Almost two weeks ago, I told you all about my family’s tradition of going around the room and having everyone give their best marriage advice to the bride and groom on the eve of their wedding.

While sitting in that circle on the night before my sister’s nuptials, I felt so valueless having been divorced not just once but twice. Not a lick of what I had was good marriage advice. No. Everything I had was “how not to botch your marriage like I did” advice, which was something I had plenty of. They were the “don’t dos” instead of the “do dos.” (Yes, I heard it the second I typed it). They were my regrets, and not my successes. And I didn’t really feel like anyone in that room would want to hear them.

So, after an awesomely failed joke and an evening of feeling like the biggest turd on earth, I sat down for a few hours and wrote my own advice list to my sister (and probably even more so for myself). I shared the first half of it with you in my “16 Ways I Blew My Marriage” post a couple weeks ago. The list had gotten much longer than I planned, so I chopped it in half. Today, I wanted to share the other 15 things that were on my list. I hope that’s okay.

I never, not even once, thought that post would be popular. When it went crazy viral, I couldn’t help but wonder why. I’m still wondering why, if I’m being honest. After all, it’s the advice from a guy who blew it, not a guy who knows what he’s doing. My failure at marriage is one of the things I am most insecure about. I sat down and wrote the list in insecurity. It was shared in insecurity. It’s a list of things I’ll forever be working on, none of which I’ve mastered.

And maybe in the end, that is the “why.” I don’t know. I’d love your opinion on it.

That being said, I’m so thankful that so many people found value in it and shared it. If you haven’t read the first half of the list yet, you can find it here. I also hope the rest of my list has value as well. It may be better to read while cranking up Gotye’s Somebody that I used to Know.

advertisement

Anyways… with that, I give you:

The OTHER 15 Ways I Blew My Marriage
(continued from previous blog post) 

17. DON’T STOP BRINGING HER FLOWERS.
When I was wooing her, I made it a point to show up with flowers. And not just for special occasions. I’d have them delivered. I’d drop some at her door and run. I’d have them if I was just showing up for a movie on her couch. I brought her flowers from day one to day married. And then after we said I do, I stopped. Flowers became an unnecessary expense and were only worth splurging on for really special occasions like anniversaries or Valentine’s day. And sadly not always on those days, either.
IF I COULD HAVE A DO-OVER: I might get her flowers on those special occasions, but I’d make it a point to get her flowers often enough that she never wondered what I’d done wrong when I did. I’d understand that the most meaningful flowers were the ones given with no reason but to give them.
BONUS! it’s hard to hold grudges for the other stupid things you do when there are fresh flowers reminding her that you’re a good guy most of the time.
18. DON’T WORK SO MUCH THAT YOU DON’T WANT SEX.
This may be a little too much information, but when I was married, I would sometimes be so in need of sex, yet I would work so hard and so late into the night that even when sex was an option, I would turn it down in favor of crashing and decompressing. This of course would make her feel rejected because she knew that I wanted it, but couldn’t figure out why I didn’t want it from her.
IF I COULD HAVE A DO-OVER: I’d set a bed time for myself and wake up earlier to get my work done if needed. I’d remind myself that no amount of money is ever enough when you’re a workaholic. And I’d not give up the boonda boonda with my wife to make a few extra unneeded bucks.
BONUS! you don’t have to go to the gym as often because the gym comes to your bedroom.

19. DON’T PUT HER DOWN TO OTHERS.
It always seemed that the more bla our marriage got, the more I would (usually jokingly) put her down to others. What’s worse is that I’d do it while she was standing there as much as I would when she wasn’t. I made sure that she knew that her faults and her weaknesses were never going to be secret and then if she’d get mad about it, I’d throw it back on her and tell her she needed to develop a sense of humor.
IF I COULD HAVE A DO-OVER: I’d realize that there’s nothing motivating about being put down. Building people up can still be done in awesomely joking ways.
BONUS! she probably wants a good guy as part of her foundation. Building her up makes sure that her foundation is with you and not Billy Bob over there.
20. DON’T BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE WITH HER.
Always claiming I was the saint, I would refuse to talk about what was bothering me, I’d refuse to discuss when things hurt me, and I’d refuse to admit that anything was wrong. Instead, I’d be passive aggressive about things. I’d pretend to take the high road. “It’s not worth the contention to me, just have it your way,” I’d blurt out. Let’s not kid ourselves. I said that to make her feel like a bully and to push her into giving me my way. It rarely worked. All it ever did was make her feel worse about herself and about me, and neither one of us would get what we needed.
IF I COULD HAVE A DO-OVER: I’d tell her how things were actually affecting me, and I’d learn to genuinely want her to have her way sometimes, or I’d learn to agree to disagree, or I’d learn to take a break from the conversation. I’d also ask her to point out when I was being passive aggressive so that I could rephrase things in a productive way.
BONUS! when you tell her what you actually want or need, sometimes you get it. Fancy that.
1 2 3 Next
Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with nearly half a million daily subscribers as of 2015. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!
advertisement
1809 comments
whyme
whyme

