I was reading about fears in Men’s Health Magazine the other day, and they were talking about the most common fears people have and how you can get over them. Fear of spiders and snakes, for example. Heights. Needles. You get the picture.
Then it listed a few of the more strange fears that people experience. Fear of foreplay, fear of hearing good news, you get the idea.
Sadly, next to those fears, they listed no advice for overcoming them or words of reason, so I decided to make my own list of strange fears and to be real with you all about it…
Oh, and sadly we live in a society where I have to say this: In no way am I being serious in ANYTHING that I share below. Except the first one, Blennophobia.
2. Stop looking for a cure.
3. What’s really scary is people who aren’t scared of mucus or slime.
2. Fill them all to maximum capcity.
3. Blow them all away with your kid’s BB gun (except for one).
4. Snuggle all night long with the last balloon.
2. Do naughty stuff with each other.
3. Realize… holy crap that was fun.
4. Wash and repeat cycle.
2. Dream that we both somehow woke up with a million dollars.
3. If all else fails, dream that your dreams never come to life. You know… trick them.
2. Either you will find beards to be the sexiest things ever.
3. Or, there is a good chance your fear will get much, much worse.
Well, so long as we could also stop aging, too.
Growing old forever would NOT be awesome.
Crap. We can’t stop aging. I don’t want to live forever…
I think I now have a new phobia.