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Epic People Watching – Episode 3

couple-slap-argue-funny

Last week, Noah and I walked to the coffee shop for some hot cocoa. We do it at least twice a month. We picked a table and waited for them to bring us our chocolaty goodness.

At the table next to us was a young couple. They couldn’t have been older than early twenties. The girl was all bundled up. Hat, scarf, thick coat, gloves. She was leaned-in close to him with an angry look on her face. The guy had draped his stay-warms across the table and was also leaning in. I couldn’t see her hand, but he was sporting a gold band signifying that they were married. They both took turns looking down and then looking at each other (though never at the same time). Neither of them were happy about whatever it was they were talking about.

After a few minutes our cocoa arrived and we began sipping it as we slipped further and further into sugary bliss.

I could sense the conversation happening next to us getting more heated. Eventually instead of just muddled whispers, the occasional phrase was said a little just a little too loud. I wasn’t trying to listen in, but it was hard not to.

Mumble mumble mumble mumble “yes I would!”

Mumble mumble mumble mumble “it was not that bad!”

Mumble mumble mumble mumble “we both got so tired of all the crap last time.”

Mumble mumble mumble mumble “you say that now!”

Mumble mumble mumble mumble “and what happens when you start spending more time with him than with me?”

Mumble mumble mumble mumble “and what about when your mom stays over?”

Mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble.

I thought we were hearing the side scraps of some epic drama that involved intrigue, jealousy, lover’s scorn, insecurity, and who knows what else. I always loved me a good real life soap opera, and I may have started eavesdropping more than I should have. Noah was content coloring.

Then out of nowhere, the guy started furiously putting on his coat and gloves and much too loudly said, “fine, you can get the stupid dog. Let’s go.”

It took everything I had not to bust out laughing.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. This blog post has also been recorded as a podcast. You know, if you’re into that kind of thing.

55 comments
Jes_Lynn
Jes_Lynn

LOL, this one reminds me of when my mom wanted her last cat. She started out with saying she was going to get a pair of kittens, and let dad talk her down to just one (which was all she wanted), so he felt like he was getting his way! :-)

AmandaK
AmandaK

People watching and unintentional eaves dropping are the best form of entertainment and totally free!

iameverywhere
iameverywhere

He's so cute!!!!  I'll take him if she's not interested.

Buphey
Buphey

Awesome!  Reminds me of my ex-husband and I. We came across a pup one day that touched our hearts but decided to go home to think. We traveled a lot at the time and lived in a very cold place.  We agreed that a dog didn't have a place in our world: they eat your shoes, you have to walk them when it is -20.  The next morning we each a little grumpy.  He looked at me and said, "You want the damn dog, don't you?" I said,"Yes, and so do you!" We got the dog :-)

RiotStarter
RiotStarter

My boyfriend and I were at Taco Bell one afternoon (I should add that is was one within a truck stop. We're strange people.) We overheard this LOVELY tidbit of a conversation, "You act like that's something to be proud of. She's your cousin. Your mom's sister's kid." 


...

Yeah...

Danielle Wooton
Danielle Wooton

The spending more time with him than me line is epic. Lol.. my wife and I decided 14 years ago to adopt a dog. 1 year later she said to me "If I had know you'd spend more time with him than me... and that you'd love him more than me I never would have said yes!" Ha! He's been the biggest joy of our lives ever since the first day! I "people watch" all the time! Some of the conversations I observe are seriously hysterical! Glad I'm not the only who enjoys this!

Peggy J Davenport
Peggy J Davenport

Hemingway also wrote of an overheard lovers discussion. White like Elephants. Overheard conversations are hard to miss and at times hard to pass up...and sometimes Dear God...when they are that young I now want to walk up and say " Stop....you two love each other...nothing is that bad and you'll regret this later if you part ways. Be ready to hold on through the years of marriage ahead but don't let go so easy and realize what doesn't seem easy now...will seem very so when real life crisis and stress and problems do happen. " I wish someone had told my 23 year old self that when I was young and married...and divorcing from someone who all I wanted was to hold hands with but once we began one simple stupid fight ( over MUFFINS) it snowballed and stubborn dumb youth alone kept driving between us without one single adult saying " hey kids...stop this nonsense and love your spouse.". Now divorced twice and 31 years old I...give a lot more tries than my stubborn self once would have. Don't let the BAD stuff pass by but DO let the fights about muffins go. If you forgot what you where fighting about...it's not worth divorce. 