My Husband and I have been having the same issues for years. I was the only one fighting for our marriage though. Its like he had given up and thrown in the towel from the day we said "I Do." As much as I wish he would have changed, and as many times we sat down and I told him I wanted a divorce if things didn't change, he never acted like I was worth it. Divorce is scary, and I'm not looking forward to the fight ahead of me, but I hope one day I find someone who thinks I'm worth it. Thank you for this. It hurt to read, but I'm happy you had the courage to write it.

RoxanaAMacdougall
RoxanaAMacdougall

til I saw the draft 4 $4138 , I be certain that my cousin actually making money in there spare time at there computar. . there brothers friend haz done this for only fourteen months and recently paid for the morgage on their home and purchased a top of the range Lexus LS400 . visit here 


>>>>>>>>>>>>>➜➜➜➜➜➜ http://s87.eu/CareerCenter2015


✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔

debla977
debla977

My name is Debora Larry P, I am a single Mom, the father of my child left me two years ago and married his childhood girlfriend because of his mother’s influence and his mother never liked anything about me. I gave up on him and took my child away from his family then relocate to another state just to forget about him and start a new life. My new life was actually not going as I planned but I keep on struggling to cope and take care of my baby. I miraculously met a man who was staying five blocks away; he loved me and promised to provide for me and my child. We dated for three years before he asked me to marry him last December, I agreed because I found real love and peace with him and my son can’t stay without him. 


He suddenly started active weird after our engagement party like and evil spirit is controlling him, he always starts argument and fight in presence of my son and asked me for a break which I gave but something inside me tells me that he needs help and he will never come back to me if nothing is done either physically or spiritually to help him go back to himself. So I searched for help everywhere until I met Dr.Wakina temple via email [email protected] Doctor did the reading and discovered pure love among us and a confused spirit surrounding us too. He finally cast a reunion spell on us and brought him back at the exact time he stated this February. 


My husband to be is back and he thanks Dr. Wakina for the spell that made him realize his true love and his wife. I thank Doctor too and will recommend him to anybody who needs help to contact him via [email protected] Thanks for everything Doctor.

ronrichardcole
ronrichardcole

My name is Ashley from Trinidad and Tobago my lover dumped me for another woman i was hopeless until i contacted priest omigodo for help he brought back my lover in just 24 hours contact priest omigodo via email: [email protected] or call the great priest omigodo on +248079367204

frances
frances

This is so very accurate and many are appropriate for either gender. I think it's great advice too a new couple. Anticipating my divorce this list maybe twenty years ago would have brought a different outcome.

h2hjmz
h2hjmz

great points about what goes wrong with, probably all, failed marriages.  hopefully these are really lessons learned, and changes we are actually willing to do...thanks for putting down what we all have cycling, and recycling through our brains.

RachelWilliamsgiordano
RachelWilliamsgiordano

My husband and I are on the brink of divorce and your 16/15ways I blew my marriage reminds me of the various fights we are currently having. Thank you for your humorous insight and I hope newly married couples will read both lists.

JW
JW

Really appreciate these observations.  I am newly married, but have been notorious for getting complacent in past relationships.  Thanks.  This rings a lot of bells, and are easy fixes if done before the damage has accumulated. 


You made me aware of some things I do, even without malicious intention.  This was very honest and meaningful. 

