the
post
visit the
blog
skip to
comments
lots more
sdl
get it in
your email

My First BIG Harley Fail

harley-leather-seat-chrome

Well, it’s official. I now have my first BIG Harley fail tucked under my belt.

The other day I was out in my garage, getting ready to take Delilah for a spin. I live in an apartment complex surrounded by garages. They’re all stacked, one right next to the other. We tenants who feel all sorts of special by having our own garage can rent them from the landlords.

I had just strapped on my helmet and mounted my bike when I suddenly heard this high-pitched wheieiieieieieiieeieieiie sound approaching. Kind of like a beefy weed whacker.

Another guy on a motorcycle, much smaller than mine, and definitely not a Harley-Davidson, passed by just as I started my ignition. He glanced over into my garage as he passed. I revved my huge non weed whacker Harley-Davidson engine, just to make sure he heard it.

I never felt like a badder bad ass than I did right at that moment.

I had my bad ass black leather Harley jacket on.

I had my bad ass Harley half helmet secured firmly to my head.

I was wearing my big black bad ass Harley boots.

I had on my bad ass Maui Jim’s sunglasses.

And I was ready to roll.

I put the bike into first gear and rolled out of the garage where I braked so that I could hit the garage door opener and stash my keys to which the opener was attached.

My bad ass Harley gloves were sitting in my lap. I always put them on after I shut the garage door.

And then… it happened.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

163 comments
TaraMay
TaraMay

The ex did something similar when he got his Roadstar many years ago, except he didn't stall. His first ride on his first motorcycle: He was bringing the bike from the back of the house which is on an incline. As he was riding it up the incline to get it into the street something happened with the clutch and he ended up riding up into the neighbors yard across the street (as I watch from the kitchen window and was peeing my pants I was laughing so hard). My son was playing in the street with his friends, who turned to him and asked, "is that your (step)dad?" The kid was so embarrassed. So after he regroups, he takes a ride through the neighborhood until it got dark and decided it would be best if he cut the engine at the top of the street so no one would hear him come back. He comes in the door and I asked, "How was your ride, Graceful?" One of the funniest moments I had ever seen.

Tonya N
Tonya N

Made my day!!! I did this once with my Big bad ass truck.  :) LOL.

Cheryl
Cheryl

LMFAO!!! My husband is looking at me funny right now because I am nearly peeing my pants!

darkness
darkness

hey... at least you didn't drop it...

BrookeEdde
BrookeEdde

My boy friend was teaching me to start his bike. I felt pretty bad ass on it as my roommate came home with his girl friend they gave me an approving thumbs up. Then i got of the bike so my boyfriend could have it Back. Not remembering the kick stand tipped the bike over... Ooops

JCLord
JCLord

I totally have to bail from this discussion. As a motorcycle rider, I can't stand the comments like "I can't wait for the second fail" and "ah karma." There are NO funny fails in motorcycle riding.

Karin
Karin

Can't wait for the second fail.

LMAO.

Christina Orcino Sherman
Christina Orcino Sherman

That was awesome! Same kind of thing used to happen to me in my convertible. At least you can laugh at yourself about it. ;)

Michelle Amlin-Girty
Michelle Amlin-Girty

Dan, showing off ur bad self is what can become a huge mistake. do not pay attention to others around u. pay attention to what ur doing! and remember ur cool, u dont have to prove it.

KellsBellsTells
KellsBellsTells

There are no real Bad Ass Harley Drivers so please, use a check list, always be safe, and never show off, that is when you look plain silly on a loud motorcycle! LOL!  I will be on the back of a BMW Touring bike, waiving hi on the highway. Just be glad you didn't drop the bike......


jeffinerd
jeffinerd

At least you didn't drop it. I thought you were gonna drop it when it jerked forward!

Jera
Jera

Ah, karma . . .

