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Pulled from the Truth Box

After 21 years of self-destructive inner-battles, I finally admitted my biggest secret to myself and to the rest of the world. That day, and the day my son was born, were the two most incredible and wonderful days of my life.

Before sharing it, I was so convinced that I was alone in my fears and my experiences. I was certain that my secrets would be the end of me. I didn’t see anyone else struggling with the things for which I had hated myself for decades. After sharing it, person after person after person began coming to me in confidence, telling me that they had the exact same struggles; they had the exact same fears; they had the exact same worries.

Wondering how it was that so many people were experiencing the same thing, yet we all felt so alone in it, I asked you all to anonymously share a difficult secret that you’ve never told anyone. There were only two boxes to fill out on the form. “What everyone thinks is true,” and “What actually is true.” I called it The Truth Box.

I have received thousands and thousands of responses, and each week I will share 75 or so of them here.

The thing I love about these respones is that they make us feel a lot more human with our own truths. Some make us sad. Some make us vulnerable. Some of these difficult secrets were shared by those who come here every day and leave such positive and wonderful comments on my daily posts. Hopefully all of these secrets make us feel more love for others. And when I read them, I somehow become incapable of judging anyone for anything that they shared. All I want to do is hug them and tell them I love them. Based on the comments that have continually poured-in, so many of you feel the same way…

Pulled from the Truth Box
1
What everyone thinks is true:
I am happily married.
What actually is true:
I still love my college boyfriend of over 30 years ago. I still dream about him.
2
What everyone thinks is true:
I am a pastor with a rock-solid faith.
What actually is true:
My faith is completely shattered.
3
What everyone thinks is true:
That I love my 16 year old stepson like he is my own.
What actually is true:
He makes my life miserable and I wish he’d go live with his mom.
4
What everyone thinks is true:
i should give up on my boyfriend because he isnt always there for me.
What actually is true:
my boyfriend is ill and dying slowly. it’s hard enough for him to get through every day, imagine how it is for me. we’re only in our 20s
5
What everyone thinks is true:
That I’m a naturally good natured, personable guy.
What actually is true:
I hate most everything and put on a mask to get what I want.
6
What everyone thinks is true:
I am happy in my relationship.
What actually is true:
I am happy with the man I am in love with, but our relationship is a secret in his world.
7
What everyone thinks is true:
I am thrilled to be done with school and can’t wait to be a teacher.
What actually is true:
I think we just wasted 50 thousand dollars on a degree in something I think I’ll be no good at.
8
What everyone thinks is true:
I am happy and fulfilled being independent and working at my new job.
What actually is true:
I’d give up everything to be a wife and a mother.
9
What everyone thinks is true:
That I love having sex with my husband.
What actually is true:
Although I love him dearly, he is boring and a prude and finishes way to quickly. He is probably the worst lover I have ever had. It is hard to be faithful, but I am.
10
What everyone thinks is true:
i mean everything that i say.
What actually is true:
i say things to make people mad when they have hurt me.
11
What everyone thinks is true:
My husband is awesome, with an awesome job, and I stay home with the kids because I am an awesome super mom.
What actually is true:
My husband drives me nuts, his job isn’t that great, we are on food stamps, I stay home at home but I am lazy at times.
12
What everyone thinks is true:
I am happy and my life is exactly how I want it to be.
What actually is true:
I am miserable and only don’t kill myself for lack of strength to do so and because the thought of my kids being so sad without me is worse than the pain I feel every day.
13
What everyone thinks is true:
I am happy.
What actually is true:
I am completely miserable and cry to the point of vomiting nearly every day.
14
What everyone thinks is true:
I’ve been in a happy long-distance relationship for years, but long distance never works out.
What actually is true:
I want out, but I’ll never tell her because then they’ll be right, I’ll have wasted several of my best years, and look like an idiot. Not to mention it would devastate her.
15
What everyone thinks is true:
I just want to be married.
What actually is true:
I really only want to marry the man I’m in love with. Don’t think I would be able to find a better match.
Continued on next page.
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Previous articleComing Out to My Child
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!