I hesitate to talk too much about my latest adventures going to see a
shrink life coach. The more I do, the more absolutely messed up you’re all going to finally realize I am.
But… being absolutely messed up has done me well so far, hasn’t it? So why not talk about it once in a while. After all, just about everyone in the world is messed up, so maybe posts about my adventures in therapy will be the most normal posts of all.
I think for these posts, I’ll call my therapist Star. And I’ll call the *person* she’s talking to Dingo. Oh, and some other person who shows up in the story will be Stan. You know, so you don’t ever know who exactly it is that I’m talking about. Attorney client privilege and all that stuff.
Star: What do you mean?
Dingo: What do you mean what do I mean?
Star: What do you mean when you say that your life is like a pancake? What makes you feel that way?
Dingo: Well, I suppose there are lots of ways to look at it. A pancake has two sides, and one side is usually a little more cooked than the other. That’s me, I guess.
Star: What do you mean that’s you?
Dingo: What do you mean what do I mean? Do you mean what I think you mean?
Dingo: I mean…
Dingo: there are other ways I’m like a pancake. For example, I’m all gooey and runny at first, but once you add a little heat, I get all solid-like.
Dingo: Also, pancakes taste better with butter.
Dingo: Also, pancakes can be light and fluffy or they can be thick and dense.
Dingo: Also, pancakes don’t always like the same syrup on them. Sometimes they want maple. Sometimes butter flavored. Sometimes blueberry. You get what I’m saying?
Star: No, I understand everything you’re telling me about pancakes, I know what pancakes are, so tell me why you feel like your life is like pancakes.
Dingo: Also, sometimes pancakes taste better when there are lots of tiny ones instead of one or two giant ones.
Dingo: And if I had to guess, pancakes are the world’s #1 favorite breakfast food. They’re cheap, easy to make, and they’re so dang good.
Dingo: You get what I’m saying, right?
Star: <laughs> I have no idea. You’ll have to elaborate.
Dingo: It’s like this. This morning I woke up and I thought, I want pancakes. Then, I diddly dinked around all morning and ran out of time. Instead of eating, I came here. And now I’m still hungry for pancakes.
Star: Are you still making an analogy here?
Dingo: An analogy? I was never making an analogy. I just have been craving pancakes.
Star: You said your life is like a pancake while we were talking about your caveat with kissing.
Dingo: I’m just messing with you.
Star: <laughs> While it’s entertaining, I think you’re veering off course because you don’t want to talk about it. But it’s your session and your money.
Dingo: I think I get what you’re saying. Because this session is costing me money, and a lot of it, if I ever do get pancakes today they’re going to be the most expensive pancakes I ever ate.
Star: <shakes her head and sneers>
Dingo: Here’s the thing. I don’t actually know why my thing with kissing is like pancakes. I was hoping you could tell me that. It’s why I pay you the big bucks.
Star: Maybe we should come back to the kissing thing.
Dingo: Okay. But something tells me it’s like pancakes, so be thinking about it.
Star: <laughs> Okay. How did it go with Stan? Did you talk to him?
Dingo: Yes, but he didn’t really want to talk about it.
Star: Did he say he didn’t want to talk about it or did you feel like he didn’t want to talk about it?
Dingo: I’d say our conversation was like a frozen waffle.
When I get uncomfortable I joke a lot. Being my therapist is not without its challenges.
I’m pretty sure I actually do have good stuff going on when I make it to therapy. But right now, I’m craving pancakes even more than before, so I’m gonna go get me some flapjacks.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Anybody else up for some pancakes right now?