I admittedly was very hungry and doped up on cold medicine when I wrote this. Blame the people who got me sick.

Anyway, they say daily mantras will make your day (and your life) so much better, so here are the top ten mantras you should say every… single… day.

10 Things You Should Repeat Aloud Every Day

1. “You are the creator of your universe. There are no limits to what you can achieve.”

Unless you want to run faster than a Kenyan. That’s just not going to happen. You also will probably never make pancakes that aren’t flat. At a certain point they just become biscuits. But everything else is yours for the universe to grant you.

2. “Blessed are those who have no expectations, for they will never be disappointed.”

Except for those who don’t expect to never be disappointed. Crazy stuff always happens to those guys. I’m talking Twilight Zone crazy.

3. “What you think habitually can be achieved realistically.”

For example, I have gotten in the habit of thinking that consuming large amounts of deep dish pizza will melt my extra fat pockets away. I’ve been trying this, and so far I’m still in that phase where the universe tests my resolve. In this case by making me fatter. But it will happen. I habitually think about it, after all.

4. “Health, happiness, love, and money are infinite.”

Just don’t look in your bank account before or after you repeat this mantra and you’ll be fine.

5. “I have the skills, intelligence, contacts, and money I need right now to create an incredible masterpiece of a life.”

It’s true. My masterpiece is just going to look more like a Picasso. Or maybe a piece by that elephant that paints.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE.

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!