JenniferKenayi
JenniferKenayi

Hello, my name is Anna Anderson, the UK, I have never, until I called Dr. Musa Love temple magical experience, and for the love charm for me, my ex-husband, myself and our two children went to three years, I apologize for the pain he gave me, and today we live in a happy family when you arrive at a good solution to your problem need combined DR Musa is the right choice. It's a great man, charm has years of experience and his magic is very harmful free. formulated for different purposes such as:

(1) If you want to get your ex back.
(2) if you still have nightmares.
(3) To be supported in his office.
(4) you want women / men after conversion.
(5) For a child.
(6) [to be rich.
(7) to be his / her spouse, bind you forever.
(8) If you need financial help.
(9) Herbal Care

Contact him today: [email protected]

best regards,
Anna Anderson.

lins
lins

Your botch ups work both ways. As I was reading I could see that I am still making the same mistakes....made me stop and think.....I'm on marriage 2 and don't want it to be divorce 2 lol......gonna take your advice wholeheartedly....and I totally agree about your sex theory.....and that's coming form a woman :)

Maya2015
Maya2015

Officially divorced as of last year...reading this article brought tears to my eyes because all of these were missing.  The hardest part being married almost 20 years I could not get him to walk in the park with me and hold my hand.  Thank you for being honest we all learn from out past experiences.  Thank you.

Isa
Isa

This is a really, really nice post.

I am in a successful marriage and I believe it is all because of my husband. He has understood what all your points basically boil down to, which is "treat your spouse the way you want them to treat you" and "your spouse will treat you the way you treat them" (of course, that would work for anybody, but it is even more the case in a marriage, since the person is always in your face!).


I feel so blessed I have found my hubby and he taught me that. And I am so happy to see he is not the only one who has understood it!

GraceMarie1
GraceMarie1

When I eventually found testimonies about this spell caster prophet.chasus, how he helped many people to get their lover back, i contacted him through his email address [email protected] because I was absolutely desperate to get my husband back. Life without my husband was a real mess for me and my children. i wanted a dramatic change and I thought magic could be the solution. After discussing the resolution with prophet.chasus, he gave me hope that he will restore my marriage. I felt confident that he will actually make my husband to return home and he did It’s fantastic what prophet.chasus have done for me. his help is priceless! I don't know what I would have done without he, does his job so well he is organized and highly functional, i believe he is the best spell caster i can count on him when it comes to love spell, I was floored that his spells worked Thanks!
Marie.

M
M

Thank you for sharing your personal experiences in marriage here. I find myself agreeing with nearly every one of your points and wish my husband would learn those things before our relationship falls apart; largely because of how you messed up your marriages. I think people find comfort in you posts because they know they are not alone in how they are feeling and what they are experiencing in their marriages. Thanks again and best of luck to you!

FatimaObeys
FatimaObeys

I want to use this opportunity to thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man Dr ZUMA ZUK who brought my husband back to me, i had 2 lovely kids for my husband, about 3 years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows an Ad pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i shouldn't worry about it at all so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man phone number and his email address. i was doubting if this man was the solution, so contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i deed them all, he told me to wait for just two day and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully deed what this great man asked me to do and for sure after two days i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away,since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy.that's why i want to say a big thank you to Dr ZUMA ZUK This great man made me to understand that theirs no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. you can email [email protected]

LydiaEMill2
LydiaEMill2

After being in relationship with him for 3 years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is [email protected] you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem.

FaithHenry
FaithHenry

I never knew people still have powers and make things happened this way. My name is Faith Henry am from American. my boyfriend Slay Scot left me for another girl for three months’ ever since then my life have been filled with pains sorrow and heart break because he was my first love who dis virgin me when i was 21 years old. about two years ago, A friend of mine called Bella told me he saw some testimonies of this great Dr AGBAGIE that he can bring back lover within some few days, i laugh it out and said i am not interested but because of the love my friend had for me, she consulted the great priest on my behalf and to my greatest surprise after three days my boyfriend called me for the very first time after three months that he is missing me and that he is so sorry for every thing he made me went through. i still can’t believe it, because it highly unbelievable it just too real to be real. Thank you Dr AGBAGIE for bringing back my lover and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf, for any one who might need the help of this great priest here is the email address:([email protected]) or you can call the great man on (+2348052849204)

guest
guest

Great advice - I probably need to think about what I am doing wrong that isn't working for my husband after reading this.  Do you think though that it wasn't so one sided?  That maybe she wasn't doing things that you needed too?  Maybe we could get her take on what happened.  I am currently working on my list for my husband so that I can be a better wife.  Thank you for the help!

tessa
tessa

One other comment I would like to make for the women.  If your husband is a football fanatic, find ways to not label yourself as a football widow.  I personally like football, but only when I have family playing.  I do have a cousin on the Texans but he's injured and I've always been a Cardinals fan, even if I didn't care about another team.  My husband plays fantasy football every year and a grandson does too.  Last year our grandson pretty much ignored his team so I took it over in an attempt not to lose the fee to play.  lol  I became hooked.  I researched fantasy football up and down, learned how football is played, what the refs call or should have (have not) called, the positions, which teams had the best defense, etc.  I didn't make the playoffs last year but I decided to play again this year too.  It's a great way for me to satisfy my competitive side and do something with my husband that he likes as well.