DanielScott1
DanielScott1

Before I got the the part of your story where the guy say, "it’s okay man. It happens to all of us", I swear those were the exact words I was going to post because it does happen to all of us.  Just be thankful that you didn't actually drop the bike, which could have easily happened. LOL

AmandaAxeenLong
AmandaAxeenLong

My dad has a Harley and when I was in college I asked my dad to fallow me to the Cambus barn b/c I was going to drive the end shift which starts at the office but ends at the barn.  So, I needed a ride from the bard to the office.  My dad decided it was a perfect night to give me a ride on his bike.  We pulled up to an intersection when a college guy pulls up next to us on his crotch rocket with his girl friend on his back.  While we waited the 30 seconds for the light to turn green he kept reviving up his bike as my dad just left his Harley rumble in idle.  When my dad dropped me off at work I turned to him and said, "I think someone wanted to prove something to his girlfriend."  My dad looked at me and said, "Yeah, I didn't want to kill his manliness so I didn't respond."

TrevorWilde
TrevorWilde

A friend once said to me. "Do you know what the worst part about buying a sports bike is? Telling your parents your gay." Shortly after that he bought a Harley and so to him I said, "Wow, that was brave of you, admitting that you had to pay thousands to feel like you had something big and powerful between your legs."

Troy Maxfield
Troy Maxfield

Loved it! Had a similar moment 2 weeks ago when I brought my bad assed custom 1700 Road Star home. Best to be humbled early and move on quickly. Enjoy that bike and keep the rubber side down.

Birch
Birch

That's the annoying thing about” Harley guys” a opposed to bikers who ride harley s.

Amzie Hendryx
Amzie Hendryx

LMAO.....too damn good! Gotta love karma...she levels the playing field like nobody's business. The worst I have ever heard of...not personally witnessed mind you, is exiting the scoot - but forgetting to put the kickstand down. That has really got to put a dent in the ole pride - not to mention the pride-and-joy!

kristin.schill
kristin.schill

MWaahahahaaaahahaaa!!!!! He's totally right though.  

While I've never had an official accident on a motocycle, I have 'fallen over.'  Once when my dad was still teaching me & I was only like 8, so that didn't really count.  The other time though I was out with all my cousins, a big gang of dirt bikers up in the mountains taking The Big 6 hour ride.  Anyway, the rule for going up the really steep part of the trails is that you don't start up it until the person in front of you has made it.  This part had some really deep ruts.  My brother was ahead of me and I followed him up, but saw that he'd stalled ahead of me just around a bend, so I stopped my bike on the middle of the steep trail & set my foot down to wait.  and down... and down... and fell over.  Yeah, I tried to set my foot down into the rut.  and fell over.  Sigh.

I can tell you though, there's nothing like trying to kick start your dirt bike on a steep muddy slope next to a deep rut.  :D

treefrogmom
treefrogmom

Doesn't mean your not bad-ass, just means you have another cool story to tell.

Emily Smith
Emily Smith

Congrats on the Harley! My father in law is the general manager of some Harley stores in the Chicagoland area, and my hubby has one. A Dyna Sport. I hope you ride with proper protective gear and have a blast! I loved the feel of the summer sun and the smell of the fresh air on the grass and fields all around us as we ride. Though my backseat spot is not very comfortable, so we can't ever go on too long of rides, lol. Ride safe!

Barbara Evans Russell
Barbara Evans Russell

Oh Humility-serving Karma, let me count the ways! :-) Glad you didn't get hurt anyplace but your pride!

JohnPriest
JohnPriest

He's right, it happens to the best of us...and the not so best of us.  You just gotta grin and bear it and drive off like nothing happened.  The real fun comes the first time you have to lift the bike back up after dropping it...

Amanda Keith-Beasley
Amanda Keith-Beasley

I needed that laugh!!!!! My husband took the baffles(?) out of his first bike because he was to cheap to buy new pipes. It sounded OK until he got showed up buy an old man larger than large with brand new Vansen Hines(?) Not sure if those are the right words but you get the point ;)

Sheree Speirs McGrath
Sheree Speirs McGrath

OMG!!!! That was my laugh of the day!! No, I am not laughing at you, I am laughing with you!! You are laughing right?????

Marysmuse
Marysmuse

... LOL Sorry hon, but yeah... that is pretty funny. Way to go. LOL But hey... your bike STILL doesn't sound like a weedeater on steroids. So you have room to laugh and be the bigger man. ;)

Tanya Frey
Tanya Frey

My nephew had a brand new Harley and when he went on his first ride he started to go and shot forward, crashed right into a ditch on the other side of the street. Dented it a little but was mostly ok.

