Today I just want to do two things.
1) Show off my mad computer graphics skills.
2) Teach the drivers of small cars how to park.
Let’s say I’m driving through a parking lot, and the lot is full. We’ve all been there. And I’m getting tired. And my butt is starting to sweat. And I don’t know how it’s possible that everyone else is finding parking spots, and nobody is coming back out to their cars to leave…
And then I see it, ahead. An empty parking spot. (I told you I had mad graphic skills.)
And I’m like…
And I pull up to that empty spot, and I start to turn in, and I’m like…
Because there is a car there after all. Yes, someone with a small car decided to pull all the way forward between a 29-passenger SUV and a van the size of Alabama.
It’s not cool, dudes. It makes me swear in front of my kid. It makes me slam on my breaks. It makes me start thinking of ways I can “send you a message” by hurting your car.
So, here is some parking for dummies:
If you have a small car, park it like this…
See how kind and nice my thoughts are when you just pull in and leave your bumper toward the back of the stall? See how I didn’t want to Tanya Harding you when you came back out?
In fact, it was so thoughtful of you that I immediately ran home and made a plate of brownies, raced back, and left them under your windshield wipers to say thank you.
Er, something like that.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing