wedges in communication than just about anything else.
IF I HAD IT TO DO-OVER: Any time it got to the point that I wanted to call names, I’d call a time-out and come back to it later. Or better yet, I’d call her names, but they’d be names like “super sexy” or “hotness.” Even in the heat of the moment.
BONUS! she’ll call you names in better places. Like the bedroom.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

5247 comments
Fen
Fen

Interesting list.  Some good truth in there.  Also LOL @ the countless Nigerian scam spell caster posts.  A quick tip to you scammers:  One post might make someone curious.  A page full of posts that all sound the same is an obvious scam and even elderly grandmas who know nothing about the internet know enough to stay far away from this crap.

JenniferJennifer
JenniferJennifer

I was having serious relationship problems with my husband and it had resulted in him moving out.Everything got worse, he started going to strip clubs frequently, getting drunk and passing out..Sometimes when we talked on phone, he would threaten me, he was just not himself and our children were suffering for all the drama. I really love him and we had been married for 17yrs which gave us three beautiful daughters..I had also lost a lot of money on therapists and spell-casters..I was in debt and I felt my world crumbling..I was introduced to a spell caster by a friend who he helped with the same problem and I thought it was just a scam all over again but this time it was different..I did all he asked me to and after a few days, he started getting better, he started calling, texting, things just changed between us, emotions, our love.He has a job and has been sober since and am also out of debt..Its a miracle I never believed was possible, I had lost all hope until I found him..He works and if you have the same problem I did, he is the solution [email protected]

annonymouss
annonymouss

I almost took my life because of my lover who left me and stopped picking my calls, I tried to convince him But he will not believe me until we had a fight and broke up, After then I realize I can not live without him because of the love I have for him. I tried everything possible to get him back, but non worked for me, some fake spell casters scammed me and went away with my money until I came across this man called Dr.Zabaza, he cast a spell for me and behold my lover came back within 48 hours, Begging me for forgiveness i was so surprised that a good spell casters still exist. If anyone here needs some help with all sincerity, contact Dr.Zabaza via his email: [email protected] or call +2348182620374

TE
TE

How did this turn into a love potion/spell commercial?  Spells and potions?   Really?  I'd be skeptical about the effectiveness and duration of such things even if I believed in them.

Anyway, my 2nd wife of 5 years called me out on a recent "questionable" investment I made without consulting her (again) and in a litany of unsuppressed rage, covered most of the items you listed here as unjustified and unacceptable faults of my own.  I was shocked, ashamed, and humbled by the accuracy of her observations.  For someone who was as good a husband as thought I was, I was a real Jerk.  It was a badly needed eye-opener.


So thank you for offering your experiences as wisdom for the rest of us.  I should have seen it 6 months ago and saved myself a painful comeuppance. 

I've changed my ways drastically and she's a lot "friendlier".




Renee
Renee

This post makes me sick. Has it ever occurred to you to go back to one of the two wives that you have had, that you have committed to love forever- in a covenant you made to your wife and God, and love her back to you? You made a serious commitment to two different women. Try humbling yourself, taking your vows seriously, and winning one back. Commit to her, and love her the way you mention above. Instead of making light of this sad situation. 

bloomloyalty
bloomloyalty

This is the SPAMIEST comment section I have EVA' seen...dude get a plugin ! 
List is pretty good from a woman's perspective as well ....but seriously get a plugin.  I can recommend some . 

bestspell
bestspell

"Never in my life have I seen magic work so fast. I ordered a love spells from [email protected] because my man was acting like he didn't want to be with me anymore and spending less time with me before we broke up and i ask Dr. Stanley to cast a love spell on him to make him love me again and come back to me which he did and in the next 24hours after the spell was cast my man came to my house to begg for forgiveness and ask me to accept him back. Thank you Dr.  for your help...

