Crazy professor

I wrote this short poem in an attempt to explore just how some of our Facebook friend lists got so out of control. Enjoy. Be sure to read both pages.


I signed up for Facebook,
I didn’t have to think twice.
So many were joining
this over-sharer’s paradise.

Twas two thousand and seven
This could be fun, I thought.
I can share a few laughs
and all the great photos I’ve got.

Click here, Facebook said.
To find all of your friends!
And all the people from high school,
and all your old girlfriends.

“Woohoo, this is awesome!”
I screamed with a smile,
as I sent hundreds of friend requests,
and I built my profile.

It was finally my chance
to prove that I am the man,
to stack up my friend count,
in every way that I can.

First by dozens and then hundreds,
oh how the number did grow,
and it didn’t take long
before I was lost in its throes.

I became friends with the quarterback
from my senior year,
and then friends with the prom queen?
I grinned ear to ear.

And then Sarah Stephens
who was always out of my league,
along with many others
with whom I was always intrigued

I added the jocks,
they were so cool back then.
I added the cheerleaders
and the school president.

But why stop there?
Why not have them all?
I added the band geeks
and the freaks in the hall.

I added the guys
who were top of their class.
I added the girls
who were kind of badass.

I added the nerds
who played cards after school
I added the geeks
Who in drama did rule.

If you were in student counsel
you got a friend request from me.
If you were in shop or home ec,
you became part of my spree.

No, we didn’t really have
to know each other at all.
We didn’t have to even
say hi in the halls.


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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!