Tanya Frey
Tanya Frey

OHMYGAWDISTHEHARLEYOK?! Oh yeah, you're ok too right Dan? ;)

Helenvan
Helenvan

well dang it.....that wasn't smooth, you'll get it next time

MelendineJeremiah
MelendineJeremiah

I tried to rev my moped once. It would have helped if I had the break on. As due to a built in safety measure the accelerator doesn't work unless you have the break on when you are starting the bike. So I was there twisting the accelerator in silence for about 5 seconds with everyone starting at me before I remembered. 

melisaanderson74
melisaanderson74

The first time I had my Harley out on the street, I stalled it 4...yes I said 4 times at the first stop sign. I was almost in tears by the time I got it going. The d-bag behind me honking his horn didn't help. lol And then there was the time I went to swing my leg over to get off the bike only to have my pants leg catch on the peg. It leaned too far over, and I couldn't stop it so I tried let it fall as softly as it could. The neighbor was outside and watched the whole thing. He helped me pick it up with his 1 good arm as the other was in a cast while promising not to tell my husband. I told him anyway :)

incysor
incysor

Coulda been worse.  At least you didn't let it lean over enough to need his help getting it back up.  I stopped a couple days ago and got out of my car to help a fellow cruiser rider that had obviously laid his down at a stop sign.  He'd leaned it over to the right too far and had managed to lift it off the pavement.  But he was stuck on the right side of his monster cruiser.  The road dipped into the gutter on that side, which placed him too low to remount from that side, and the slope made it impossible to hold the bike upright while he got around to the left side.  Unfortunately that was also the side where the kickstand was, so he couldn't reach it.  I don't know how long he'd been standing there til I stopped and put his stand down for him, but he was sweating pretty good.  :)

Mandy Moore
Mandy Moore

He is right though! It happens to all of us!!!!! And it never happens when your alone lol always in front of the ones we want to make jealous lol

Rixanne
Rixanne

lol oh you poor tough guy.  I know, tough guys don't need no stinkin' sympathy cuz you're tough.  It's ok to flex and hurt yourself doing it bahahaha ;)  thanks for the laugh, definitely needed it today.

Kellie Jones
Kellie Jones

Karma is a beautiful thing isn't it?  When I start to get full of myself, Karma reaches down and bitch slaps me a good one.  Thankfully yours was just a warning tap.  :)

HeatherSmull
HeatherSmull

Hahaha!  He's right though, it has happened to all of us.  You're still more bad-ass than the people that look down their noses at our two-wheeled monsters.  :)

Rebecca Kennedy
Rebecca Kennedy

"S'cuse the southern drawl, but I come from SC. Darling, How old are you!!?? Never mind, Darling, Don't you need to be a role model to your child!!?? Pay no 'tention to me. Darling, You just go out there with your head held high, wearing all your Harley duds, and have a good time. You deserve to do so and your boy needs to see you expanding your life and enjoying the day. Love your posts!!

Jay Barber
Jay Barber

We've all done it. I've been riding for over a decade and I still stall out from time to time. At least you didn't drop it.

JenTeale
JenTeale

Omg Dan, I'm still laughing.  Great post!

Mary Stock
Mary Stock

*Derp*. I have driven a stick shift car. Could be worse. You could have rolled down the hill backwards....

TamCristman
TamCristman

I has just gotten voted in as a member of the "Red Knights" motorcycle club.  (A club for firefighters.)  We were getting ready to leave I started up my Harley, went to pull out, and hit wet grass.  She slid to the right, I corrected, and then slid to the left and I gunned her out of it like a dirt bike and got her back under control.  Here I was then riding down the road with the guys behind me feeling like the biggest weenie!  At the next meeting I was asked, "Did you hurt your back, did you pull any muscles?"  I assured them I hadn't... then it came,  "That was SOOOO COOOL!  Dang, that was awesome riding!  You should have seen the rest of us, we looked like a bunch of kids on tricycles pulling out as we did not want to dump our bikes!"  

Janie McNeil
Janie McNeil

Lol! Guy was totally class about it though so you got off light ;-)

joyfulgritsgirl
joyfulgritsgirl

@JCLord Aww, lighten up, JC. That story was funny! A story about getting hurt wouldn't be funny at all, for sure. But karma sneaking up and biting Dan in the arse - that's funny!