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My Money Ain’t Your Business

hydroplane and dollars

As I mentioned on Tuesday, I purchased a brand new motorcycle.

I have to say, I am constantly flabbergasted at how many people think that other people’s money and how they spend it is any of their business.

On the way home from the dealership, I saw that I had a missed call from my mom so I called her back. At the end of the call, I told her about my new Harley, expecting her to be excited since she loves motorcycles and already knew I was thinking about getting one. The first thing she said was, “how can you even afford that?”

I was annoyed, but she is my mom so I get it. I don’t ever tell her much of anything about my current finances and the last thing she really heard from me was that I was broke as a joke a couple years ago.

Many of you were around back then when I was actually losing money trying to figure out how to make this blogging gig work. I even asked if some of you would be willing to donate a buck or two each month to pay for the cost of my server while I got through the roughest of it.

But then, and largely because of that, everything fell into place. What “fell into place” means is for me to know only, not anyone else. I simply told you all I was good and it was totally cool if you cancelled your donations.

That is where my need to justify my purchases to anyone ever again officially ended.

Until the day I’m asking others for money or owing people money, my money ain’t anyone else’s business.

Yes, I bought a brand new 2013 Harley-Davidson Softail Heritage motorcycle yesterday.

The following scenarios are all possible.

  • I paid straight up cash for it because I’m doing that well.
  • Harley gave it to me in exchange for advertising on my blog.
  • I have been putting aside $83/month for the last twenty years for this bike and finally emptied my piggy bank to get it.
  • I robbed my kid’s trust fund.
  • I got a killer loan with a 0% interest rate over five years.
  • I got a really crappy loan and I am paying 29.99% interest on a ten-year loan.
  • Harley was selling ten bikes for ten bucks each to the first ten people who could recite the entire Harley’s owner manual from memory without messing up.
  • I found hidden pirate’s treasure.
  • A small airplane was flying overhead and dumped a huge load of $100 bills on top of me.
  • I found enough change by digging in my couch cushions.
  • The owner of my local Harley dealership needed a kidney so we traded. A bike for an organ.
  • I sold my rare collection of Garbage Pail Kid cards.
  • I schmoozled up to a dying rich old woman long enough to get a free ride.
  • I sold my soul.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

275 comments
Suzy
Suzy

I know what you mean. I bought my husband a 2012 Dyna Wide Glide for a wedding present, and people are STILL asking me if I think I can afford it! Well, duh... I've been affording it fine thusfar, haven't I? And then my sister, "How much do you make on disability, anyway?" Cuz I'm really going to answer that question.

Jessicaellen
Jessicaellen

Amen! Not only do I think that what any single person makes is no one else's business except for perhaps their spouse, but I also think society is too focused on it. How about spending more quality time with our children, how about taking better care of ourselves, our home, our things, our animals, or neighbors, or the world? Whendid the importance of life, jumping in puddles, and smelling the roses become over shadowed by how much money we have or make or save or spend? I think it is a sad state of affairs and broavo for speaking up about it!

Ono
Ono

I don't wish to ask you how you got the money or where, I just want to say be careful out there. I've had two friends mangled from accidents and one friend die in a horrific accident on their motorcycles.

OpinionatedReader
OpinionatedReader

My family do the same to me, always trying to find out how much money I have while criticizing what I spend it on. Since nothing else in my life has anything whatsoever to do with them, I'm constantly surprised how they (and others) think they have the right to snoop and judge. Maybe they're jealous because they put it all into a college fund and they secretly wanted to splurge but feared criticism. And now you have splurged, their insecurity and jealousy comes out.

zebostoneleigh
zebostoneleigh

I don't care how you spend your money - as long as you have it to spend (now and in the future). My frustration lies in seeing/knowing people close to me spend money they definitely don't have on things they definitely don't need.

A close friend in his late 30s has $10s of thousands of consumer debt, almost no retirement fund, three cars (considering a fourth), a growing sizable collection of electronics and gadgets, Amazon Prime, and DirecTV, etc... From time to time, his gainfully employed parents call to ask him for money to pay their mortgage or any number of vital expenses they can't seem to afford themselves - and he's not their only source of charitable contributions. I see a pattern. And then I wonder how much of my time and money go toward helping in others in situations caused by similar disregard for financial wisdom. So - no, I don't care how you spend your money - as long as you have it to spend (now and in the future).

JessV
JessV

You're a celebrity!  That's why we all get to judge you mercilessly!

