And that’s when I felt my throat tighten. And my lips curl. And suddenly, with more effort than that person was probably using to hold in their fart to begin with, I was trying not to laugh. And if you were to look over at me, I’m sure you’d think I was having involuntary spasms. Spasms that I liked because the smile on my face was too big.
Had they just farted their tiny fart and left it at that, I would have been fine. But it was the response that really did me in for some reason.
And the more I thought about it, and the more I thought about not laughing, the harder it got, and I just buried my head in shame, knowing that I wasn’t hiding it well at all. It was not lost on me that I was about as mature as a twelve year old right then. And judging by the fact that I heard no giggles coming from anyone else, I must have been the only super childish one there.
Eventually I got it under control and the class moved on. I’d still smile from time to time, thinking about how hard I was trying not to laugh. Twenty minutes later we went into some other pose with a name I don’t know, but it’s where you lay with your knees to one side and then turn your head the other way while you lay on top of a bolster. This pose is not stressful and is actually quite nice.
And about two minutes into it, it happened.
Ffghgfhghtfghgfhght. (That was a longer fart sound.)
Still not from my bum. This one came from behind me as well, but from someone different this time. And once again it was immediately followed by a “uhuahghah.” No, that’s not right. It was more like “Oughghuoh.” No, that’s not right either. Just know that it was a short verbal cue that let the whole room know that the farter knew that they farted, and that they were embarrassed that they farted. The translation of their response would have been, “oh my god, I’m so embarrassed that I farted even worse than the other person, please don’t judge me!”
And I knew I was going to lose it this time. Once, I can not laugh at. Twice though?
I immediately took my head out of the pose and buried it in my pillow, willing the very powers of the universe to help me not laugh. My whole body tensed up, and I allowed myself a nice silent chuckle into the bolster. Then, I clamped that laughter off like a severed artery, and after a moment I looked around the room. Other faces were buried in bolsters as well. I’m pretty sure other people were summoning the anti-laughing gods just like I was.
Meryn had to leave class 15 minutes before it ended. Right in between fart number one and fart number two. Which bummed me out (no pun intended) because I didn’t have anybody to giggle about the farts with after class was over.
But that didn’t stop us from having an excellent giggle over text…
Okay, I just realized Meryn’s and my stories are slightly different. She thinks it was during happy baby pose. I think it was during Frog pose. Either way, it happened, and neither one of us was alone in our immaturity.
LOL. I know my own yoga fart is coming someday. Especially after this post. I suppose I deserve it when it does happen.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Nothing but love here. Please share your comments, including your own stories.