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The world is full of awesomeness, and it’s also full of awesome, ummm, how do I put this… opportunities to be decent and better human beings.
Over the last couple years, I have been keeping a funny list with the intent to write a blog post about all the little rules for basic human decency I come across. Most of these are just observances of people and situations. A few are things I knew I could have done better. Anyways, I finally pulled the list up and realized it was *super* long (the count was 99) so I decided to share it 33 rules at a time so that your eyes don’t permanently glaze over.
My First 33 Rules to Not be a Crummy Human Being
- When you mistakenly block another car’s path with your car, even if only for a minute, wave apologetically instead of driving off angry that you feel hurried.
- Don’t fart while you’re walking in the middle of a big crowd just because no one will know that it’s you.
- When you accidentally walk into someone because you weren’t looking where you were going, apologize instead of walking off like nothing happened.
- If you’re a guy, don’t be an ass and stare at girls’ boobs. They’re not stupid. Their peripheral vision extends much further than yours does.
- If you find out someone is gay , don’t immediately ask them how their parents feel about it. Just say, “cool.”
- When you’re at the gym, wipe your sweat off the machines when you’re done. Nobody else wants to be sittin’ in your nasty nasty.
- Don’t throw your cigarette butts onto your neighbor’s doormat. Does it really need to be explained why this isn’t cool?
- Clean up your dog’s crap. It’s not that hard. It’s not that gross. It certainly isn’t as gross as stepping in someone else’s dog’s crap.
- If you find something expensive that’s not yours, it wasn’t a gift. Someone is probably (desperately) looking for it. So turn it in.
- Don’t spit your gum out where everyone walks. Common sense, people.
- Find a garbage can (there’s one at the end of every aisle), and throw your Costco sample trash away. Don’t leave it in your cart. Believe it or not, the next customer doesn’t want to do that for you.
- When you hit a deer, yes… it sucks. But move it out of the road so that the next guy doesn’t hit it, too. Carry Purel in your car.
- When you knock stuff off of the store shelves, pick it up and put it back on the shelf. Basic two-year old skills.
- Speaking of store shelves, when you grab a product, It doesn’t matter to me if you put it back where it doesn’t go, just don’t cover up another product so that other people can’t find it anymore.
- When a grown man smiles at your baby, don’t give him a look that says “you’re an icky pedophile.” People just like babies and people are nice.
- When you tell a joke, and nobody laughs, don’t explain it for five minutes, just move on. Silence twice is just awkward for everyone, and everyone already feels like they lost part of their lives the first time around.
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Great lists! If I may add one of my own:
If someone is telling you a story, listen! Don't just wait until they are done talking so you can tell your own semi-related story. They might be searching for some feedback or comforting or just to go in a different direction with the conversation, and you won't pick up on those cues if you are already thinking of how you are gonna phrase the punchline to your own story.
Yep, I'd really enjoy a completely unknown person taking an ice scraper to the 40 year old car I restored from the chassis up since I was 16...
I love these, but I'm not touching a dead deer. If I hit one I'll call the police, or maybe some friends since I think in my state you're allowed to take the deer if you hit it with your car. But no, I am not going to be moving a dead deer. I have a baby that is with me 24/7. I'm not going to become covered in deer goo and then pick up my child. But I think the point you're making is not to leave it there, and I would make sure someone did something about it.
Numbers 8, 9 and 10 are gospel, man! I mean, shouldn't those things just be obvious?
If someone started scraping the ice off my car I would be kind of irritated. I agree with everything else, and majority of part 2. Im just stingy about people messing with my stuff, especially my car.
Oh and here's one to add: If it's raining and you drive a silver, gray, or white vehicle, turn on your lights. Especially on the freeway. We can't see you in the rain otherwise.
The one about scraping the ice off of someone's car. I thought that was sweet and inspiring.
i feel like i live most of those, but 26 is a great idea! especially if you keep a spray bottle of water/vinegar in your car, it's so quick and easy, there's no reason not to!
love these!
