Dear Teachers

Cracking up! 

THIS IS A JOKE, PEOPLE!  The guy is a comedian...but the purpose of this letter is to highlight THE ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS demands on teachers by parents these days...more and more, teachers are expected to impart so much of what really should be done at home.  To expect one person to provide individualized programs for 30 + students covering intellectual, physical, social and emotional well-being is unrealistic.   

Wow. Should I ever have children, there are a lot of these things on my list... 

"Please learn to handle a sidearm" is at the top, followed closely by "Love and cherish them as if they were your own". Then again, I also get a clear perspective on a teacher's job from this. ... and I thought MY job as a DoD contractor had stress...

My favorite teacher was a gay choir director that taught me how to cope with the cruel nature of my classmates. He took me and a few others hunting, coached us through our *ahem* changing minds and bodies (specifically our voices,) taught us tolerance and compassion and above all, never stopped us from being "different". Mr. Peters, of Grover Cleveland HS, Portland, OR, I love you and thank you for being that rock.

I'm not in the classroom now, but I was for 8 years. I fed kids. I bought lunches. I trimmed fingernails, blew noses, and washed faces. I wiped tears. I got them all out of the building safely after Northridge Quake aftershocks. I've been yelled at, threatened, and bullied by parents.

I've also had as many wonderful experiences in the classroom with parents as well. I will say, I don't know if I'll be rushing back into the classroom anytime soon (not that there are any teaching jobs here anyway). 

I think what people are forgetting here is that most teachers are doing the best job they can with what they have, and most parents are doing the best job with what they have. When parents and teachers work as a team, it is an amazing experience. Parents, get to know your child's teacher... say thank you once in a while... even if you don't agree with everything they do. They are an individual, and your child is bound to learn some great things from them. (Obviously if they are doing something illegal or immoral then take care of it.) Teachers, get to know your parents. Tell them they are doing a great job. Ask them about their child at home, their interests, hobbies, and what they like to do together as a family. Support them in that. Try to support them in their beliefs and values as well. (Obviously if they are doing something illegal or immoral then take care of it.) 

Amen

@CassieF @lethel YES!  I wish our schools would do this.  In fact. maybe it's something I should bring up to the principal or someone of higher authority.  I believe this is an EXCELLENT way to help parents that either never had the educational background to help their kids, parents that don't remember OR even parents that do remmber, but realize that their child is being taught in a different way than when they grew up. 

Most school personell do this anyway.  I had a lot of good teachers/guidance counselors/lunch ladies, etc.  We don't give any of them enough credit.

Greg, while I appreciate your goal in writing this letter, as you can see from many comments above, you’ve managed to widen an unproductive chasm even further. Self-pitying teachers everywhere are going to use your letter as an anthem to continue to ask for pity from others. There are fantastic teachers and there are lazy teachers. We’ve encountered both. Unfortunately, the progress a great teacher makes can be wiped away in a matter of weeks by a bad teacher. I would love to see your take on a satirical letter to parents. As someone mentioned above, I think it might be along the lines of “Please medicate your child so that my day is simpler.” Also, one of my favorite responses while trying to discuss advanced learning plans is “I have 32 other students in my class,” implying there is no time to craft a learning plan for my ONE. Some teachers love to give lip service to wanting parental involvement, but if that involvement results in any extra work as a result of something not working in the classroom, they resent the parents “butting in”. Some teachers like to assign unreasonable amounts of homework as a badge of their toughness, and that homework causes families to put everything on hold: family time, activities, and outdoor playtime. We recently had an issue with a teacher not printing homework and telling everyone they need to download it from the website and print it themselves. When we told her our printer was broken and we didn’t have the money to replace it, she made a huge deal about having to do it herself. Great teachers deserve recognition. Bad teachers do NOT deserve to have a letter like this to fall back on to continue making excuses as to why they fail.

PENGUIN!!!

I don't like it. It furthers that "us vs. them" mentality that is destroying this country. I've been a teacher for over  30 years, and the best way to look at parents is the way I hope they look at us: doing the best we can with what they've got. I don't want to view parents as a monolithic entity either, it's Danny's parents, Marie's mom, Jane's grandmother, etc. It takes an effort on my part to get to know my students as people and that includes their parents, but technology has made this ever so much easier. (I am a secondary teacher, so I have had up to 150 students a semester) I've found it's more than worth the effort in pay off. 

Teachers aren't "union thugs" and parents aren't "looking for free babysitting"--time to stop stereotyping. Even for laughs.