MellisaHannah
MellisaHannah

My Name is Mellisa Hannah,I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster once when i went to Africa to Execute some business..He is really powerful.The woman i wanted to marry left me 1 weeks to our weeding ceremony and my life was upside down.she was with me for 7 years and i really love her so much..she left me for another man with no reason..when i called her she never picked up my calls and she don’t want to see me around her…so,when i told the man what happened.he helped me to do some readings,and after the readings he made me to realize that the other man has done some spells over my wife and that is the reason why she left me..he told me he will help me to cast a spell that bring her back.At first i was skeptical but i just gave it a try…In 2 days,she called me herself and came to me apologizing..I cant believe she can ever come back to me again but now i am happy she’s back and we are married now with lovely kid and we live as a happy family..Am posting this to the forum incise anyone needs the man.His email address is [email protected]

elizabeth234
elizabeth234

i just want to share my experience and testimony here on how Priest Andrew.. i was married for 6years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hailing me and he was abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost…then he filed for divorce..my whole life was turning apart and i didn't know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to this [email protected]  so i decided to try it reluctantly..although i didn't believe in all those things… then when he did the  spell, after 4 days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn't believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are happy

def
def

This is all good advice that I've lived by since we started dating but I will say one thing:

DON'T TELL ME HOW TO POO.

Paula547
Paula547


I thought everything was fine in my relationship until he explained to me he wanted out and that it was him and not me. I couldn't  understand because I thought everything was fine and that we were in love. Then I decided to look into this further and I looked at his Facebook account and then I saw the other woman that he was involved with, I was devastated and cried.The problem for me was that I still loved Joel and I believed in my heart that he was my soul mate. i tried to work things out but after 5 years in what I thought was the best and greatest romance of my life Joel didn't want me and in fact he was planning to leave and during that time there was a lot of arguing that made matters worse. I had no idea of what else to do and so i took a chance at [email protected] with the help of a spell and to cut the long story short, he came back and set things right again and now we are living happily together. If you ever need help in relationship issues, contact him on [email protected], Prophet Mike is his name.

samshah27
samshah27

#1 hit me hard, I just want another chance to hold her hand 

Paula547
Paula547

It was a complete sudden stop in my life when my relationship with my fiancee came to a halt without any reason and he said that he has fallen for someone else, it was Dr. Stanley who helped me get back my fiancee with a love spell and now we are happily married, thanks a lot Dr. Stanley. If you need his help to restore your relationship back, you can contact him via [email protected]-----

LOVESPELL
LOVESPELL

i want to thank Dr Kwale for the love binding spell he did for me that made my ex boyfriend to come back to me within the period of 34hours. I am really grateful to him because the love spell he did for me made my boyfriend to love me more than before and ever since he came back to me he is so committed to me and he shows me so much love and respect. In case you need the help of Dr Kwale in your relationship you can email him via his email address [email protected] or call him on +2348056141089



JosePatrich
JosePatrich

Good day my name is Moses am from USA, i don't just know how to say this, am short of words i never new that there are spell casters who can truly bring back lost love,but Dr OLUBAM has showed me that there are real spell casters,he brought back my love after i have been scammed by some thief's who clams to be spell casters, i was in love with a girl she loved me and i loved her too,suddenly she started behaving negatively towards me,one morning she just woke up and told me she is tired of the relationship, i was so surprised because i never did anything wrong to her since we have been in relationship for good 4years i do respect her so much just because of the love i have for her,so i decided to plead with her to forgive me if i have wronged her unknowingly, but she insisted to quite,that was how we broke up since 2years ago, i could not do without her because i love her so much, she left me and she no longer pick my calls,then i have been looking for how to get her back to my life, i have been contacting some thief's only who clams to be spell casters they scammed me of my money, then i decided not to contact any spell caster again,until a friend of mine introduced me to Dr OLUBAM he told me that Dr OLUBAM helped his sister in getting back her love few weeks ago then i decided to give a try for the last time due to the evidence i saw, then i contacted him and told him everything and how i have been scammed the only thing he told me was that am lucky for contacting him that my love will come back to me within 24 hours,then i told him that is not possible then he told me to watch and see,that was how i decided to wait and see what will happened in the next 24hours,immediately the 24hours got complete surprisingly i got a call from her i was shocked she was crying on the phone pleading to me that i should forgive her,at first i taught it was a dream,but i now realized that this is reality so i have to forgive her because that is what i have been looking for,within the next 5hours she came to my house still pleading for forgive then i told her i have forgiven her and now we are living happily than ever before, i thank you Dr OLUBAM, if you need his help you can contact him through his private mail: [email protected] and [email protected]