OMG #3!! To infinity and beyond. Some douche literally ran over my 2 1/2 year old (stepped on him TWICE) and didn't even stop! And when I called him on it he STILL didn't apologize. He almost got a throat punch for that.
#6, for the love of god #6!!!
I really appreciate this. My favorite is the simple manners I was taught by my mother. Yes/No Sir/Mam Please/Thank you Have a nice day and such...
While on a walk last night I saw a sign posted near a school bus stop that said "Found iPad, please call to claim".Thank you not crummy person for helping out a stranger.
How about giving a complement to a manager when an employee goes "above and beyond" many will complain when they get bad or rude service, but extra good service also should be afforded that courtesy. It will make someones day :)
#22
@AmyGordon .... I don't want to pass judgement or criticize, I know there's different circumstances for different people, however I've found that many parents today feel the rest of the world somehow owes them extras just because they have kids. Would it be an act of kindness to return the shopping cart for a mom struggling with 2 kids, for sure! Would it be extra kind of you to let her go ahead of you in line? You bet! Does anyone OWE you that??? Definitely not!!! My generation raised kids without looking to strangers for extra help. If my child started acting up in the grocery store, I disciplined them and taught them that's inappropriate behaviour. It's extra kind of someone to offer that help, showing kindness to others, being a nice person .... But allowing your kids to be turds in public without disciplining them (or trying to) and expecting others to come to your rescue is being a crappy person. NOT saying that's what YOU do, just generalizing.
@Canadian chck @AmyGordon Why do you feel the need to start a generation war? You completely raised your children without help from anyone else ever? And you never felt frustrated, or anxious, or overwhelmed. You never felt like it would just be so nice if someone would notice how much you were struggling and step up and DO something about it, because they had an extra minute and you were about to launch you and your crew off the deep end. Parenting was THAT much different when you were raising your family? I'm going to respectfully suggest that you're suffering from memory haze. It happens when you were so sleep deprived and out of sorts for an entire section of your life that when you leave that section of your life, you forget just exactly how difficult it was. It's not that our generation thinks that people owe us stuff. We just have more venues to be open and honest about what we want. YES, we want help. There are times when we feel like we NEED help. It's not owed to us any more than it was owed to you. But it would still be really nice.
Also, wanting help putting a grocery cart away (because all three of my hands are full), or hoping that the person in front of me with a giant cart full of groceries will allow me to pay for my bread and milk before them since I'm trying to prevent an overtired 2 year old from melting down, does not mean that I let my children run amok! Your assumption that the fact that my child is misbehaving means that there is no discipline is ridiculous. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. So stop being snooty and have some compassion!
@Amy @Canadian chck @AmyGordon @Amy @Canadian chck @AmyGordon @Amy @Canadian chck @AmyGordon ... Wow Amy, it appears that you took that 100% personally!! If you stop for a second and RE-READ my comment, you'll see I said I'm not judging or aiming it directly AT YOU!! And believe me ... I do not have any kind of memory issues, thanks, I totally remember being overwhelmed and frustrated and at the end of my rope and not know what I'm going to do next, but not ONCE did I ever think someone else should help me!! YES I would have loved it if they did, and I totally accepted the help if offered, and even times when I was feeling really anxious would ask for help, but NO ONE owed me that!! And guess what? I even do offer the help to people I see struggling, young people, old people or anyone in between!! It's called being nice!! Now before you jump on a high horse again .... I AM NOT SAYING YOU PERSONALLY ARE DEMANDING HELP, OR EXPECTING HELP .... I SEE THAT YOU PERSONALLY WOULD JUST LOVE THE HELP IF AND WHEN OFFERED ... I GET IT!!!! My previous comment was GENERALIZING ..... It's something I'm seeing more and more every year ... Like it or not, admit it or not, the generation behind mine feels like the world owes them stuff. And it's sad. But let me reiterate one more time ... I'm not saying YOU, or EVERYONE in the next generation is that way, but there's sure a lot more that do than there was years ago .... I apologize if I offended you personally. Lets not be crappy people and act rudely on Dans page.
