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It’s Time I Say the Words…

dan-pearce-laundry

When some people get down or discouraged, they drink. Other people turn to pain pills. Other people to cigarettes. Other people to drugs. Other people to food. Other people to religion.

Me, I turn to shopping. And, more specifically, clothes.

I may have a little clothes problem.

I realized this last week when I opened the door to my apartment after a morning run and was suddenly hit with the stench of six week’s worth of stinky underwear.

Sitting in my closet, were three laundry hampers, all heaping two or three feet above the tops of them. In those hampers were shirts, and pants, and socks, and underwear.

But not just any shirts. Regular shirts, yes. But gym shirts, too. And not just jeans, but gym shorts and warmup pants. And, gulp… not just underwear… but lots and lots of sweat-soaked gym underwear.

The smell of it all made me literally gag in my doorway. Why I hadn’t smelled it to that point, and why it suddenly hit me so strongly, is a mystery in and of itself. But it did. And it was strong. I would liken the smell to sticking your entire head into a linebacker’s navel.

Thankfully the Farmer’s Daughter wasn’t coming around for a couple days. Time enough to do my laundry and let it air out.

When I was done washing and drying the laundry (minus the bedding and towels), this is the pile of clothes that I had to put away. Please note that those pillows in the back are FIVE pillows tall. Not two.

bachelor-laundry

I don’t know if you can really grasp how much laundry that is since it’s all stacked so neatly. So, I counted it out for you:

  • Six sweatshirts.
  • Four pairs of sweatpants.
  • Sixteen gym shirts.
  • Eight pairs of gym shorts.
  • Eight gym pants.
  • 57 pairs of socks.
  • Nine button down shirts.
  • 34 t-shirts.
  • Five tank tops or sleeveless shirts.
  • 11 pairs of jeans.
  • 17 under shirts.
  • Two bathing suits.
  • 52 pairs of underwear.
  • Two pairs of pajama pants.
  • Two baseball caps.

It had been at least six weeks since the last time I did laundry. And you would think I was out of clothes. Oh, no. I still had the following clean and ready to go in my closet:

  • 47 shirts of different varieties.
  • Eight hoodies.
  • Four pair of sweat pants.
  • Nine dress shirts.
  • Five pairs of slacks.
  • 20 gym shirts.
  • Seven pair of gym shorts.
  • Eight pair of gym pants.
  • 14 pair of jeans.
  • Two bathing suits.
  • 41 pairs of shoes, boots, and other footwear.
  • Three dress coats.
  • Two rash guards.
  • Six pair of manpris.
  • 18 pair of shorts.
  • Nine sweaters.
  • One suit.

Six weeks, and I still had all that that I could have worn.

I think it’s time I say the words aloud…

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

397 comments
ShoqFullONuts
ShoqFullONuts

OK. You described it so vividly, I had to switch to another blog post afraid that pretty soon I'd be smelling the stinky underwear and socks... Yikes! ;-)

Minketab
Minketab

I"M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!! YAYYYYY!!! But actually I don't have a walk in closet so my clothes have taken over my bedroom.

KellsBellsTells
KellsBellsTells

You do have a problem, me too! I actually take all my summer, winter, spring, and fall clothing and put  it in bins and put the neccessary season in my closet, it helps...You need a purge though!!!!

BethanyCissna
BethanyCissna

I could never marry you. We would need an entire bedroom to store all our clothes. I sorry we couldn't work it out, even with your incredible beard. 

Fight4GayRights
Fight4GayRights

My one suggestion to you is to better organize your closet so you can keep better track of what you have. You can either just color coordinate regardless of the type of shirt or you can go crazy OCD like me and group by sleeve length, type of shirt, and color! :-) I'm also a "collector of clothes and shoes" and find it much easier to have an organized closet! Have fun with your clothes!