Jake Walls
Jake Walls

Am just short of words just confused and so happy don't know how to start, I never believed that a striaght forward spell caster still exist on the internet, After i have been scammed by lots of fake spell caster with lies i never believed i would ever meet a spell caster that will ever bring back Dennis to my arms again after 2 years of break up i could not leave without him, i was so sad and unhappy even lost my job because i was not concentrating anymore, i was always thinking of him, Then i came in contact with this God sent Dr Baba, Who has brought back happiness that left me for 2 solid years when i told him my problem he laughed and said everything would be okay within days, i was like hmmm is this real, So i decided to give it a try, after a few hours i was shocked when i got a call from Ron crying that he was sorry for what he has done to me i was so happy and a cry of joy fell of my eye's. Ron came over to my place and now we are together he can't do without seeing me for just a second all thanks and adoration goes to Dr Baba for what he has done for me. Please dont contact other spell caster online that are there to add pain to your life just contact Dr baba on is email [email protected]  

LisaRabiye
LisaRabiye


Marriage/Relationship Approval Spell from dr.marnish is amazing and worked very well for me. [email protected] solved my Relationship problem just in 3 days. I hope to work with dr.marnish again in the nearest future, if you need help call him +15036626930
Lisa Rabiye

BradleySpeck1
BradleySpeck1

I had a problem with my boyfriend six months ago,which lead to us apart.

When he broke up with me,I was no longer myself,I fill so empty inside

sorry.Until a friend of mine told me about one of her spells that helped in

same problem too. i email the spells and I told him my problem

and I did what he asked me to briefly make. the long story Before I knew it

what happened,not 48 hours,my friend gave me a call and he

come back to me and told me he was sorry about what was going to happen, I'm so

grateful to these spells and will not stop publishing his name on the internet

just for the good work he has doing.If you need his help,you can email him at

([email protected])and he will also help you to Dr.TRUST (

[email protected]) I will be forever grateful to you.

BigKahuna
BigKahuna

Great stuff here that I'm not sure works in reverse. Anyway, a couple things that I would like to mention or add to your list. When you are married and have kids, make sure that both partners still put the marriage first. I know it sounds odd but I see way too many wives (some husbands too) that elevate the kids to a status above the husband in terms of time/ attention and especially affection. You have to keep showing your spouse the love that was there before children. Men can start to feel like they are a paycheck/taxi only. Watch the commercials on TV some night and pay attention to the content. The general message is that the Mom/Wife is in charge of the house and that the Dad/Husband is a buffoon that needs to be told what he has to do. Ladies please don't fall into that stereotype. Respect him as you did before kids. Take a minute to think about your friends who have been married a long time and how they talk about their husbands. Also, try not to compete with each other. I've found that "me time" starts to become a bargaining chip or source of currency in a marriage with kids. Get over that hump! Turn "me time" into "us away from the kids time". Just my 2cents.

Paula547
Paula547

Hey my name is Alice, i want to appreciate Dr Agba for the real love powerful spell he did for me that made my ex boyfriend who broke up with me to come back to me within the period of 5days. Ever since my boyfriend came back to me his love for me is so real and now he treat my with so much love and respect. i also want to recommend him in case you need his help in your broken relationship you can reach him via his email address [email protected] for immediate help.