@Canadian chck AMEN!!!
Wash your hands after you use the bathroom. Seriously. Think of all the things you touch AFTER you go the bathroom! My husband watched a guy walk into the men's restroom while on his cell phone, urinate (still on his cell phone), and then leave without washing his hands.
Also: put your shopping cart in the drop-off areas in the store parking lot or take it back to the store. It takes at most an extra minute to do so.
Douchetard---love it!! I agree with all of them but especially number 9. I found a wallet full of cash in a cab one Saturday night/Sunday morning coming home. I overnighted to the person's address on driver's license from work. The young woman called and thanked me profusely which just turned a crappy day I was having right around. I returned not only because is wasn't mine and it wouldn't be right to keep it, but also she had a picture with I assumed her boyfriend in the slot right next to her ID. Money and cards could be replaced, but pictures? I know I would be heartbroken if that happened to me.
Some of you hate a lot. Try a little love. The more love in the world, the less this kind of blog post would be needed. There's always going to be something someone is doing that you'd label wrong. Now if its going to hurt someone, sure they shouldn't do it, but some of you are really nit picking your fellow humans. Just love. :)
Oh oh, and please properly dispose of your glass bottles, that doesn't mean broken on the ground.
Oh, ya one more. Turn signals are great, and not there for show, use them!
If the parking lot is full make sure you are in space correctly and you aren't parked like tool. Well, do that even if the lot isn't full. It takes a few seconds to straighten out!
douchetard
Aaahhh, these are great! So many gems here that I want you to high-five about...most notable is the word "douchetard"! So, so good!
30 is my fav
If someone stops to ask for directions don't be a douche and give them the wrong ones! Living in Niagara Falls, Canada I get asked for directions by tourists a lot....it's always best to guide them in the correct direction.
Should you ever be exiting your car and hit the parked car next to you with your door, please acknowledge with the "I'm sorry" wave if someone is sitting there.
I disagree with your one about putting things back in the grocery store - I used to be the employee that went through Target after it closed having to straighten all the shelves and put everything back where it belonged. People would leave frozen food items in the makeup department, milk in the toy department...ice cream in the greeting cards. If you don't want it, simply give it to your cashier and say, "I changed my mind about this item." They will send it to a bin of 'go backs' and someone won't have to play seek-n-find or remove damaged merchandise.
Don't pee in the pool. Or the ocean if it's crowded.
Be forgiving of that mom at the store with the child throwing an ear-splitting tantrum, especially if your kid is super calm every time you're in the store. She's already embarrassed enough without the dirty looks and muttered comments.
Only take a bite of someone else's meal if they offer it. Let them put it on your plate, if it involves a silverware transfer is involved unless they gesture otherwise.
Do not let your children run wild and free in the stores. I've seen more kids running through toy aisles with no adult in sight, creating chaos.
Stand up against bullies. You don't have to challenge them to a duel, just a simple, "Not cool, man." will suffice. Or better, don't interact with the bully, but give the bullied person support - "You look great in blue." "You want to come hang out?" "Let me buy you a cup of coffee."
@MeganDunlapJarrett thank you for speaking on the bully issue. It's true the world would be better if bullying stopped, but since the chances of that are slim, we should each do our part to step in and step up, even if it is 'just' to talk to the victim with support. Sometimes that's the strongest gesture that you can make.
Oh my goodness, yes! Your first paragraph is exactly what I thought when I read Rule 14. It takes no effort to hand it to a cashier (or any employee, should you not be purchasing anything that day) and have them put it back where it belongs. Stuffing an item somewhere else just makes more work for already over-worked/underpaid people, and in the case of food products, can actually ruin that product.