Bonus:  Evidently he finds nothing sexier on Thursday night, Sunday and Monday night than his wife fighting for control of the remote because her QB / receiver combination is playing at the same time his insignificant kicker is playing.  The fact that I now comment on fantastic throws and catches (my man Fitz) is a real turn on as opposed to my laughing at players who run into one another, trip one another, have pants too tight, cool shoes, cute gloves, etc.  Combine all that with healthy snacks and a nice dinner and the night belongs to me (after the games that is).  ;-)

AshleeTompkins
AshleeTompkins

I definitely disagree with the "I'll probably never get a date now" bit. The ability to admit and learn from all this 'dirty marriage laundry' is an attractive quality. I feel like this should be a reason that you'd get more dates. The only mistakes you should ever be ashamed of or embarrassed about are the ones you haven't learned from and genuinely attempted to improve upon.

Rose
Rose

Thank you for your honesty in writing this list. It is great advice.


As far as flowers go, unless you’re in the city, you don’t always have to buy them. You can pick your own.  I remember a time that I was having a really bad day. On my way home, I saw a man on the side of the road carefully picking wildflowers. I don’t know who they were for, but it brought tears to my eyes.  I was thinking what a lucky person was going to receive those flowers.  Even though they weren’t for me, I felt the love being put in them and felt better. 

Another advice:  Don’t blame your spouse for hurt that he/she didn’t put there.  When you make the decision to remarry, also make the decision to fight with your own inner baggage. Yes, you can honestly discuss it with your new spouse so you can work through it together.  However, NEVER “take it out” on them.
The bonus:  Keeping it to yourself won’t give unnecessary pain in your current marriage and won’t put the power of your happiness in the hands of the person who previously hurt you.
Additional bonus:  Working through it honestly, positively and together with your new spouse may bring you that much closer to each other.

StaceyXavi
StaceyXavi

It was a complete sudden stop in my life when my relationship with my lover came to a verge of breakup  point without any reason and he said that he has fallen for someone else, it was Dr. Eziza who helped me get back my lover with a love spell and now we are happily married, thanks a lot Dr. Eziza. If you need his help to restore your relationship back, you can contact him via [email protected] +2348058176289

Anna
Anna

I have sent thins link to my boyfriend whom I have been arguing with a lot lately, so I genuinely hope he will read and acknowledge this.

Anna
Anna

This is just awesome!

RachaelJeeninga
RachaelJeeninga

Being passive-aggressive never works. I try really hard to never be, but my ex was all the time. He's mad? Silent treatment. Less affection. Little snide comments when he finally did talk.

And don't every jokingly be condescending or dismissive of someone's feelings. If they're hurt, and, or happy about something, it doesn't matter how irrelevant that thing is, don't show it. Soon they'll think none of their feelings matter at all. And even be afraid to talk about them.

Don't let minor things make or break you. Don't let pent up anger and frustration cloud your feelings. You fell in love for a reason, just because you're only focusing on the negative things, doesn't mean the love isn't there. Never let yourself forget you love them. Or they'll forget, too.

Liz
Liz

I hope there are at least a few men who will read this and actually pay attention.  Every single thing on your list applies to my own marriage ending.  Especially the airing every fault he thought I had (while he was perfect) to the world. And the sarcasm never stopped.

I also hope that you take what you learned and find a woman you will treat the way you suggested.

FatimaObeys
FatimaObeys

I want to use this opportunity to thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man Dr ZUMA ZUK who brought my husband back to me, i had 2 lovely kids for my husband, about 3 years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows an Ad pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i shouldn't worry about it at all so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man phone number and his email address. i was doubting if this man was the solution, so contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i deed them all, he told me to wait for just two day and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully deed what this great man asked me to do and for sure after two days i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away,since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy.that's why i want to say a big thank you to Dr ZUMA ZUK This great man made me to understand that theirs no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. you can email [email protected]

AmandaGreenhead
AmandaGreenhead

hello dan,


thanks for sharing. i enjoyed the frank and honest bits of your wisdom, and i agreed with all of them. 

Jan was here
Jan was here

Hello Dan,  I read both blogs of why your marriages ended.  I too have been married twice and I know why I left both.  For the exact reasons you have mentioned in these blogs.  Perhaps someday soon I will write my own response to each of these.  I have already done a lot of soul searching of where I went wrong with my own actions in my marriages.  I think it would be a good exercise for me to compare and match them to another Man's perspective as well.


The reasons I shared your blogs is because it resonated with me in a very profound way, beyond the topics covered.  For me you humbled yourself and shared your vulnerabilities.  One of the key Characteristics I look for (I have 8 of them) in a potential partner is Authenticity:  I usually listen to the tone of their voice when they talk about the things, events and people in their life.  How willing and open is he at expressing his vulnerabilities.  (weakness is not the same a vulnerability) In the midst of his confidence, strength, drive, and sense of purpose is still okay with himself to admit his flaws or fears.  He has learned from his mistakes and admits to them honestly.

~Cheers my friend, and thank you!

 _____________________________

In case any single amigos out there is curious of read my 8 Characteristics of a High Quality Man:

1)  Honorable:  Does he stand for a higher purpose than himself?  He should be enlarged by some sense of purpose and service in this world, not fulfilling his ego.  (i.e family, friends, community, world)  A true man is in touch with his heroic core.

2)  Authentic:  I usually listen to the tone of their voice when they talk about the things, events and people in their life.  How willing and open is he at expressing his vulnerabilities.  (weakness is not the same a vulnerability) In the midst of his confidence, strength, drive, and sense of purpose is still okay with himself to admit his flaws or fears.  He has learned from his mistakes and admits to them honestly.

3) Excitement:  Is he positive and excited about the momentum he is generating in his life?  Does he identify himself with the positive/happy things or elements in his life?

4)  Financial Responsibility:  Can he pay his own bills first of all?  Does he save and invest?  Beware of shows of extravagance.  Granted he should enjoy the fruits of his labor, but does he stake his identity on those things?  Does he have a steady source of income (there are many ways to create income these days)?  If he's learning a new trade or skill and is committed to it - Great!!  This shows he is on a path for self-improvement.  Believe it or not, you want a man who spends in moderation...guess what ladies this means you DO NOT want a man that will spend lavishly on you.  Sorry forget the diamonds and jewels. He works hard, is careful, respects hard work, and is NOT a show off.  Bottom line – it is NOT how fat his wallet is, it IS his CHARACTER.  He could live in a Refrigerator box, and be the man for you.  He just needs to be able to afford the necessities of living in his box.  LOL

5)  Sensually Alive:  ahhh, My favorite…you really need to cut men a little slack here, because all they know is sex, sex, sex.  However, he should ALREADY be open to sensual pleasures.  (i.e talk about their “love” of well prepared food, cooking, wine, working with their hands, etc.)  He should be able to describe the “feel” of the kind of woman he desires.  Remember if he is open to the pleasures of senses (sight, smell, taste, touch, sound) he’s probably going to be a more satisfying lover for you. He will be more attentive to giving and receiving pleasure. ;)  LISTEN to a man who is PASSIONATE about the world he lives in.

6)  Man/Women Dynamics:  You want someone that is curious and open to learning about man/woman dynamics.  Does he find the masculine feminine dance to be an interesting, happy challenge or an annoyance?  You can tell a LOT from how he details what he wants and what he is prepared to give and behave- not what he expects from YOU.  Plus he is AUTHENTIC about it. Remember:  Life is about loving, learning, and seeing things beyond our own perspective.  :D

7)  Interested in You:  Come on let’s face it…he has to be curious and interested in you.  He should be asking questions that demonstrate a genuine interest in your character, and your uniqueness-YOU.  You want a man who sees your uniqueness and holds you special.  The key to knowing he is genuine is if he remembers things you have said.  Pay attention to what he notices about you, what he adores about you, and what he compliments about you.  If he takes in the special details of your inner world and then delivers on your needs or desires….all the better.  :D

8)  Love:  Perhaps the most important is that he is driven by expanding love, not fear.  His conversation and life is suggestive with all the things he LOVES: people, pets, experiences. (i.e what he loves about women (especially you), his family, friends, job, etc.)  If he pits himself against the world and lives in fear, you will never get close to him, no matter how close you may seem to get.  You will always be part of the outside world. 

Lastly, he may have all 7 characteristics of a High Quality Man, but if he does not have love or is not ready for love you will not change that so you have to move on.  If he says he is not looking for a relationship or is not ready for a serious one…he is NOT ready.  Sorry.  There are a lot of great guys out there who just don’t want or are not ready for a relationship.  Keep them close to your hearts and be their friend.  Find another soul to be your hero!

