Day two of Las Vegas has come and gone. This morning I ninja’d that sunshine and slept till almost eleven. And now, I’m laying here in bed and I have a bit of a headache. I couldn’t *possibly* guess why.
I learned some more information about Vegas yesterday, and figured I better share it with you before this vacation gets too far underway and I can’t remember any of it at all.
Here are some more facts about Vegas. If you missed yesterday, be sure to read that, too.
FACT: There are some amazing deals in Las Vegas if you’re looking for high fashion. Like this premium shirt. Which I really regret not buying right now.
FACT: You should never play in a poker tournament at Binions. There is this one guy who will also be playing at your table who will take all your money away because he has “better cards.” Whatever that means.
FACT: There is a tattoo parlor Downtown (a.k.a. Gehttoville, a.k.a. getchyerselfshotville, a.k.a. awesomeville) called, you guessed it, Downtown Tattoo. This is a great place to go if you’re touring Vegas and want to see stuffed cats.
FACT: If your girlfriend passes out, it’s perfectly normal to load her up onto the handlebars of your bicycle and take her through busy traffic to wherever you need to get.
FACT: Las Vegas is the city of seriously high ambition.
FACT: When you go to the Hofbräuhaus, you will be coerced into holding up a stein full of beer in an insanely awesome testosteroney competition.
FACT: You will come in third place out of twelve people proving that you are the man.
FACT: You probably are low on testosterone and you are probably not the man if you use the word “testosteroney” to describe your experience.
FACT: Your hotel door won’t open at three AM if you are repeatedly inserting your key into the wrong door.
FACT: It is really scary to turn onto a busy one way street in Vegas going the wrong way.
FACT: When you tell your blog readers to come join you for some table games, just about anybody could show up.
FACT: Only awesome married moms will actually show up. And isn’t Vegas best done with a bunch of married moms?
FACT: Las Vegas moms are crazy. They make you *do* things.
FACT: If you visit Las Vegas, you will leave with a new tattoo that you got with the friends you just made (who also all got one). It’ll be about the size of a pencil eraser and will remind you forever that the world is full of crazy moms who’ll do pretty much anything on a dare.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing