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I admittedly was very hungry and doped up on cold medicine when I wrote this. Blame the people who got me sick.
Anyway, they say daily mantras will make your day (and your life) so much better, so here are the top ten mantras you should say every… single… day.
10 Things You Should Repeat Aloud Every Day
1. “You are the creator of your universe. There are no limits to what you can achieve.”
Unless you want to run faster than a Kenyan. That’s just not going to happen. You also will probably never make pancakes that aren’t flat. At a certain point they just become biscuits. But everything else is yours for the universe to grant you.
2. “Blessed are those who have no expectations, for they will never be disappointed.”
Except for those who don’t expect to never be disappointed. Crazy stuff always happens to those guys. I’m talking Twilight Zone crazy.
3. “What you think habitually can be achieved realistically.”
For example, I have gotten in the habit of thinking that consuming large amounts of deep dish pizza will melt my extra fat pockets away. I’ve been trying this, and so far I’m still in that phase where the universe tests my resolve. In this case by making me fatter. But it will happen. I habitually think about it, after all.
4. “Health, happiness, love, and money are infinite.”
Just don’t look in your bank account before or after you repeat this mantra and you’ll be fine.
5. “I have the skills, intelligence, contacts, and money I need right now to create an incredible masterpiece of a life.”
It’s true. My masterpiece is just going to look more like a Picasso. Or maybe a piece by that elephant that paints.
CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE.
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I feel the same way after I spread butter on my toast if it doesn't get cold. I also consider it a feat of awesomeness when I get a bagel with cream cheese to go, toasted and warm, from the bagel shop down the road from work (about 3 minutes away. I've timed it.) and I can get to work AND eat it before the warm and toasty goodness is gone. Seriously. It makes my day! :-)
Dan. For quite a while now, my morning routine is to go on facebook/the internet and start my day on a positive note, reading inspirational quotes and articles. Loved this post.
Haha. Ok, did you really get a cold/sick again in Vegas? Or just written earlier? What's up with always getting sick in Vegas?
i love to read this before i start my long day.. as a nanny i love 1and 4 so inspiring..
Good job dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL you are too funny, but I do agree having some sort of mantra helps pass the days and give them direction.
Ha ha ha! :D
The very last sentence...genius!
I like checking in at SDL more and more.....glad I found it. :-)
love it and so true!
You need to add, "My family is insane, trying to figure out their logic only makes me as crazy as they are. therefore I accept the crazy to preserve my sanity."
Living every day with passion and purpose would be exhausting! I like to keep mine at a nice, easy going pace. Getting somewhere, maybe not very fast, but I won't run outta steam before my goal, either. I may however pass from this life beforehand at the rate I'm going. Ha!
Very amusing post! :)
LMAO! Very good mantras. I agree with you on the bed thing. Also I've been told all my life I'm not living up to my potential. How in the hell do they know what my potential is? Potentially I could be a sniper and take people out from 200 yards, but I won't. Be careful what you ask for people! Expectations are like ***holes, everybody has one and they often stink. Me I try to start every day with no expectations, just the firm belief that I have no idea what might happen today and it might as well be good. If not, eh I always have going back to bed to look forward to. Love your sense of humor when you're stoned on Nyquil!
love how your head is o much bigger than your body
I'm especially fond of number 5. Besides, I have permission from one of my newspaper horoscopes to be a "lovable mess" at times! ;o}
Please don't ever apologize for the ridiculousness of your posts. The ridiculous always makes me smile.
so very Zen of you, Dan . . . I think? :D
I heard one that I REALLY like... "I am perfect in THIS moment!"
Omg, that last one cracked me up!
I like your random posts :) Feel better love :)
Single dad, AND you ate a piece of toast before it got cold??? You are my new hero... Teach me your ways, I don't remember what hot food tastes like!
Sounds like you are run down from your epic Vegas trip...feel better! xo
"I'm sexy and I know it!" ?
silly and fun!
We all need some ridculosity now and then. ;-)
Don't apologize....I LOVE the "ridiculousness of this post"!!! :D
Oh I really liked this! LOL
#10! YES! People don't realize how great it is to make yourself food and eat it while it's still hot until they have kids....Im starting to think I will never be able to eat my meal without having to reheat it again...by the time I get everyone elses food plated and served to sit down...then some one wants something else or needs help being fed..
@SueJackson No truer words have been spoken. And if it's not the kids, then it's my mom calling. She has great timing. :)
lol
Thanks Dan... I really enjoy your very positive outlook! And think you must be an awesome Dad. I'll be printing these out and beginning today will repeat them... Thank you.
You gave use a laugh this morning! And for that, we thank you!
Awesome :)
I have a cold and this amuses me. It is amazing that you can be funny and have something coursing through your veins at the same time. Impressed me.
heehee. Thanks for the laugh!
That was fun. Thanks.
Funny
Love #8. Ha ha!
In regards to number 9, if someone were to get a headache from reading this post sex is actually one of the best cures for a headache. Yeah. I was shocked too. My husband showed me the proof when he googled "best cures for headaches." Damn Internet.
silly :D
I enjoy your blog, as it reminds me so much of our commonality as people. I go through mantra reciting phases, and these are all great to incorporate into my daily self-affirmations. And you come from such an honest and humorous place. Thanks for writing.
I needed a good chuckle on this gloomy Monday! Thanks!
Is it strange that I heard every one of those in Stuart Smalley's voice? Signs of my misspent youth. While those are good, I'm fairly certain that I'd only end up cracking myself up if I started giving myself motivational speeches, but that would mean I'd start every day with a smile and that would be a good thing! Thanks, Dan!
#10 reminded me of this: http://www.daringyoungmom.com/2012/12/19/drops-of-awesome/
This may be the best post you have ever made...maybe.
LOL.. Thanks.
I am FEELING number 8 today...
Love your side comment after #4..... and I think you've been reading The Secret or something..... ;)
Love this. Love you.
Thanks for the good naugh today Dan. Love your wisdom!
and by naugh I mean laugh