LiberataCarey
LiberataCarey

I read this and the previous post on the 16 ways too and I must say Dan, life has surely given you awesome lessons and the your reflection on those lessons are so beautifully expressed through your words. I specially loved and seen your side of the truth in your blog "You just broke your child." 

It rung so true to the experiences little children have and specially, the one I too had with my dad as a child. Thank you for taking time to reach out through your words of wisdom.

Keep up the great work of love.


Regards,


Liberata Carey


TaraOtis
TaraOtis

Actually made me cry...going through this now. Seems these are quite common truths so many of us live through, some learning from and others not so much....

Thank you:)

AshleyMOlszewskiIvory
AshleyMOlszewskiIvory

I completely respect you breaking down your own personal do's and dont's of marriage. As a wife I have to say your do-overs are all I've ever wanted to see from my husband. Granted trying to follow those rules day in and day out within the chaos of daily life is difficult! I think we work under the common misconception that if you are with the right person that marriage should take no work at all. So NOT TRUE! After reading this I've decided to ditch classes today and go golfing with my husband one last time this season! Thanks for the advice! 



-AOI

DanaMorgan
DanaMorgan

Dan -- Thanks for your honesty with these.  I wish my soon-to-be-ex had seen them before emotional neglect turned to emotional and verbal abuse.  Much sadness here -- and much recognition of the truths in your writings.  (The workaholic side was me -- avoidance of the non-conflict.  I'm not perfect either.)  Keep on speaking your truths!  Even when I don't agree with you, they always provide me food for thought.  All the best -- Dana


PS to all the spellmongers out there -- get a real job!!  Sheesh. 

20something
20something

If this is how guys really think then I NEVER want to get married.

RachaelWisner
RachaelWisner

I think your advice is on point and I will have to keep these things in mind, I've only been married almost two months now and things are still great but reading your list will help keep things in perspective, I'm sure lesbians have these same exact issues. Thank you.

slimcolvin1
slimcolvin1

I was a HIV-AIDS patient and I got it from cheating on my husband. It was sort of a payback but a week later I was told by a friend that the person who I cheated with had the HIV-AIDS virus and did not tell me. I was so stupid by not using a condom I thought since he was an old school friend he
was trustworthy. But I was wrong. I cried and cried. Two days later, I got a phone call from my friend and she told me about a person who is known by another friend, who can help me. I could not let my husband know what I was going through. I finally got his email address: [email protected] and I text this man my story and he replied me immediately saying i should be calm and told me that everything will be OK.I could not come to terms with what I was hearing but then I concluded it did not matter because I was so broken up I just needed help. I was going out of my mind literally. I was confused with what he was telling me, but I listened. He told me about some materials i need to buy that he needed to cast the spell and I said OK. I bought the materials to him, I sent down my picture to him and my positive result sheet and he replied me that i am going to be negative under 3days.I message Him every 2hours for 2day and I knew he thought that I was crazy but I did care I needed a shoulder. Behold, the third day he messaged me i should go for a test that i will be negative. My marriage could be broken
because of a stupid mistake and my life was on the line. I remembered when I was going to get the results of my re-test I called him up again and told him that I was going to get my results today and his reply was “so" and that everything will be as he explained. I knew then that he was getting tired of me calling him, maybe I was wrong. Well I got my results and the first person I
called up was him - again. As he said hello I started to cry and cry. I could not believe it. I was given a second chance in life.This man is a great spiritual HIV/AIDS healer,his healing spell on aids healing is very powerful .please brothers and sister, contact Dr Zuma zuk [email protected]

DoSomethingRight
DoSomethingRight

@slimcolvin1 SHAMEFUL.  Telling HIV/AIDS patients to continue to lie to sexual partners (instead of IMMEDIATELY INFORMING) about being HIV/AIDS Positive can end up with the partners becoming infected, all while you run about trying to cover your tracks with spells and magic.  Own up to your mistakes and go get proper medical treatment and get all other sexual partners TESTED IMMEDIATELY.

Noturniptruck
Noturniptruck

@DoSomethingRight @slimcolvin1 

Um.....this is spam. The email addy  and name mentioned in the OP is the same one recommended in another earlier response detailing a completely different calamity.