EdwinWallace
EdwinWallace



I have always wanted to be able to not live paycheck to paycheck or have any debt. I worked in accounting for about 20 years and was barely able to make ends meet. It seemed like any time I moved up in the company and received a raise, my living expenses would go up significantly and I was never able to get ahead. lottery spells. Then one day my best friend told me the truth about what he did when his wife left him. He had a love spell cast and she stopped the divorce proceedings and they got back together. When he told me this I asked who he used and he gave me their email address which is:[email protected] and I immediately contacted them for help. I saw that they offered different kinds of money spells to help win the lottery. I was immediately intrigued. I have always felt like I was going to win the lottery someday. I had the jackpot lottery spell cast and awaited my win. I was told to play the lottery each week and I did what I was told. I played the lottery each week anyways, so it did not change anything. Within about two weeks it happened. I won $100,000!! I could not believe it! It was not enough money to retire right away, but I invested it well and it has allowed me to go down to part time work and will help me retire much earlier. I am eternally grateful for finding their email address:[email protected]

Paula547
Paula547

"This is a testimony i must share with people. Me and my boyfriend of 3years was about to move in together, all of a sudden he got cold feet and just went off. I email [email protected] for help to bring him back and within 2 days he was back, I don't know what he did, but it worked and my boyfriend is now living with me and we are expecting our first child and couldn't be happier!".......Paula

LisaBrooke
LisaBrooke

I love your advice! I haven't read part 2 yet but I wish my ex-husband could have read this before he walked out on our marriage suddenly. I'm not saying I was perfect...far from it...but I was willing to try. In our marriage vows I asked to add in something I started saying to him early in our relationship...."I promise to always owe you one more kiss." It was my way of promising that I wouldn't let the romance die, that I'd never give up on *showing* my love, not just saying it.

seriusxyz
seriusxyz

The only thing that annoys me is how if you do most of these, the goal or bonus at the end of it is sex.

rose
rose

Ouch!! can't believe that's the advice you jokingly offered to your sister on the eve of her wedding was "you can find someone new that is just like she was." I can't help but think that you're a bit narcissistic here. Rather than thinking of being supportive to her you were feeling sorry for yourself.  Being aware of anothers' needs and feelings and also of situational appropriateness might help keep a relationship as well. Seriously, the comment was crass and gave very little love. Maybe that's where you could start on this list...put your significant others' feelings before your own. While your list is sweet it's gonna take a lot more than just 14 points to keep a marriage from failing. I've known men who did just these and are divorced. Instead of trying to simplify marriage...I'll offer again...put your spouse/children before yourself as much as you can and refrain from making really lame comments when they need your love.

beawesomeb
beawesomeb

I really like 14. the negative labels.  I am going to use this with my children.  I know with the practice on them, I will be better at it with my man.  We have a lot of kids so I will get lots of practice.  I will make a poster in the kitchen so I remember.  I think this will have the most influence in focusing on the positive.  I will post this on facebook but I will not dictate which ones my husband should work on.  That would be bad.  And I will write my issues with my husband instead of take them out on my children because I love my sweetheart and can never get mad at him.  I will be better at communicating positively with my family.

LBailey712
LBailey712

I find your perspective and your transparency refreshing.  We have a strong marriage but I see SEVERAL of the bad habits you mention that have crept in across our 22 years.  Thanks for the challenge!  Praying God's best for you as you raise your son.

Mel Sue Goo
Mel Sue Goo

I agree with most of your list (especially the poop with the door closed) . I disagree with "don't fight in front of the children". Okay, if it is of an adult nature, talk about it privately. But if not, don't hide it. Show the children that you can disagree and argue and even slam doors, but that doesn't mean you stop loving each other. Let the kids see you fight, cool off, apologize and be cool with each other. Not sullen, withdrawn and hurt for days on end. If they don't learn to do this from their family, how will they know that a fight isn't the end of a marriage, or other relationship. Parents are far from perfect (all the time) and kids need to see them be wrong and get past it.