Crystal Rivers
Crystal Rivers

OMG! That is epic. Sounds exactly like you were describing my husband and I. We would argue about getting a dog, we both want one but I am practical and know that we can't financially take on a dog and it wouldn't be good with an infant that will soon be crawling (in dog hair, no thanks).

DomiSM
DomiSM

Great story...reminds me of a 'discussion' my husband and I had when I wanted to get a new kitten :D We've had some funny discussions about animals, since we have quite a few pets. Once, we were in a grocery store and I'd picked up one of those colourful, plastic baby rattles...the kind that look like a big ring with bright keys hanging from it.  So we're in the checkout line and I picked it up and was looking more closely at it, and I said to my husband, "I don't know how we'll hang this from the cage..." I thought the lady in line behind us was going to die, her eyes got real wide and her jaw dropped to the floor...I had to hurriedly explain that we don't keep a child in a cage, but I was buying the rattle to hang from my parrot's cage! lol

Amy Merrill Kauer
Amy Merrill Kauer

Oh Dan! You crack me up! I've not smiled for days, and now, reading this was laughing out loud! You have such a wonderful way of doing things and telling stories! Thanks

modernmom23
modernmom23

my ex and I had the same fight over a cat.  That cat has been the best support of my life, and I still have HIM now.

dshnry
dshnry

"spending more time with him than me" - bahahahaaa!!!  Hilarious!

VitoMinneci
VitoMinneci

God I hope they never have kids.....

Arynn
Arynn

Rereading the line about 'all the crap last time' made me LOL because I am imagining them fighting over who gets to literally deal with the clean-ups. 

dorolerium
dorolerium

I just *might* have used my dogs as an excuse to not spend time with people when I'm done with them...

ErynPatton
ErynPatton

HEHE! That's so funny...people take that stuff seriously. I remember having a similar fight with my ex about taking in a cat my friend rescued. He ended being the sad/disappointed one when I said the cat to go because of our son's allergies. HA!

AnitaGravelle
AnitaGravelle

My husband had ALWAYS wanted a dog, but since he works 24 hour shifts, he felt it would not be fair to get one.  So, long before I moved in he made it clear that we'd be getting one if we ever took that step. To this day I tease him that he only "got me" so he could get a dog, now we have two. I swear he loves them more than he loves me  ;)   You definitely get more secure as you age, because I'm with "Gay Dad Laughing" that line just kills me too!! :)

Kendra Johnson
Kendra Johnson

I've overheard some pretty terrible ones in my day. I like to park outside the movie theatre with a friend, and watch the things people sneak in.

Sparrowchild
Sparrowchild

LOL!!!! I need to pay more attention to people around me. Except usually it's me and my friend or sister who someone else is listening to and start cracking up over what we are talking. I'd let the other person take the dog. No arguments there. =P

Jay Maree
Jay Maree

That's gonne be 'his' dog in about five m inutes of getting it! hehe.

KatieReagan
KatieReagan

My ex and I had this exact same fight.  So glad I have the dog now :)


Gay Dad Laughing
Gay Dad Laughing

 “and what happens when you start spending more time with him than with me?”

That line just kills me. My dogs have never caused me to not spend enough time with my loved ones, usually they are right there cuddling with us.

ChristineBT
ChristineBT

thanks today was not going great so I needed this little giggle

CrissyLance
CrissyLance

I love it!  Been there done that and ended up stuck with the stupid dog in the divorce!  Not that I don't love pets, but it cost me 250 on a pet deposit I had no money to pay and the little freak humped me all the time.  I think my ex taught him to do that to me on purpose!  Spent like 200 getting him fixed and then the lady next door begged me to let her have him when I was moving.  I gave her like 2 months of dog food I was so happy!

Shelby
Shelby

Nothing like a good fight at a coffee shop over getting a dog! I think I should have a similar one soon...mwahahaha.

Sara Skenandore Lybbert
Sara Skenandore Lybbert

:snorts: Although, if they're having that kind of a heated discussion over a dog, I shudder to think how they handle life's more difficult challenges.