Dear Parents

Please stop having children. They really get in the way of my 'me time' sitting at my desk filing my nails. Plus sometimes I am forced to talk to them and hear their tedious stories of grandfather's house or that trip to the zoo. It disturbs my daydreaming about how to spend my millions during the vacations. 

You are the one who got all knocked up and I think if you just do that less often then I would have more time to work on my Farmville farm. Also, I find it quite insulting that you actually expect me to leave the coffee machine for longer than 5 minutes to go and explain concepts to your children which they should have learned from the Elmo and co. they grew up in front of. Come on people. Either stop having them, or get better channels. The ones you have are just not cutting it.

And don't even get me started on extra mural activities! What a waste of my time! At the end of the day I do not want to be practicing for the play with your child. I want to climb into my Porsche and drive home to my sea-side mansion to relax and watch my own children watching TV until bedtime.

Sincerely 

A Teacher

Having grown up in the public school system, I can definitely see why some teachers might feel that way. I think we are a society that needs too much stuff, generally, and it gets in the way of our lives. That's why my dream is to bust my butt getting out of debt after school is over, and work enough to pay for the necessities (splitting that work time between my husband's & my work weeks) so that we can make sure to invest our time and energy in raising our kids, including homeschooling. I think it is a tragedy that today it is considered normal to spend most of your time away from your family, and I'm willing to do anything within my power to make sure that that is not my family's story. And I'm so lucky to have a met a man who not only shares that dream, but grew up living it in his own family's household!

Greg, thank you for this very funny letter...and I did really appreciate the part about arming the teachers. Thanks for sharing your talent in defense of the noble profession of teaching and all the teachers already do for our kids.

As a teacher-I can't stop laughing and telling you that ur an ass but as a working mom I can totally relate!!!!

As a parent AND a teacher, I appreciate this, though I feel a bit guilty because I often send my kids to daycare w/o having breakfast because I have to get to work in order to supervise kids who are dropped off before "official" school hours.

Teachers aren't the only ones that are overworked and underpaid.  Yes, they are somewhat responsible for our children, but I don't have it in me to pity them.  If they are truly a "teacher" then they will find ways to work with their students, receive respect from them and ultimately be one of the people that maybe will be able to help some of those children that desperately need a parental figure in their life/  If these children don't have supportive parents at home... IT ISN'T THEIR FAULT!  They need more help than other students, whether it's of the disciplinary nature or not.  Teachers NEED to fight with those parents that don't care.  They NEED to reach out to them time and time again.  Don't make the children suffer for their parent's inability to parent.  TEACH them something.

I don't want to hear how hard it is for a 2nd grade teacher to clean up a mess left by her students, or how hard it is to grade papers or how you have to do extra things.  You know what... everyone in this day and age HAS to do extra at their jobs.  My husband had to go into his work to interview people for positions during his VACATION because they knew he'd be home.  He works late and is in early almost every day.  It's something extra he has to do.  He works from home... all the time and yes, even on weekends.  He is a chemist.  He's not a CEO or some high ranking manager.  But wait, he doesn't get winter breaks, summer breaks, and lots of "extra" holidays off.  No.. but teachers do.  A teacher's job is difficult... but to someome that loves teaching, you take the good with the bad, just like everyone else does.  If you don't like the profession, do something else.  But if you ARE a teacher and love your profession, I thank you for the work that you do.

I believe in the saying that "it takes a village to raise a child".  I remember when I was younger and I was caught stealing, my mom brought me up to the police station to have them talk to me about stealing.  It wasn't their job to teach me, but they did.  It was something "extra" they did to help out a parent.  I believe that everyone in a community has something to teach a child.... so why can't we all just look to help one another instead of pointing fingers.

My point here is this... yeah, teachers have it rough.  They are underpaid and overworked.  So is the rest of the country's workers that haven't been laid off.  We are all working extra hours, working harder and having to deal with a lot more than we ever thought we would...  but we all do it.  So let's all just do our jobs and stop pointing fingers... yes, PARENTS INCLUDED.

It's funny, because one of my really good friends just posted something on facebook like this.  He didn't write it, I don't know who did, but it's amazing!