(kidding...   seriously people need to get a life if they're worried about how you spend your money.)

realtorjamie
realtorjamie

Good post.  I think people are  too obsessed with other people, period.  Money, career choice, relationships, how many children people should (or should not) have.....it all goes back to worry about yourselves, MYOB! 


gardenlobster
gardenlobster

This time I disagree with you, Dan. I think people are so afraid to talk openly and honestly about money that our culture is set up perfectly for income inequality and people just don't know how to talk about it politely. Until we can open up and talk about these things, women will continue to earn 80 cents per a man's dollar, minorities will continue to earn 95 cents per a white dollar. Our kids get spam credit card offers when they start college - why? Because so many of them respond by signing up! We can't talk to our kids, our spouses, or each other about money because it's so taboo. What a way for the banking & lending industry to have control over everyone and everything! Granted, "college fund" person was out of line (after all, unless they know your philosophy on college funds vs. loans vs. working, how would they know to say that?). But this is one of those topics we shouldn't be afraid to discuss and the more we do the better we'll get at it. And even if someone makes a stupid decision, respect it.

Jennjustruns
Jennjustruns

Yes, people are WAY to nosy about other people's money!  I'm a single mom that struggles financially from time to time.  But I'm a grown women with a college degree and a career.....I can budget my own money and decide how to spend it.  I'm a runner, so I like to run races.  I save throughout the year to put several good races on my calendar in the fall and winter...and every year at least one person has to butt in with their comments.  God forbid I do something for myself.  What they don't think about is that my budgeting and saving for my "extras" has set a great example for my kids.  They know how to save, budget, and work hard. 

Emily Kerby
Emily Kerby

Huh? This topic would contradict the original rant. Families that have inadequate income to support their kids often rely upon public assistance for medical care, food, education, etc. Public assistance = you're spending MY money, and your other responsible neighbors' money. If you're good at living on a budget and you're prioritizing having kids instead of fancier cars or eating out all the time or whatever, that's awesome...but planning to spend other people's money (aka planning to rely on public assistance) is not cool.

Joy Hoskin
Joy Hoskin

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Kelly Rose
Kelly Rose

Oh, yes.  We all spend way too much time making judgements about other people - about their money, their clothes, their cars, their lifestyles, their relationships, their children, their bodies, their choices.  Most of the time, what they choose to talk about is all negative, all critical, all the time.  I wonder, why do we do that?  Seriously, look at the popularity of reality TV.  I actually had someone tell me that she watched it so that she could look at her own life and not feel bad.  Why do we think so little of ourselves that we have to make someone else out to be less?

Michelle Zenner-Bertels
Michelle Zenner-Bertels

If you knew the dead guys I knew (who also used to own Harley's) and have the same number of friends with metal plates in their head, you would be accepting good advice by affording a big life & accident insurance policy. Yes, I'm one of *those people* LOL Oh, and the other scenario you may want to list concerning how you can afford this: You borrowed it from a friend. And you should please let everyone know that this friend is only missing and you really don't know where to find the body, yet. (I'm so sick....but real nonetheless... LOL. Nice to find your blog today by way of Russian dash cam kindness._enjoy_ )

carlisimo
carlisimo

Keep in mind that people might read an old blog post about your struggles with money, and not realize it was written years ago and everything has changed since.  And as a blogger you've opened up to us about so many intimate subjects, that it's hard for us to remember there are lines not to cross, and topics for which you don't want our comments.


But hey, congrats!  All I ask is that you don't put on those loud pipes that hurt the ears of everyone else around you.  I'll be honest, I have a thing against Harleys because of how common those seem to be. 

Cheri
Cheri

I love your new Harley and am so excited for you. That being said, I couldn't care one iota less how you purchased it, truly. However, when we put ourselves out there and share details with random strangers we can only expect the rude ones (not your Mom of course) to chime in with his or her opinions. It's just the nature of the beast. Don't let the turkeys get you down and remember to wear your helmet. :)

Lori Hall
Lori Hall

When u talk about personal things openly people feel like they can ask u anything it happens in everyday life. All you do is say you don't want to answer that no big deal.

Lori Hall
Lori Hall

It may be nobody's business but

Melissa McIntyre
Melissa McIntyre

Here is my question. Would people still have their panties in a wad if he had bought a new car? No they wouldn't. They are only getting bent because it is a motorcycle.

Melissa McIntyre
Melissa McIntyre

No one has the right to ask someone about their finances. Anyone who thinks they do is a very nosy person. There are certain things you don't ask a person. Finances are one, even if they are a blogger.

Melissa McIntyre
Melissa McIntyre

How he spends his money is not part of the territory. That is just plain nosy. No one asks a celebrity about how they spend their money and they drop millions of dollars. No one questions them about how much they make. Yes, Dan has allowed us to be part of his life, but that doesn't mean we get full access to every part, that includes his finances. He still is entitled to privacy. He can chose to share or not share what ever he wants.

Rayna Finley Velarde
Rayna Finley Velarde

I was taught growing up that there are three things that should never be discussed in civilized conversation... Religion, Politics, or Money! It was considered rude ask about other peoples money.

Katie Sargent
Katie Sargent

Enjoy your new toy and do it how ever you want to enjoy it!!!! (I don't care how you got it)

wordsnerd
wordsnerd

People are too obsessed with money and things in general. When I read your Harley purchasing post, I must admit, I wished I could afford a beautiful bike like that. I love Harleys. But you know what? I'm not in a place in my own life where I can, nor would I want to, splurge in exactly that way just now. I actually tend to talk pretty openly about my finances because I believe that if we had more information, we may not be so eager to keep up with the neighbors (who may be deeply in debt for all we know). We may be able to help each other more if money weren't such a taboo subject. Right up there with politics and religion. Anyway, enjoy your ride. It's awesome. I'm hoping to have a Harley sometime in the future, after my minivan phase of life is through ;)

AnonymousXXX
AnonymousXXX

This is so genius...you let people in on the intricate and personal details of your life and parenting and family...make money off posting endless pages about mostly yourself...let people follow you on facebook, hundreds of whom you dont know and give them the ability to comment...and then you spend the next countless posts lecturing and complaining and defending yourself. You are a great writer but this website is SO self obsessed. Its like you are trying to create a cult of people that will know everything about you from your posts and then hate them when they ask questions, disagree. Its amazing that you found a way to make money by just talking about yourself all day but gosh, its exhausting. Does anyone let alone everyone really need to know this much about dan pearce?! Not to mention how many "shocking reveals" there have been....its like the afternoon tv soap opera that has exhausted every type of situation or drama possible. Bullying/depression/eating disorder/gay/not gay/bisexual/mormon/not mormon...its SO much that its TOO much and just sounds like a guy who needs a lot of attention. Maybe the cyber w

Laura Railing
Laura Railing

My FAVORITE response to "you look like you have your hands full!" is "Better full than empty!" Kids=blessings and my business how many I have!

Connie Bannick Kemner
Connie Bannick Kemner

^^LOL^^ I see the requests for helmet wearing as proof that people care enough to want Dan around for a good long time. I'd miss the posts. :)

JohanneLamarre
JohanneLamarre

and I agree with the fella who says you should call your bike "Joy"

JohanneLamarre
JohanneLamarre

yes - people are way too interested in the finances of others - I won't sermonize (is that even a word?) right now, but I will say: HOW AWESOME FOR YOU!!!!!!! I had abike many years ago and my retirement dream is to get another and travel with it - so good for you :)

Wendy Ann McKeon
Wendy Ann McKeon

Wow, people can be such douchebags. When I saw your post about the Harley, my though was "WOW! Good for you! Have fun and be safe." It's no ones business how you spend YOUR money. If they've got a problem with it, then they can go out the same way they came in. :)

kkral
kkral

I'd be pissed too!! People don't seem to give a crap about other people anymore, all they care about is making sure the other person doesn't have something they can't afford!!

Verityvee
Verityvee

Wow, folk really aren't letting you just enjoy this Harley, huh?!?! First all the scare-mongering, and now the money querying? Geez...I don't get why people need to know anyway? What difference would knowing make? 

My own money-related pet hate is when people start whining on about their money woes...I don't share tales of my finances with anyone other than my partner (and even then only if its a joint account issue) or the bank....I REALLY don't want to hear/read about other people's problems with money when I didn't raise the question, and no one else did either (to the best of my knowledge)...It feels like a cross between begging and guilt-tripping...I know with the best will in the world that most people don't intend it as that but it pops up time and again...Gotta tell ya: I am less inclined to help the people who keep going on about how hard life is. The people that put their heads down and get on with it are the ones with my sympathy, my support, and - where possible - my anonymous gifts...I'll even be supportive to the best of my ability to the people that specifically ask me for some advice or sympathy, but this "one-low-man-ship" leaves me completely cold.....


and, to preempt the people that this will offend - Penguins!

cmt123
cmt123

I'm sure you will continue to get the evil eye from even the people around you...But who cares?  My thought when you got it was that it must have been an investment for the short term (i.e. your car died and you still needed a ride) and since Harleys are valuable, you figured you'd ride it a while, save some cash and trade it at the end of the summer...Seem reasonable and rational to me!

In the meantime, have fun!

kataqu
kataqu

I'm envious of ANYONE who can afford fancy, Welsh, garden gnomes.

knightndaze
knightndaze

Well damn. I didn't care and it didn't occur to me to think about it until you wrote this. Now I wanna know. I think it's only because you're saying I can't know :D Teeeeelllllll meeeeeeeeee - you held a Leprechaun to ransom, didn't you?

Kate Hatton
Kate Hatton

Sadly, Dan, you became other people's business when you became a viral blogger - you're public property, just like famous actors and actresses - I feel your pain, but am a bit surprised you don't 'get' that it comes with the territory. Celebrities like the fame but don't like the lack of privacy that goes with it - doesn't make it right, just that's the way the cookie crumbles.... :/

Hilary Blenkinsop
Hilary Blenkinsop

Really don't care what he does with his money, or if he needed help a while ago, I was just stating a general opinion that I happen to hold over why some people would make it their business. Not that I agree with it. Calm down, I'm not attacking him. Holy...can't say anything on here that doesn't fully agree with you all...

Hilary Blenkinsop
Hilary Blenkinsop

Thanks Buffy, I sure did research it. I also enjoy his blog, and I'm more than allowed to have a differing opinion than you, and I'm pretty sure I can speak it.

Buffy Escue
Buffy Escue

Yeahhh...I agree with Mary, if you truly followed all of that you would know exactly what was done with the money. Might want to research before speaking out there, Hilary.

Mary Schneider
Mary Schneider

lol I love how every one of us is telling you "it's no one's business what you do" and advising you to wear a helmet in the same post... it's 'cause we love ya, Dan!

Barbie Wood
Barbie Wood

Dan, wouldn't your time be better spent out on the open road? ;)

HarryBaer
HarryBaer

Ugh.  I hate to do this... 

Unfortunately, Dan, you're living somewhat in the public eye, and that makes a larger number of people than average think they have the right to tell you what to do with your money.  Or your life.  Or your child.  Or anything.  I'm not saying it's right.  I'm just saying, I guess, "get used to it", because it's probably not going to change, unless you fall out of the public eye, however little you're IN it in the grand scheme of things.  I'm not saying you shouldn't respond; I'm saying that it's probably wise to expect it to continue even if you do.    

I have no interest in your finances, nor anyone's other than my own.  But I know that people will say what they will.  And they have the right to say it.  And you have the right to respond in any way other than with violence.  But I wouldn't expect it to stop.  We're all connected, like it or not, and people are going to be all up in your weave.  It's just the sad truth.  

Gabriel Loki Harrison
Gabriel Loki Harrison

I would argue the social responsibility of doing something like that, but then, if I wait until I am financially ready, I'll probably never have kids ^^

Sparrowchild
Sparrowchild

Haha...yea, your money is your business, unless you owe me money, in which case I'd confiscate your Harley! Bwhahahahah! No, not really. :) I think that it is only the place of close friends and family to Maybe have a little say in one's finances, but even then, it still comes down to a person's own decision and priorities. I don't care what people do with their money just so long as they aren't mooching off of me.

My ex husband did that. That's why he is an ex. I have a friend who I am still friends with, but I used to pay for things for her all the time; going out to eat, that sort of thing. Until I realized that the only reason she never has money is not because of bills, or food, it's because she spends it all on superfluous things she orders off the internet. That's fine. She can do that. But I no longer offer to pay for going out to eat or coffee or anything because I shouldn't have to pay for those things to hang out with her just because she doesn't know how to manage her finances. It was becoming more of a burden to spend time with her. Now, we still hang out, but I don't pay for everything and all is well. :)

My roommates finances are only partially my business simply because I lower the subrent they pay me if they aren't getting enough hours for their job n stuff and then I put it back where it was originally when they aren't having to choose between food and rent.

Kelly Rose
Kelly Rose

@gardenlobster  Keep in mind that there is a difference between choosing to keep personal information to one's self and being "afraid" to talk about something.  Who says having a conversation about money is taboo? The problem is that people want to talk about money and feel they have the right to talk about other people's money.   Using tax debates and income inequality debates to justify it doesn't make it right.  Personal finances are every bit as private medical information and your sex life. While it's one thing to say "I'm here if you want to talk" It's just rude to ask detailed questions without being invited.

Kelly Rose
Kelly Rose

@Jennjustruns  - oh Goodness!  If you don't want a roomate, and don't need a roommate, please don't let anyone pressure you into taking on a roommate!  I've got some "roommate from hell" stories from my best friend.  Your home is your sanctuary.  Dont' let anyone talk you into giving that up because "THEY" think you ought to!

VickieBligh
VickieBligh

Feel entitled much? You don't like what Dan posts, leave. He owes you nothing. Too bad you feel entitled to every aspect of his life.