JessicaRech
JessicaRech

My boyfriend and I are the children of military parents, so we're all about multifunctional clothing. We only have so much room in our place and we REFUSE to get a storage shed or unit, so when something comes in something else must go out. Plus we also try to be money frugal, so we always ask 'do I really NEED this? Do I have something like this already?' before buying anything.

southernmomma
southernmomma

Yikes! I forget how many clothes I have all the time. My son has more clothes than anyone I know! ALTHOUGH, I give the clothes that he grows out of to families with little boys that need help. :) I do that with his toys too. It feels good to help out and I try to never make it seem like charity because I know that pride is hard to overcome. Try donating :)

MandyBice
MandyBice

Dan there is nothing wrong with your closet. Mine looks very similar, just more dresses and high heels. As for the possibility that you might be a hoarder or something like that I don't think so. Here are useful questions for anyone concerned: are you compelled to shop to the point it interferes with your life? Do you have mounting debt because of purchases? Do you hide purchases from people in your life? Not a comprehensive list by any means and I am not a psychologist, I just enjoy studying the subject. What I got out of this blog is you like clothes, and like having clothes for any occasion. There is nothing wrong with that. If you choose to go through your closet occasionally and donate items, good for you, but you are certainly not obligated to do so. If I'm ever in your area or you are in Florida I would love to go shopping with you and The Farmers Daughter.

MominTraining
MominTraining

That's a lot of clothes dude. I have a suggestion which will allow you to keep what you love and donate what you don't. Wash it ALL, nothing dirty except what you have on your body. When you put those clothes on their hangers(and hang as much as humanly possible), hang them backwards and when you pull it out to wear it, turn the hanger the correct way. In three months(since you swap season appropriate clothing this works well), donate anything you haven't worn in those three months. Do this with each time you swap seasons, while you may love clothes you may find you just don't love them the same anymore. It'll leave you with all your favorites, most worn and best applicable clothing while helping you clear out what you don't need and of course donating to a homeless shelter is an incredibly wonderful plus!

We went through clothes last year(you have more than a 30, 29, 7, and 6 year old btw...LOL!!!) and my husband and I pared down our PJs to a week's worth(at most, I have 3 bottoms and 4 tops...he has more). Any and all socks with holes immediately go into our cleaning cloth box, undies with holes are trash the minute the hole is found(unless I can repair it). We try to make sure if we buy a new coat(we've been the size we're at now for about 5 years), that we donate the one we had. I know you probably weren't looking for all that info, but I wanted to share in case you were interested. LOL

I'll confess though, my children have too many clothes!!!! I have less than 20 pieces total to my name, regardless of the season. I've got(and yes I know exactly what I have) 2 pair of Capri's, 2 pairs of Jeans, 1 pair of Bermuda Shorts, 6 T-Shirts, 2 Long Sleeves and a coat. Are we counting PJs? Cause if so I fibbed, I have 21 counting those. I own four pairs of freebie flip flops(dan check out the Old Navy Snappy Appy on google play or the istore) and a pair of Vibram Five Fingers(LOVE EM!). My kids however....oh my they have way too many! I shop the local church consignment sales twice a year and get them brand name barely used clothing for 0.50-2.00 each, so I'm ashamed to say...they have too many!

Oh holy cow..that was a big response. LOL Hopefully you got something useful from all that rambling!!

KathleenPatrick
KathleenPatrick

The first step is admitting you have a problem. Seriously dude, you have more clothes than my teenage daughter! You should figure out what you're not wearing anymore and donate it!

Kate11
Kate11

I think Im going to have to admit my clothing addiction after seeing your post I realized I have just as many clothes as you. I probably have 20 pairs of work pants alone lol I never wear most of my clothing I reallllly need to go thru it & get rid of a bunch but its so hard, bc it all fits & im like "BUT I MIGHT wear it one day....." LOL Im not as organized as you are I wish I was that OCD =)  btw your post made me want to go shopping hahhaha I could use some new shirts! Now  Ive got my 2yr old daughter to spoil, she has SO much clothing its insane. her closet could put both of our closets to shame

monzo
monzo

you're a hoarder and non clothes washer...you could donate everything you didn't clean and still be good...it would still be more than i have in all my drawers...how's your shoe situation? :)

Sonja
Sonja

I'm jealous!  Just curious... do you really wear all these clothes on a regular basis or do you just need to do some cleaning of house?  ;)

Tanya
Tanya

I'm jealous! Well done you for being the same size for the past eight years! I know you struggled with your weight in the last but that's awesome! My wardrobe is full of skinny clothes and ahem not so skinny clothes and OMG I gotta do something clothes and I bounce between them, hence I couldn't go too long without washing without running out of my favorites for the time being lol.

melissatshaw
melissatshaw

I'm right there with you, Dan.  Shopping makes me happy and since I've been the same size for a while I've accumulated a ton of shoes and clothes by buying a shirt here or a pair of jeans there, etc.  It's hard for some people to believe, but I wear all of it!  I regularly purge my closet of stuff I no longer wear, but I really like clothes and having a wide variety of items to choose from.    

