Last week I was at the gym, minding my own business, pretending not to constantly look in the mirror at my huge biceps, when two really, really scrawny younger guys started setting up on a bench press nearby. They were 18 at best.
While bench pressing 65 lbs:
Guy #1: Seriously dude, it’s so messed up that she’s making us come do this. I don’t want to be like those huge guys.
Guy #2: Who? Those guys whose shoulders are so big they’re swallowing their heads? They look like a cross between a turtle and a gorilla.
Guy #1: Yeah, I don’t wanna look like them and I don’t know why she wants me to look like them. That’s why I’m keeping my weight low when we work out.
Guy #2: Yep, I’m sure that’s the only reason. You and me we’re in serious danger of waking up tomorrow looking like muscle freaks with the way we’re going.
They removed five pounds from each side.
While bench pressing 55 lbs:
Guy #1: It’s not that I don’t want to look good. It’s that I don’t think she should base whether she likes me on how much muscle I have.
Guy #2: Look at us man. We both look like starving six year olds on stilts. Maybe she just wants you to not look like you’re imploding.
Guy #1: Shut up, man. You know what I’m saying.
Guy #2: Just saying. If I was a girl, I wouldn’t want to feel like I was going to crush you if we hugged.
Guy #1: What if she said that to you, man? What if she said she wasn’t attracted to you because of how skinny you were? Would you think it was okay?
Guy #2: I’d think she was being honest and I’d start going to the gym, and then when I got more muscle I’d tell her where to go and how to get there and get somebody way hotter than her.
And, this is the point that I think they saw that I was hovering, listening in because they looked at me and stopped talking about anything except the science of lifting weights.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. This blog post has also been recorded as a podcast. You know, if you’re into that kind of thing.
A really great looking guy told me a few years ago, and I don't think I'll ever forget it. He said "I love how girls think they have the market cornered on feeling all awkward and nervous around guys. I wish they knew how when we're around them we're reduced to mumbling toddlers who are on the verge of peeing our pants."
To girls, muscles and height are important. Just like boobs are important to guys. We notice those two things when you walk past in the bar, we take note.
I'm with you on the circumcision thing, Dan. Mine was done when I was eight days old for religious reasons. I see lots of benefits and I'm glad I do not have to be concerned about the discomfort.
Ooooh, I had to laugh! Kinda pity anybody who hears me and friends chat while working out. It's usually totally random and off the wall.
LOVE it!! hahaha i'm gonna listen more closely to people at the gym now... bwahaha
OMG! Funny! Totally not surprising for 18 yr old guys, but sorry I wanna be crushed by a hug! Young love LOL
That is an epic day at the gym! Well done :-) I love people.. they are the worlds best entertainment
I'd stop receiving your posts if I could figure out how. Drat.
@Joyce Hawkinson You mean on Facebook? Unlike his page. Just mouse over where it says liked and you'll see the option.
funny stuff
hee hee Laura Bonner !
"We both look like starving six year olds on stilts." THAT is some funny stuff.
hahahahaha awesome
That is so funny!!!!!! xD
That was funny Guy #1 opps I mean Dan.
Next time have headphones in, just don't play any music. They'll think you're just minding your own business and listening to tunes while you secretly crack up about their conversation.
You're kind of creepy, but in the best way possible :D I love people watching myself and hearing funny conversations like that totally make my day :)
lol! Agree with one of the comments...love the line, "We both look like starving six year olds on stilts." Too funny!
I love that guys comment on where that girl can "go" once they become turtle/gorilla men. I gotta agree with him!
brilliant! i love to people watch too :)
I love the super "supportive" friend. LOL
BAHAHAHAHA
Pretty funny :-)
Conversations like this are the main reason I like working out at a college gym. My favorite was between two guys over the Hunger Games movie. One guy said to the other, "I know it sounds gay as sh*t, but that movie really made me want to read the book!"
I was seriously tempted to sidle up to them and say, "If reading's gay, then I don't want to be straight!" They were both quite a bit bigger than me, though, so I refrained. :)
@Logan81 I'd have done it. But then I am female and look delicate, and no big musclehead wants to be seen picking on a tiny lady!
@Logan81 LOL.. Hilarious and perfect answer. I love it.
Starving six year olds on stilts! Hahaha
Hilarious! I need to start eavesdropping on people more....
Dan, you crack me up.
People watching is my favorite thing about having to be in an airport.
I love people watching! In the days before kids, I felt sorry for anyone that I was out to dinner with. I was way more focused on hearing the conversations around me.
Funny....could totally picture the scene :)
I think this line had me laughing:
"It’s that I don’t think she should base whether she likes me on how much muscle I have."
I wonder how much stock he and his friend put in a woman's looks in determining whether they want to date her. And I wonder if that possible double standard was lost on them.
@JarredH EXACTLY what I was thinking!
@JarredH here here! bravoooo
Hilarious
Hmmm, I've heard similar conversations between women. Funny how some people get all hung up on the outward appearance. It was interesting hearing this from a guy's point of view. I wish you'd told them that not all girls like muscleheads. Have you seen how stiffly some of those guys walk? :-)
This an amazing conversation. Their metaphors are hysterical...starving six year olds on stilts. HA!
Guy #2 is right though - I wouldn't want to be in fear of having my ribs crushed every time a guy hugged me AND I would definitely go for someone who is hot inside out.
These are quickly becoming my favorite posts!
I can't decide if I'm laughing at what you wrote or if I'm laughing in anticipation of how someone will totally turn this around and flip out on you for what you overheard ...
Hilarious! Keep 'em coming!
totally epic!! Thanks for the insight. They must have put SOME stock in what the girl said, or they wouldn't be at the gym. Thanks for sharing. Underlying misguided tones aside..this was quite humorous!
Latest blog post: 15 Easy ways to Stay Fit.
LMAO I love these! Keep 'em coming!
Love it! I am such a people watcher/listener. I'm glad to know that other people share this with me!
Find somebody way hotter lmao
lol!
hialrious!!
LOL! THAT is classic! Thanks!
Love this!