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How does falling in love happen?

I mean, it happens so frequently to people in this world that it seems like it should be easy and somewhat effortless.

But it’s not. At least for me.

I really enjoy dating. With every new date I wonder if I might be about to meet the person I’ll end up falling in love with. Maybe it is the person I’ll spend the rest of my life with. I mean, all love has to start by meeting someone for the first time, right?

Yet after every date, or at least after several dates with each person, the answer ends up being no, before I ever fall in love.

Is falling in love really that difficult? Should it be challenging at all when I am blessed enough to be able to meet scores of people, all who are potentially wondering if I may be the person they’ll end up falling in love with; wondering if they might be about to meet the man they will spend the rest of their lives with? I mean, all love has to start by meeting someone for the first time, right?

And it’s not like I only date people who are I know I won’t love. I don’t seek out people with whom I already know it will fail like some others do. On the contrary, I seek out dates with people that are intelligent, successful, beautiful, down to earth, and funny, and I always seek out dates with the intent to see if something else more beautiful might develop.

And it’s not like I’m unlovable. I’m all those things I listed above as well. Many people are out looking for a guy just like me.

So why doesn’t it more easily fall into place?

How does falling in love happen?

Does it simply happen when two compatible people happen to be open to it at the exact right time?

Does it simply happen when some external force finally puts you with someone else?

Is it simply luck?

If I go on a date with a woman, what is it that will make me look at her and see her as someone better for me than the rest?

What is it that will make me, for some unknown reason, trust her with my deepest secrets?

What is it that will make me miss her when she’s only been gone for moments?

What will make me hang on her every word?

What has to happen for me to find myself experiencing twinges of insecurity and bouts of silly jealousy, hoping that she feels the same? Hoping that I’m not stupid. Hoping that I’m not on my way to a broken heart.

What transpires that will make me pass any chocolatier or florist and find myself unable to keep going without getting her at least something?

How does falling in love with her happen?

What is it about her that makes me suddenly push harder in those classes at the gym? Why do I suddenly lift more, run further, and stay longer after I meet her?

And why do I, without even thinking about it, let down my walls that I built to protect myself?

What happens that I suddenly trust her to see my biggest faults?

What happens that I suddenly trust that I am safe with her?

What happens that I suddenly trust that there is a future for us?

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE.

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!