Burst your bubble

I was reading about fears in Men’s Health Magazine the other day, and they were talking about the most common fears people have and how you can get over them. Fear of spiders and snakes, for example. Heights. Needles. You get the picture.

Then it listed a few of the more strange fears that people experience. Fear of foreplay, fear of hearing good news, you get the idea.

Sadly, next to those fears, they listed no advice for overcoming them or words of reason, so I decided to make my own list of strange fears and to be real with you all about it…

Oh, and sadly we live in a society where I have to say this: In no way am I being serious in ANYTHING that I share below. Except the first one, Blennophobia.

Fear of slime or mucus
SDL’s Steps to Cure:
1. This is a very reasonable fear.

2. Stop looking for a cure.

3. What’s really scary is people who aren’t scared of mucus or slime.

Fear of balloons popping
SDL’s Steps to Cure:
1. Buy 300-400 balloons of various sizes.

2. Fill them all to maximum capcity.

3. Blow them all away with your kid’s BB gun (except for one).

4. Snuggle all night long with the last balloon.

Fear of foreplay
SDL’s Steps to Cure:
1. Both of you take off your clothes.

2. Do naughty stuff with each other.

3. Realize… holy crap that was fun.

4. Wash and repeat cycle.

Fear of dreams coming to life
SDL’s Steps to Cure:
1. Have awesome dreams so that you aren’t scared of them coming to life.

2. Dream that we both somehow woke up with a million dollars.

3. If all else fails, dream that your dreams never come to life. You know… trick them.

Fear of beards
SDL’s Steps to Cure:
1. Scroll through all the pictures of me on my personal Facebook page (here). One of two things will happen.

2. Either you will find beards to be the sexiest things ever.

3. Or, there is a good chance your fear will get much, much worse.

Fear of living forever
SDL’s Thoughts:
Ummm… living forever would be awesome.

Well, so long as we could also stop aging, too.

Growing old forever would NOT be awesome.

Crap. We can’t stop aging. I don’t want to live forever…

I think I now have a new phobia.

Continued on Next Page
Previous articleBig Company, Small Gesture, Huge Kudos
Next articleWhy I LOVE People: The Blind Man & the Deaf Man
Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!