MsXpat
MsXpat

That sure is a considerable amount of clothes, but hey if you use them at some point that's alright.

LadyMadonna2013
LadyMadonna2013

Hi Dan!

I love new clothes too. This may be hard to believe, but, if you go thru your clothes and donate the ones you aren't wearing often, your closet will feel so much more "new".  You will see the pieces you like more easily. And the laundry situation might not get so dire. Plus, someone else out there in the world might really need a 'new' jacket. Or jeans. (We are moving, so the Royal Purge is upon our closets.. it's been a lot of work but also really worth it!)  Thanks as always for an excellent blog!


Ashley6573
Ashley6573

Dan you have some seriously hateful people reading your blog.  Forget purging your closet, try purging your reader list instead. 

sharoncareybarker63
sharoncareybarker63

Helpful hint...ditch the extra clothes hampers that way you can keep your laundry washed more often and you won't be tempted to let it go cause you have not filled all your hampers ;-)


Jayay
Jayay

hey Dan ,it's fine being a clothesaholic.I love clothes too and that's what I want to spoil myself with....I'm 61 now but still like fashionable clothes and not old folks stuff at all. My kids ask when I'm going to grow up etc.... Well I'm not going to... But Dan you must get a grip with doing your laundry as that is just plain slobbishness. There are some dodgy folks who like skanky sweaty underwear and gym stuff but most folks DON'T

Icewolf
Icewolf

lol. I recently did a similar thing with my husbands and my laundry. we do laundry on a regular basis, but it only gets put away about once a month when I cant find that one thing I really want to wear. I separated his and mine on the king sized bed. He literally has twice as much clothes as I do. He just laughed when I called him a diva, but it was a real eye opener.

ShaneDennis
ShaneDennis

Wow. Just... wow. I have 4 pairs of pants, 1 skirt, 5 dresses, and about 15 shirts of all varieties. Plus 1 pair of sandals, 1 pair of boots, 2 sweaters and a coat. I'm sort of disgusted and amazed at the same time. What's the POINT?

BarbaraEvansRussell
BarbaraEvansRussell

LOL! We get that bad of a pileup here, but it's 2-3 weeks of laundry for 3 people. And yes it's awful. 

Miranda Ribbing Lundy
Miranda Ribbing Lundy

Um, how do I say this. I don't mean to attack or condemn, but this sickens me. I own two pairs of jeans, five pairs of dress, work pants, three sweaters, three jackets, two button downs, five camis, three blouses, three pairs of shorts, three pairs of capris, four dresses, and three pairs of work out capris and tops. Most of that was purchased second hand and is at least three years old. I can't even work all week without doing laundry. Of course I sacrifice a lot for my kids and I donate on a pretax basis straight from paycheck. I have a hard time buying for myself.

Magoop
Magoop

When I was in college, my single guy buddy offered to install my new car battery if I would do his laundry.  I had no idea it would be TEN loads!!  As it turned out, whenever he would need clean clothes, he would just buy some at the goodwill, so he had a ton!  Ah well-- he was one of my best buds-- what's a little laundry between friends? :)

Steve
Steve

First time looking at posts here. Cool, Do you have a child in your household

Bekah
Bekah

Haha I loved this one. (I've been reading for years just never commented before I don't think)

I recently discovered I am a bit of a clothesaholic too. But in the last month I have been purging my closets. I've donated two large boxes of coats and jackets, three large boxes of shoes and one garbage bag full of shoes. 8 garbage bags full of various clothes and three large boxes of other clothes. Plus I threw out some also. 

When I started my hall closet and bedroom closet they closely resembled yours (perhaps my bedroom one was a bit more full) And now my bedroom closet all the shelves are empty and half the hanging space is empty too. It actually feels really, really good. 

Elvis Snoopy
Elvis Snoopy

I was more disturbed by "6 pairs of manpris"

kellirose1313
kellirose1313

A good trick is to hang all your clothes in one direction. Then every time you take clothes out, put that hanger in facing the other way (hook in instead of out). At the end of a year, anything still facing in should be donated to charity.

