- When my sister in law was little they were in line at the grocery store and the lady in front of them farted. My SIL lost it and said, “you farted! Right in my mouth! I’m just a little kid!”
- Grade ten, Fiji trip with school. In a cabin with three friends, all a little grumbly from food and water. Going to sleep, all is quiet. I literally farted for 10 seconds, loudly, and kind of high pitched and squeaky towards the end.
- Giving birth. With about SEVEN people in the room. Very very ladylike.
- While shopping with my mom once, she tooted down the aisle ahead of me, of course I didn’t know this at the time. She took off like a bat outta you know where. As I approached the spot where she had been, I realized what had occurred. Before I could make my escape, a lady with a child in her buggy came by. The child proclaims very loudly…..”mommy that girl just pooped her pants can you smell it?” The child was still talking about it when I passed them a few moments later heading to the checkout. The child points and says” mommy there is that girl that pooped her pants again”.
- I had recently started dating a guy and we were snuggling up watching a movie at my house for the first time. He was moving in and had his hand resting on my bum. I sneezed and farted on his hand at the same time.
- Church… was at the alter praying and the paster reached down to help me up and yep…farted, and his mic picked it up since he was bent over and the ENTIRE church heard me…i was sooo red! Stood up and said “Amen Lord, thank you for answered prayers.”
- Mine happened when I was in 7th grade. We were outside during gym class … running laps around the track. I had bad gas that afternoon, and a little audible “toot” escaped with every step I ran. It was my own private hell that anyone passing by could easily hear.
- In the middle of some mommy/daddy alone time–if ya know what I mean. I was so embarrassed and he laughed till he about fell off the bed! Oh my lord, talk about ruin the mood!
- In geometry class freshman year of HS. I sneezed and farted at the same time, and the fire alarm went off immediately after!
- I was completely numb from my epidural when in labor with my first child. loudest fart to ever come out of me and i didnt even know who done it!
- One time my husband & I were getting a couples massage at a resort spa. A fart sounded in the room & thinking it was me my very chivalrous husband said “excuse me” (trying to take the blame). In fact it wasn’t me so I just thought he was the culprit. After a few minutes the two masseuses burst out laughing b/c in fact one of THEM was the culprit.
- My sister was on a 1st date with a guy… Mexican food did not sit well.. driving home she thought it be safe and tried to silently release the unsettling gas. It was released alright, with a vengeance. There was complete silence for seconds… then her date busted out laughing and so did she. Window came down! They have now been married for 10 years.
- It was junior high…at a sleepover…in the middle of the night I went in to pee and proceeded to wake the whole house with a fart that sounded like a bazooka gun. Once her mom realized we weren’t under attack, we all laughed hysterically.
- I have no idea how to put this politely. But here goes… my ex was “downtown” and at the big moment… I farted at the same time. His face was right there! I was so mortified I rolled over, hid under the covers and cried…
- My husband is famous for his disgusting farts. So a few years ago we went to the supermarket after a nice fast food lunch. Yes, we were asking for trouble. There were 2 fartisodes that afternoon. The first, he saw a young boy walking down the aisle we had just walked down. “Watch this” he said. As I watched, the young boy walked normally past the cereal… then WHAM! He hit a wall. His face looked like he was watching a friend eat rotten brussel sprouts. He turned around and RAN. Yes, he actually ran. We laughed our butts off. Then we continued looking at the ice cream to choose our flavor. As I was bending down to compare the prices on the mint chocolate chip my husband let a HUGE and LOUD fart go. I jumped up just in time to see him making an apologetic face at an elderly woman and POINTING AT ME!!!!
And if that didn’t give you enough good laughs today, be sure to go read “The Fart that Almost Altered My Desitny” over on HaHas for HooHas. So funny.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Thank you for sharing these. I can’t tell you how hard I was laughing putting this together. And please… share your story or any other comment below!