I don’t get it.

Why do cashiers at the grocery store give me such weird, and sometimes dirty looks?

I mean, they’re the ones who ask me if I want it.

All I did was ask if it was free when they did.

And I think it’s a valid question when they say, “do you want cash back?”

It sounds like a pretty sweet hook-up. “Here’s your groceries, sir. Would you like some cash back with those?”

Heck yeah I do!

Well, I learned that when I say heck yeah, sometimes it’s not free at all.

I went to one grocery store and the cashier Janet asked me if I wanted cash back. “Heck yeah!” I said.

“How much would you like?”

Wow, these guys were generous. All I had bought was some pasta and some cereal. “Sounds good. How much can I get?”

The cashier looked at me without the emotion someone giving away free money should have, and told me I could get up to $100.00. I looked at my total. $12.25. I couldn’t think of anything, but I must have been being blessed for something awesome I did at some point that week. “Well, shoot. I’ll take a hundred dollars then.”


My receipt printed out, she handed me my hundred bucks and my groceries, and I went and blew my new free wad of cash on go-carts and laser tag with Noah.

Well, imagine my surprise when I got my bank statement and realized that she charged that hundred dollars to my checking account.

Who does that? Who offers you something and then steals it from you to give it to you?

It was messed up for sure, and I never went through her line again. The thief.

Of course, lots of cashiers have tried to pull the same stunt on me since then. I always ask them if it’s free. They just give me the weird looks, so I tell them no thank you before they can rob me like Janet did.

It’s the great cash back scam. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he’s most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It’s an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!