Mel Sue Goo
Mel Sue Goo

I agree with most everything you listed (especially the poop one) except "not fighting in front of the kids". Some fights should be done in private, especially if they are of an adult nature. But if you children don't see you fight and make up and still love each other through it all they won't know what to do when they have their first fight with their spouse.

Crystal
Crystal

This is a great list, and I think a lot of people can benefit from your ideas. I just want to say, on the subject of number 7: The whole concept of "your money/my money" is poison to a marriage. If you want to set aside a personal allowance that's ok, as long as you both get one. But the rest of the money should be, "our money," regardless of who earns it, and the bills should be, "our bills," too. If you can't commit yourself to a lifetime partnership in which both partners are equally valued, equally responsible and equally trusted then you're really just setting up a temporary domestic alliance right from the start and you shouldn't be surprised when it ends.

LauraHager
LauraHager

If you are ready to practice what you preach, I'm single! ;-)

sonyabodine
sonyabodine

This is a wonderful advice list for both men & women. Yes ladies- everything that makes a relationship struggle is not the man's fault!

My first marriage ended after 17 years because of exactly some of the reasons listed here.

I am now married to a wonderful man who was also married before and I know his marriage ended for some of these same reasons.

It's a struggle everyday not to fall back to repeating past mistakes, but we are determined not too!

I also see my daughter and her husband starting to go through what I call "The honeymoon's over" stage, which is when that snowball of "that's stupid" &" Why can't you do it?" starts, and once it starts rolling, it's easy to let it turn into a avalanche before you know it.

I try to give them this same advice, but coming from me I think they think I'm just a busybody!

So I have pinned this to my gotta share box, hoping both of my daughters will take the time to read it.

I'm pretty sure they are going to think it sounds familiar. But sometimes things are found to have more power when coming from a complete stranger.

Well, in any case thanks for posting your advice. And I'm sure your next relationship will be wonderful and everything you deserve! Best of luck.

RickyLarson
RickyLarson

Susan Davis...That is CRAY CRAY! Just thought you should know..

Buzzcat2
Buzzcat2

It's very obvious from this post that this man, in some way or another, still loves this woman dearly. He's listing what he did wrong so he obviously has regrets. You know nothing of his personal life and know nothing about this circumstance. Maybe he wants to make up but she doesn't, maybe she's moved on in the time that passed. It makes you sick? If someone trying to help others by sharing their mistakes makes you sick then I wonder what makes you happy. This touched my heart because it was full of love and genuine regret. He very much loved this woman and it's not fair for you to be so harsh about it. Also, I think he chose to make light of it to appeal to the readers, obviously. I apologize if I come off as harsh but your post comes off as kind of hostile. I'm a woman of God, too, mind you.

mmschwab
mmschwab

@Renee Did it ever occur to you that maybe those women have moved on and have husbands?  You are making a lot of unfair assumptions about some situations that you only know some very limited information about.  This guy is trying to HELP people, and you tear him down?  I think that's very uncalled for.  I can only hope that someday I will have a husband that reads this and will be a much better man and partner for it. 

ErtugalMaxwell
ErtugalMaxwell


Wow!!!!  what an experience! dr.marnish is a wonderful spell caster, he has made my life complete again by helping me cast a spell to return my girlfriend and also make her to be faithful to me again. I was skeptical at first, but what a believer I am now, his spell really worked! my lover is now faithful to me, if you are also seeking for help to get your lover back? Call +15036626930  or email dr.marnish
Ertugal maxwell

Teresa
Teresa

@seriusxyz Humor....humor is good!

Buzzcat2
Buzzcat2

I agree. If children don't see confrontation then when they are on their own they may wonder what is wrong when they experience confrontation with their own spouse/significant other.