Btru71
Btru71

I was married 13 years then divorced 7, now we are back together. My husband had to learn the hard way also. He started off wonderful then he turned into Lucifer. LOL! I don't know what happened he assumed everything was about him. The world revolved around his moods! Everything on your list he now does... its crazy! Even the hand holding!!! Not only would he not close the bathroom door, he would ruin my morning shower...EVERY MORNING!!! LOL

NoraLotte
NoraLotte

My name is Nora Lotte and my husband of a year walked out on me about two and a half months ago and now we are going through a horrible painful divorce. i am not sure WHY he walked out. I am just s0 scared that he and i will never be together again. And what’s worse i am afraid that he will find someone else and I just CAN’T handle that. so i go online for help on how i can get him back. thanks to DR OBOM with the help of this great man i was able to get my husband back for good. you can reach him on [email protected]

DariaReinhartame
DariaReinhartame

My name is Daria Reinhartame, am from usa. i want to use this opportunity to thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man DR.AISABU brought my husband back to me, i had three lovely kids for my husband, about four years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i should not worry about it at all, so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man email address. i was doubting if this man was the solution, so i contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i deed them all, he told me to wait for just two day and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully deed what this great man asked me to do and for sure after two days i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away,since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy.that's why i want to say a big thank you to DR.AISABU. This great man made me to understand that there is no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. you can email him at: ([email protected])...

LauraBenson
LauraBenson


my husband was always cheating on me and even spends nights out. sometimes he even leave for the entire week end, pretending that he has work, but i know he just go meet women, my life was lame until, i asked [email protected] to cast a spell for me. so that my husband can be a good man and  after his spell, my husband changed automatically, he now spends much more time with me and the kids and we're a family again

LydiaEMill1
LydiaEMill1

After being in relationship with him for 3 years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is [email protected] you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem.

MattRussell1
MattRussell1

I read your first last on this topic a long time ago and was looking for it to share with my little brother who is about to take his own vows soon. I was so happy to find this as well. Very good advice and very fun to read. Thank you so much! This article as who as the last should be weekly required reading for us married men.

LauraBenson
LauraBenson

thanks to my great father who help me get pregnant this man is really a great man he is great and powerful he made me who i am today i cried to him and told him my problem i never believe he can help me i only give him a try that is how i got pregnant with the help of this great man the great Dr Lawrence he is really powerful you can contact him for any kind of problem i believe he has the power to help you i so much trust in him you can contact him on his direct email [email protected]

EllynArkwright
EllynArkwright

Have never believed in the supernatural or talk less of spell or even voodoo. In my head there was nothing on earth that was ever going to get me involved in such thing but life as we know throw s**t at your door and some how the doors opens up and let it strike you. ************* About five years ago if anyone had asked me if i trust my twin sister with my life, believe me i would bet my life on it that i can. I couldn’t even bring myself to think that my twin sister can put a knife at my back Yes i know everything about our childhood and youth age was always about who is better that who in everything and frankly i was better that me in academic aspect of life. I was smarter more skilled that her but this ought to be no reason to want to have every guy that was dating me or should it? cos the last i checked twin protect themselves not try and hurt the other. That was what my twin sister is all about. Even though we looked identical she was cuter than i was. She had her way around boys more that i did. Like she knew how to get what she want in whatever way she wanted it from both boys and girls. I don’t know, she had a way or rather she was good at messing around with peoples brain not like in a psychic way, it was more like all about her body. In other words you can say she was very sexy, attractive and hard to resist. I have always had to work very had to get what i want but she, things just falls in her lap without having to labor for it. She falls for every guy she knows i like. I mean every guy i dated in high school broke up with me to date her and it was really hurtful for me. I thought it was just high school and boys cos in college it wasn’t like that and for the first time in forever, not that i thought but the comparison between us over. Some how the old life we had arose again this time it happen that the guy my sister fell for, fell for me and i fell for him also i made sure it was okay with her before i went on the first date with him. I don’t want this to seem like a story so i will just cut to the chase. My twin sister was having an affair with my long time boyfriend the every guy one we both fell for but picked me. I mean i only found out the day he told me was no longer want to be with me that he was in love with my twin sister and he has been cheating on me with her. This was after four year of dating. I was heart broken and i wished to God that he had told me he was sleeping with me and my twin sister when our relationship was still young i would have like always, backed down and let them bask in what ever they think they were doing. But no they waited and in the process i fell deeply in love with him. I mean who wouldn’t fall for him he was cute caring and always knew what to say at the right time. I know i ought to have been mad at him for what he did but i was more mad at my sister for what she did cos i mean if she had turned him down he would have left her on her own and she was not even sorry for what she did to me. she became my twin sister in high school all again wanting to hurt and ruin my life steal the man i love. Heaven knew i was in love with this guy and hating him was not even an option for me all the hatred was channeled to my twin sister cos some how she made him hers. I lived in pain for a whole year having to see her face every family thanksgiving day with the man i love sitting side by side kissing him and hugging maybe to piss me off or something it only made me hate her more and more desperate to get my boyfriend back. I got him back finally yes i did, but i can fail to say i did not use the normal way. Metodo Acamu help me cast a spell to kill their relationship and rekindle ours to how we were before they started their affair. In case you asking asking yourself how possible it is believe me i don’t know and won’t tell you i understand cos like i said i never in my life thought it would result to me using a spell or something but there is one thing i know is that the spell worked for me and made my love fall in love with me again. There not much i can say to emphasize how the spell worked all i know is that i was asked to get some materials for the spell of which i was to buy and go present the materials myself to Metodo Acamu or send over or send the expenditure to him to get the materials need for the spell. To me it was less expensive to wire the cash to him to get the materials cos they are the expert in it. But i know in the end METODO ACAMU pulled through with the spell and made me whole again. Like honestly my main purpose for writing this was to let those out there know that other comment about METODO on the internet is really cos here i am tell you my story it can get anymore real than it is already. I can never forgive my twin sister even though i have got my love back. Use this email address as METODO ACAMU contact {metodoacamufortress @ yahoo. com} note, do not space this email address when contacting him........