"Teachers' hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work 9 or
10 months a year! It's time we put thing in perspective and pay them for
what they do - babysit! We can get that for minimum wage. That's right.
Let's give them $3.00 an hour and only the hours they worked; not any
of that silly planning time, or any time they spend before or after
school. That ...would be $19.50 a day
(7:45 to......... 3:00 PM with 45 min. off for lunch and plan-- that
equals 6 1/2 hours). Each parent should pay $19.50 a day for these
teachers to baby-sit their children. Now how many students do they teach
in a day...maybe 30? So that's $19.50 x 30 = $585.00 a day. However,
remember they only work 180 days a year!!! I am not going to pay them
for any vacations. LET'S SEE.... That's $585 X 180= $105,300 per year.
(Hold on! My calculator needs new batteries).What about those special
education teachers and the ones with Master's degrees? Well, we could
pay them minimum wage ($7.75), and just to be fair, round it off to
$8.00 an hour. That would be $8 X 6 1/2 hours X 30 children X 180 days =
$280,800 per year. Wait a minute -- there's something wrong here! There
sure is!

The average teacher's salary (nation wide) is
$50,000. $50,000/180 days = $277.77/per day/30 students=$9.25/6.5 hours =
$1.42 per hour per student--a very inexpensive baby-sitter and they
even EDUCATE your kids!) WHAT A DEAL!!!!

Heaven forbid we take into account highly qualified teachers or NCLB..."

One way to look at the big picture is the element of time for children. Parents today are usually both working and are not always able to give the quality time children need. Parents need to be available to their children, not just there.

I have a child who has just started school this past Fall. I went into the "meet the teacher" day and told his teacher that I am well aware of his "issues" (he likes to talk back) and will not hesitate to believe her if she tells me that he has said something untoward. When told that another Kindergartner head-butted my child, my first question to the Principal was "Did my son say something that may have caused this?" I went into the first conference expecting to hear that I had an unsocialized heathen who needed remedial manners help and who might be better off if I just pulled him out of school and got him some intensive therapy before bringing him back.

In other words, I KNOW how much of a handful a classroom full of students are, and am not one of those "not my kids" types of moms. I know that it is my responsibility to teach him right from wrong (even if not in the "acceptable" Judeo-Christian manner), make sure he is fed and clothed appropriately every day, has enough sleep at night, does his homework, follows the rules, respects his teachers ...  I KNOW how much of a handful my own child is. I know that his teachers have a number of things they are supposed to do and raising my child is NOT one of them. That's MY job.

I grew up in a time when it was acceptable for school teachers and administrators to "physically discipline" children - and was physically abused (as was my brother) during that time by teachers and had a school board tell my parents that we were liars (despite the bruises, whiplash, housemaid's knee and tennis elbow that told the story). I have told the school system that if my son is in need of physical discipline, I will come in to administer it. Luckily, they don't allow that type of thing any more in public schools. So far, I've had one phone call from the school where my child did something wrong. I've told him it is NOT acceptable to tell his teacher "Curse, you, Mrs. A___" and he was disciplined at home. He will NEVER say that type of thing again to a teacher. But my first reaction was not "Oh, no .... MY child couldn't have said THAT" It was "Oh my goodness! I am SO SORRY, Mrs. A___."

I have to admit to finding the whole deadpan "I curse you" to be somewhat humorous, though. If only for the absurdity of the whole thing.

I don't think a lot of parents feel this way. I think everyone is over worked and frustrated with a system that needs an overhaul. I have four kids, they have had awesome teachers and not so awesome ones. One of my kids even had a preschool teacher that did not like him and turned a blind eye to another child hurting him. One day this little boy almost broke his fingers.  So my feelings on teachers are mixed. Just like being a scout leader, a coach or as youth volunteer, you are going to be a part of that child's life. It really does take a village, maybe, we just need a stronger village. 

The sad truth is, a lot of parents feel this way.  I used to teach 4th grade and had parents come in and demand conferences with the principal because their child's feelings got hurt, but when you told them of their child's transgressions that led to it they would laugh and blow it off.  A large number of parents expect teachers to do it all, and don't realize that just doing what the job requires and getting papers graded typically means an 80 hour work week for grading, planning, preparation and teaching.  We don't really get summers off, we use that time to go to conferences and conventions to keep our skills sharp and learn about what is new to be sure we are doing our best to help the children we are entrusted with.  There is no comp time, no overtime pay, but if you don't work the hours, the job doesn't get done and you lose the right to do what most of us live for, which is teaching.  I had to step away from the classroom due to the demands on my time, and being a mom of 3.  I couldn't do my job as a teacher, and raise my children and be as present for them as I wanted to be, it is physically impossible in the days of testing, portfolios, and six-point lesson plans.  Sorry--I'll step off of my soapbox now.  

Greg, your post is hilarious. Everyone is so uptight these days, sadly. 