Foxtrot
Foxtrot

@Mel Sue Goo Children are smart, when they grow up and have relationships of their own they will come to understand that no relationship is perfect. When his 15 year old son comes storming into the house angry because of a fight with his girlfriend he could sit him down on the couch and explain how 'even mom and dad aren't perfect, but experience has taught him to stand up, brush the dust off, and move on in the direction of a solution to the problem that caused the fight'. Fighting in front of your kids scares them the yelling and the negative words and the hateful vibe that comes from it..., plus it's worth noting that if you fight spontaneously about things in front of your kids your likely to let it spiral from there.... fighting in front of other family ... then in front of friends ... who knows? It's awkward for adults, it's frightening for children. The long and the short of it is that their are some things that kids can wait to find out ... things like financial issues, health concerns until they are confirmed, and their parents marital issues are a few of those things... at least until the kids are old enough. 

SpencerF
SpencerF

@Mel Sue Goo   I hate to just be negative and nay-say, but you are very, very wrong here. You should always avoid ideas where you expose children to negative things so that they are more prepared for them later. Swearing at your kids doesn't make them ready to be swore at, treating them with no respect does not help them cope with feeling lack of respect as adults, and belittling them does not make them impervious or better at handling belittling. Fighting in front of them will certainly not help them fight better or be ready to fight later. Foxtrot is correct, the negativity can only create negativity. Do. Not. Fight. In. Front. Of. Your. Kids.

The Grammar Nazi
The Grammar Nazi

@RickyLarson  "Cray" is not a proper word of the English language and its use immediately lowers any credibility you may have otherwise had and every one else's perception of your intelligence. It takes ONE MORE LETTER to properly type "crazy" and I hope that in the future you will learn to do so. Signed: A grammar nazi with a profound hatred for "textanese". :) 

Renee
Renee

@mmschwab  It has occurred to me. And I make no assumptions when it comes to marriage and divorce. I am going on what is posted above, and the lighthearted nature of the picture above, and the name of this post. I do take a marriage vow very seriously. I am not tearing this gentleman down. However, when I read posts of men who have learned lessons about their marriage after they divorce, my thought is why not restore what is broken? Why just move on? And that takes a massive amount of humility, that frankly, our culture doesn't tend to embrace. Restore a broken marriage? What's that? Just move on and try again. I disagree with this. 

Teresa
Teresa

@Foxtrot I think it depends on how you do it. There's a difference between a fight and just not agreeing on something. Modeling good problem solving skills in front of them is useful and educational...but if you can't discuss your disagreements in a healthy manner, then no, don't do it in front of the kids.

Buzzcat2
Buzzcat2

I think you can disagree in front of your kids. It's silly to hide all confrontation from your children.

SpencerF
SpencerF

And just to add, I agree about letting them see you make-up, they just don't need to hear the words you said that deserve an apology in my opinion.

dani
dani

@The Grammar Nazi Yes, you are a troll. Also, on behalf of all the actual grammar nerds out there, "everyone" is one word, you're missing a few commas, and periods belong inside quotation marks.

Starby
Starby

You know, if you had gotten off your crazy high grammar horse for a second, you would have maybe noticed that he was responding to a ridiculous, and barely understandable spam comment with an equally ridiculous reply. Do you actually go around to blogs and try to be a troll because honestly that is just a sign you need to get a life!

Oh, and by the way, your credibility went out the window when you used the word "textanese."

blondymk
blondymk

@Renee @mmschwab  Ok Renee.  I would like to say that maybe the women have decided they don't want him back.  We don't know what his marriages were like we don't live in their house.  I do know from my own experience though.  I was married and left my husband because he was an alcoholic and verbally abusive.  When I left he quit drinking.  However the damage was done and in most cases if the woman goes back things go back to being the way they were.  I was not going to do that to myself or my daughter again.  So I don't think he is making light of the situation I think he is trying to help other people not make the same mistakes he made.  Hopefully he has learned his lesson and follows his own advice if he is blessed to have another partner in his life.  Divorce is always hard for everyone but mostly the kids.  If he has learned from his mistakes then maybe he and his exes and his children will benefit from it and get along better for it now.