Angela F
Angela F

So... believe it or not, I found your original post on Pinterest of all places, and just had to click through to see if a guy was actually going to have the balls to list the things he did wrong in his marriage.  I hope by now that you realize one of the reasons I suspect this "thing" has gone viral is because it is so incredibly rare to see anyone post (male or female) how their own shortcomings were at the root of a failed relationship!  Being a divorced woman, just knowing there is A GUY out there who'd do such a thing is (1) enlightening (2) a little ray of sunshine ;)  Kudos.  As Maya Angelou said "When we know better, we do better."  Something tells me your little foray into wearing your heart on your sleeve for all the world to see will be an asset, not a liability in the future relationship department.  Probably makes you not too shabby in the Dad dept. too!  I wish you all the best, wherever your journey takes you.

wiznaght peter
wiznaght peter

Love can be very tricky, and does not always work out how we would like it to. This can cause us heartbreak and uncertainty in our personal lives. However, now we are able to alter our relationship, or the relationship of a loved one with the assistance of Love Spells. I have tried it and it worked perfectly well for me, i wont want to share my story for reasons best known to me. I got my spell cast at lord mazula SPELL TEMPLE. His Spells cover most aspects of Love. If you want a spell in any aspect of you love life, here is were you can contact him [email protected]

JulietJose
JulietJose

All praises goes to Dr. Wakina for restoring one of the most important things in my life which is “LOVE”. I got back my sexy queen from my jealous friend after forcing her to breakup with me. We have loved each other and sharing romantic moments for two years before she started acting strange and stop seeing me, she stopped replying my text and don’t receive my calls or call me anymore. I was so angry with myself because I couldn’t love another girl and I know very well that she was forcefully taken away from me because I started seeing her with my friend.


I got inspired by messages people write about Dr. Wakina in a local magazine and on internet too, I was afraid to contact him because I do only woman and I haven’t read of my of case. I decided to try because I have the right to love anybody, it’s my life. Thanks to Dr. Wakina who assured me and gave me confidence, he consulted his Oracle and brought her back to me within four days. No wonder people keep talking good about him, this man is so powerful, and he saw that she is my soul mate.


I have fulfilled my promise to write my own testimony and tell people about him and his Oracle how there are giving people joy and happiness. Make sure you participate and win back your love. Email him: [email protected]

JoyPhilip1
JoyPhilip1

During my search on the internet on how i can solve my relationship issue i came across article about Dr. EKPEN TEMPLE, Through Which my broken relationship with my ex lover was restored. I'm Jessy by name and my lover has left me for many years before i came in contact with Dr. EKPEN TEMPLE. After contacting Dr. EKPEN TEMPLE i narrated my story to him and Dr. EKPEN TEMPLE promised to help me get my lover back and i am telling you right now that my lover came back to me within 48 hours that Dr. EKPEN TEMPLE has cast the spell on him. Trust me the fastest way to restore your broken relationship is through Dr. EKPEN TEMPLE and you can contact him via mobile +2347050270218 or email at [email protected] And for further proof of what i have just said then you can search on his name on the internet to see more about him.