You can also put everything in and hang something specific in the front, then hang all worn & washed again clothes in front of the thing. End of the year, donate everything still behind it.

clothes
clothes

My closet is a 10X15 room with three dressers, 46 feet of hanging space, and many, various plastic storage drawers and totes.  It has 4 different sizes of clothing, in every type and season.  I do take some comfort in the fact that I do not yet own 50-some pairs of underwear.......I must go shopping.....lol.

Jennifer Jennings
Jennifer Jennings

I have this problem, too ;[ It's just, it's so nice to have a piece of clothing for different occasions, you know? Like shorts for going out and shorts for the gym. Shorts that are comfortable and shorts that are sexy but not really comfortable. I'm not that bad but if I were rich, I would own my own store's worth of clothing...

christinepeck0811
christinepeck0811

Shopping is fine, but you need to follow the kid toy rule, if a new toy comes into the toy room an old toy goes out.  You have to donate or sell some of that before it all falls in on you, lol


CassieHooker
CassieHooker

Heh, this makes me giggle.  I am a woman, and I own exactly 4 pairs of usable pants, 10 tshirts, one skirt that I never use and 2 blouses. Oh, and one pair of winter boots that have holey soles and a pair of slip-on shoes for work.  I'm the least clothing-happy girl I know. :p

SandyConley
SandyConley

Was hoping the word you were going to say was "garagesale."  I mean, I'm the wrong gender and everything, but I currently own three pairs of pants that still actually fit.  I'd be willing to experiment!

azkittyd
azkittyd

I went through a time in my life I numbed the depression I was feeling in my marriage by going to Savers and shopping on dollar day often buying close to a hundred dollars worth of clothes.  when I got divorced I had to purge.  Gave away over 15 large garbage bags worth of clothes and I still have 2 totes full.  So I do know the feeling, but yeah I think you need to think about getting a place with (2) walk in closets for you and the Farmers Daughter. :)

JoeMacey
JoeMacey

As a fellow clothesaholic - I sympathize.  Last count I had somewhere in the neighborhood of 35 pairs of shoes.  I have two tuxes (One for big me, one for smaller me).  3 suits. 6 blazers. 25 jeans ( half of which do not fit) ...and more T-shirts than I will ever need.  The bottom layer of my T-shirt drawer rarely sees the light of day. 

Brandie 'Bodamer' Kenny
Brandie 'Bodamer' Kenny

Oh my Dan! LOL I am up a creek if I don't do laundry once a week! You have quite possibly the most clothes of any man I know. Oh and for the person who asked: "Manpris"= men's Capri pants.

AmyV
AmyV

<--reeling at 52 pairs of undies in 6 weeks.   ok.  I'm not going to think about this anymore.  

Jessica Ranee
Jessica Ranee

dude. you are the Imelda Marcos of underpants. 52 dirties?? omg LOL

Marilynne Smith
Marilynne Smith

You must buy clothing because you don't have to do the laundry for a very long time. Congratulations on getting it done.

Ashley Johnson
Ashley Johnson

Oh my gosh Dan, I'm lucky to have the 7 pairs of underwear that I do...if I don't do at least a load a week, I'm out of luck. My husband is laughing too, only because he's finally gotten a taste of what I've been doing with laundry since I haven't felt good.

KimMurphy
KimMurphy

WOW...wow...I'm speechless!!! There are only three of us and I have to do laundry at least once a week, but usually more.  I cant get over the fact that you had 52 pairs of dirty undies and still had clean ones!! But really Dan, 6 weeks without doing ANY laundry??? Shame on you, LOL.  Who washes  the boys clothes?? Is he a mini clothes horse too?? LOL I'm positive that you have more clothes and shoes than me, my hubster and teen age son put together! LOL

KathiBenson
KathiBenson

You have FOURTY ONE pairs of shoes?!?  I bow to you, you win, I lose....I shall now go home and cry in shame!

Joel Lee Gipson
Joel Lee Gipson

time for someone to give stuff to their local men's mission/shelter!

SsedDoga
SsedDoga

@Miranda Ribbing Lundy   so the issue is with you and your inability to buy things for yourself.. not for someone who probably accumulated that clothes over several years.   and you have more clothes then I do ( with the exception of skirts because i have some that are over 14 yrs old that I still have because I like them).   

SirPantero
SirPantero

@Steve Ummm... Single DAD Laughing is the name of the blog. 

SsedDoga
SsedDoga

@SirPantero  doesnt explain if he has full time custody.. any dad that is no longer married or never was married and not with the mother is a single dad.