Things You Should Never Say to Someone Who’s Single
Well, once again I asked you for some awesome material for a blog post, and you delivered! The question I put on the Facebook Wall for today’s post was, “What are the things people say to single people that are rude or ignorant?” A lot of awesome answers came through. Enjoy (along with my own and some of your slightly snarky retorts).
- So, why are you single?
Ummm, maybe because I don’t shower and I hate puppies.
- Just have fun with it!
Thank you. You’ve just solved all my problems. I was purposefully NOT having fun with it.
- Have you tried online dating?
Match.com didn’t work so I guess my next move is Craigslist.
- It just wasn’t meant to be.
Thank you. I’ve been hoping to find somebody who knows the complete plans of the universe. So tell me, all knowing, who IS meant to be?
- It will happen when you least expect it.
How can I expect it less than never?
- There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Thank you for rubbing my nose in my inability to get any of them.
- You’re just too picky.
So, you’re saying I should settle?
- Are you kidding? I wish I was single and in your shoes.
- You’re so attractive! What seems to be the problem?
How do I answer this without making you or me look like a jerk?
- Maybe you’re not trying hard enough.
Oooooh. That must be it. I think what you’re really saying is that I’m not easy enough.
- He just hasn’t found you yet.
Oh, well, then I guess I’ll stop looking and wait for him to come to me!
- When are you going to get married?
When are you going to let me kick you in the teeth?
- There are so many great guys/girls out there.
So, are you saying that I’m not one of them since they’re so readily abundant and I’m still alone?
- You have such a pretty face, I bet if you lost weight you could find a man!
And I bet if you gained weight you’d be mistaken for a Manatee.
- I’m sorry.
For what? Making me feel like a piece of crap?
- You’ll be complete some day.
Yes, because I’m so incomplete now. Thank you.
- You’ll always be single until you fix yourself up.
Meaning… I have to be someone other than me?