I totally agree with #15--I like it when guys adore my kids but I think it's weird how people react to my husband when he smiles at a baby. The flip side of this is: DON'T TOUCH other people's kids without permission unless it's a real emergency, regardless of your sex. I've had strangers (usually women) pick my kids up out of their strollers or off the ground just because they're cute and this is not okay with me. How hard is it to ask?
also if you are a man and you see a woman trying to push her car out of the street due to car trouble or she ran out of gas be a man and help her push
@Sharla Coffman Women are also permitted to help push a car. They may not help, but they're unlikely to hurt the situation.
another one is if you work in retail take one minute to look me in the eyes to say hello like you are acknowledging my existence
If you are shopping, take a minute to look your clerk in the eyes and say hello like you are acknowledging their existence. And treat your service workers like human beings.
another one is if you see a mother struggling with a baby and kids or an elderly person take the few minutes to open the door and ask if they can help...especially those people are in wheelchairs
another one people should automatically put on there light when it is dusk. I can't tell you how many times I have been freaked out by a dark car in my rearview mirror without lights and then I have to worry about there safety and other cars around them
another one is smoking in the front of the entrance into a building or a store. my 4 year old and myself are forced to breathe in your icky nicotine habit...people should finish up there ciggarette in there car with the windows up
@Sharla Coffman I too have a real problem with this. I used to be a smoker, and I was always considerate of other people, to the point I would either switch my smoke to the other side or hold it behind me when I passed a parent with a stroller on the street. After my lung collapsed I quit smoking, but I was diagnosed with COPD and I was told smoking another cigarette could quite literally kill me. It is really frustrating trying to get my shopping done when I have to walk through the cloud of smoke right in front of the door, caused by a group of people (usually) hanging out and having conversations they could be having AWAY from the door.
another is someone who purposely puts a soda can right directly below your door in a parking lot so you either step on it or run your car over and it explodes. Had that happen at Walmart. Another one is gum on the floor...people need to spit it out in the trash
How about some 'airplane etiquette'? 1) Do not allow your child to play with the tray that is obviously attached someone's seat, or to consistently kick the back of the seat. It is very annoying! 2) Do not play music or DVD players without headphones. 3) Do not break wind and pretend it's not you! 4) Do not bring bags on the plane that you and everyone else know should be checked.
@tmackey, Not a lot of parents "allow" their kid to play with a tray that's on the back of someone's seat, but a determined two-year-old will go after it over and over again, and while you can stop them every time, you can't exactly chain them to the seat, as much as you wish you could. Also, are you supposed to fart and then claim it? It's not always possible to hold it in or get to the bathroom right away. People fart. Get over it. These are ways for you to be a better person, not ways to complain about the rest of the world, right?
@AmyGordon @tmackey I will disagree with you. A lot of parents do sit by and NEVER tell there kids to stop. So to me it is allowed! If a parent, and there are some, try to control them I don't get as annoyed and I appreciate the effort. How are they going to learn how to behave? Stop making excuses and teach them! As to the breaking wind in public, I don't know about you but my parents taught me that that was not appropriate behavior. So I don't know what kind of rules you were brought up with, don't care. Kids I understand, grownups unless there is some health reason, not so much. As you might know, these are my suggestions, you don't like it don't read it. I chose not to comment on your demands below, so LET IT GO!! Oh and I will not be encouraging any other comments so that's all I have to say.
the other one to add is letting people pass in front of you when the lane merges from 2 lanes to 1. I was getting on a highway and had plenty of time to get in front of the guy when the lane merged to one and he sped up fast almost forcing us to crash because his ego got in the way and wouldn't let me merge into the lane with my 4 year old in the back. So I put on my horn so he knew I was pissed and when the lane went back to 2 lanes I flipped him off as I passed him. Not a proud parent moment but he almost caused an accident with me and my child
Can the last one be forgive people and laugh it off if they don't follow these rules?
And I suggest helping struggling moms carrying small children whenever you can. Return their cart to the cart thingy so they don't have to leave children in the car unattended. Let them go before you in line before their kids start screaming. And by all means, be sympathetic instead of judgmental when their kid(s) do start screaming. When people have done stuff like this for me, it has made my day. I have two small toddlers, and I know it's a chore to put up with them sometimes, but when people in public understand that and are nice about it, it makes a huge difference.
Change the toilet roll when you use one up!!!