On a light note, I just want to throw out there that not all teachers have vacations, breaks, many days off. I am a certified teacher and I teach all summer, and do not have any holiday "breaks." But in the end it doesn't matter, we are all adults here and know our responsibilities and need to live up to them without trying to compare who is better, etc. 

I will never forget a time in elementary school when our whole school joined hands and sang "We are the world" by Michael Jackson. We all need to work together! :)

I'm a teacher. While some of those parenting styles do seem to exist I find this letter self- pitying. Too many of these things are out of educators' control. It offers no positives nor solutions. In short it's embarrassing to have this sentiment spread as if all educators are this whiny.

Hi, I'm the person that wrote the article. It was meant as satire. I didn't intend to offend parents or teachers. I was simply thinking about the debate of having teachers bringing guns to school. And, while reading other threads, I realized that most people in favor of arming teachers weren't considering all that teachers already do. So, the "A Parent" character was written as THAT person, not all parents.

Teachers, and most working adults, already have a 40-50 hour work week. Adding a task, any task, to their current duties is not going to solve the problem... no matter what the problem is.

I had great teachers. And, I know that most parents with the means to do so are great parents. But, I wanted to offer this perspective. When I initially posted it, a hundred thousand teachers thanked me for saying what they don't feel they can say. So, whether you like the article or not, I feel proud that a major voice in the debate now has a little bit less censorship in stating what they already do for us.

Thanks for reading!

Hi, I'm the person that wrote the article. It was meant as satire. I didn't intend to offend parents or teachers. I was simply thinking about the debate of having teachers bringing guns to school. And, while reading other threads, I realized that most people in favor of arming teachers weren't considering all that teachers already do. So, the "A Parent" character was written as THAT person, not all parents. Teachers, and most working adults, already have a 40-50 hour work week. Adding a task, any task, to their current duties is not going to solve the problem... no matter what the problem is. I had great teachers. And, I know that most parents with the means to do so are great parents. But, I wanted to offer this perspective. When I initially posted it, a hundred thousand teachers thanked me for saying what they don't feel they can say. So, whether you like the article or not, I feel proud that a major voice in the debate now has a little bit less censorship in stating what they already do for us. Thanks for reading!

Yes, yes, yes!  Every thing about this post is completely true.  And how about this one (that I've heard from mothers on several occassions): "Please stop calling me about my son.  When he is at school, he is YOUR problem". 

I have been a teacher for 12 years now, and I have yet to see the day when all I do is TEACH.  I am a social worker, a confidant, a disciplinarian, a housekeeper, an organizer, a mother, and a teacher who is trying to conform to all of the new rules and guidelines being placed on us.  I have kids who come to school after having stayed up all night long playing video games, kids who's own parents drop them off to school an hour late because THEY overslept, and kids who work full time jobs in addition to school, so they can help their parents pay the household bills. 

I love teaching.  And I've met a lot of great parents over the years, too.  I just wish that more parents would stop placing so much responsibility on teachers and start focusing on the job that they need to do at home. 

Funny because it's true! Not all parents are like that, in fact most aren't. Not all teachers are that dedicated, either, but most are.

This is funny but there is some truth to it. I am also a teacher of students with special needs and love each one dearly! However, there are parents who are very involved and there are parents who are not. Just like there are teachers who barely teach. Anyway, please find the humor in this and if its offensive maybe you need to look at your own contribution to your students or children.

It's funny, but it only scratches the surface. A parent and teacher

OMG -- where to start?

First of all, both my parents are retired teachers and I know they were GREAT teachers.  They cared about their students and worked hard to inspire them to learn.  Having said this though, I need to add that when they were teaching, there seemed to be a totally different mentality about the role parents played in the education of their kids.  Parents knew it was part of their JOB as parents to make sure their children were involved in school, not solely relying on teachers.  I see too many parents now complaining that their kids aren't succeeding because schools/teachers don't perform tasks that I feel are the responsibility of the parent.  For example, in Hawaii, we have parents complaining about schools not providing bus service to shuttle their kids to and from school -- and these AREN'T families in remote rural areas.  As a parent, I feel it's your own responsibility to make sure your child gets to school on-time, even if you have to walk them, catch the bus, catch a cab, or find a carpool yourself.  What's next?  Should teachers also make wake-up calls to each and every student to make sure they wake up on time too?  I'm really tired of parents using the excuse, "I don't have time because I need to work," to justify passing off their parental duties to the schools.  If you don't have time to be a parent, then don't have kids.