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Finding Out a Friend Was Never a Friend at All

So, last week I found out a friend, unfortunately, was never really a friend at all.

Oh, the joys of being a blogger.

text-conversation

Of course, this was the same friend who months before congratulated me for being gay, and when I told her I wasn’t gay, I was bisexual, she had more than a hard time believing that I wasn’t some overly sexual non-committed fence-sitter in the sexual orientation game.

Regardless, it sucks to realize your friendships with some people are so paper thin. Then again, sometimes it’s nice to know.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

1682 comments
Madison Woodall
Madison Woodall

neither of you showed much class or tact...her for the comments she made, or you for posting them for everyone to see

Nicole Yeager Mulupi
Nicole Yeager Mulupi

You should never have to have a reason not to go to church. True Christians love people. Bad people. Good people. Sick, healthy, smart, not-so-smart. It doesn't matter. Like Jesus said, "Who was a neighbor to the Jewish man who had been attacked and left for dead?" (A : The Good Samaritan.) The answer was... NOT the priest, or the good Jew, but the one who showed love. The second greatest commandment? LOVE your neighbor AS yourself! If they don't live it, they don't really believe it. They are just in the church for social programs and to feed their own pride, and they're giving the true believers a bad rap. God bless you both!

Nicole Yeager Mulupi
Nicole Yeager Mulupi

Before you consider chastising someone (SDL) for what he or she posts, on his or her own page for all to read, perhaps you should consider 1) whether you have a personal relationship with him or are just using him for entertainment or inspiration, 2) whether he asked your opinion or expressed doubt in the way he shared details from his own life experience on his own blog that you DO NOT have to read if you don't like it, (and where he is known to share his own life experience), 3) whether your "calling him out" in public is "right", because, well, 3 wrongs don't make a right any more than 2 do, 4) that he may have posted this to discourage others from repeating such behavior, which, he says, is still going on, or because (as he claims) it's funny to him, rather than to take revenge (so you really shouldn't assume you know his motives), and 5) if you're correcting him for the sake of others, do it on your own soapbox (start your own blog if you don't like his!), and 6) if you really want to correct his misbehavior, you can send him a message privately, can't you? Why do you care to protect the nameless woman's dignity instead of the dignity of the person who is letting you read his very personal blog?

Christi Upson
Christi Upson

Sad she feels that way. Think you might be well rid of her.

Alex Holloway
Alex Holloway

Thank you, Edna; however, I must apologize as I do not befriend strangers on Facebook.

Edna Wormer
Edna Wormer

yes alex i agree......nice cute kid u got there.....like your profile and would love to know about you. add me so we get to know better....edna

Laurie McIntyre
Laurie McIntyre

Yeah..there are people in the world like that. Real friends just love who you are. I don't understand the self entitlement I see in SOME people these days..I don't get it. You have a beautiful life to live one day at a time. There will unfortunately be some critic ..but most people rock!

Elaine O'Brien
Elaine O'Brien

Oh my God Dan, that's so awful. What a total bitch. You are so better off without her in your life. Sending you hugs xx

Tina Westman
Tina Westman

Can you please post on your page how much I love you!!!!!

Jen Tuck
Jen Tuck

Sooo Single Dad Laughing, I was wondering if you could support this awesome blogger so that we can get his name out there more. I have attached the link: http://www.danoah.com/

Lori Johnson Linsmeier
Lori Johnson Linsmeier

Poo poo on her and her shallowness. I do agree with others that you should be thankful that she showed you her true colors before you invested anymore time into her "friendship," but I'm sure you realized that right away anyway!! ☺️

GreenKat
GreenKat

Awkward. I'm so sorry - what a worthless "friend."

Dominic Burnett
Dominic Burnett

Actually, you should be thanking her. By showing you her true colours, that's one less waste of time in your life :)

Pam Bremner White
Pam Bremner White

Thanks Harry. That sucks about your dad's experience too. "They must not take their walk with God seriously, can't be hanging around with nominal Christians". Ah, well. They're the ones who will have to answer. And it's churches and people like this, who make their own rules (and dare I say judgements? ) that make people not want to have anything to do with Jesus. Sad misrepresentations.

Karen Smith
Karen Smith

Good grief. Some people need to grow up.

Hope Whitmill
Hope Whitmill

Nadine Carr I totally agree. It does get very confusing and a bit on the annoying side. ; (

Nadine Carr
Nadine Carr

In addition to all the excellent comments submitted prior, why do people claim to ask a question when in fact they have a demand? It always confuses me. A request in the form of a question should always expect an honest answer, not just an immediate affirmative response.

Susan Spear-Coates
Susan Spear-Coates

What does your sexual orientation have to do with anything regarding that conversation. And wait one would imagine that a person who enjoyed the company of both sexes would disclose that to a new partner. She is invalid and can now be excused.

MemoryLanes
MemoryLanes

I'd have to fall on the "it's nice to know" side of the fence. Or to say it a different way...  "Better out than in, I always say!" (Shrek) 


AlissaShipley
AlissaShipley

Are we missing part of the story? Was this an out of the blue reaction or did she, at some point, support and prop your blog? Did she just expect your help because 'friends'? That last comment was almost a threat... I suppose I just have trouble relating that kind of anger to something so trivial. I just keep thinking there has to be more to it...


Without something more - entitled psycho comes to mind.

AilaLynn
AilaLynn

Dan, it's better to find out now that someone is not a true friend than having wasted more time and risks of being betrayed by them later. It's the ones like this who you do not need in your life. If you are bi then that is your prerogative. the person who loves you and accepts you and embraces that aspect of you is worth it because they accept you just the way you are. I'm bi and my husband accepts that. though I have come across a lot of guys against it and "feel like they don't need to have to worry  about competing with females since they have to compete with males anyways." (yes, I have gotten this excuse to be broken up with because he couldn't handle me being bi and innocently dancing with other females (not males) at a club we were at together. Anyways, you are better off without friends like that. Life is complicated enough as it is.

Hope Whitmill
Hope Whitmill

I did add my opinion on this yesterday. However this could be made into something better. Everyone calling her names, for her being rude to someone else is just as bad. Its sad to see and each of us have the ability to do better then that. Its like watching everyone get enjoyment from another's pain. Or enjoyment over the idea that some people have a mentality that we dont agree with. So people act as if its a riot and jump into it without stopping to think. I wonder what you would all want your own children to act like.

Kellie Mallette
Kellie Mallette

I wouldnt wish that upon my worst enemy (laying her)

Brandon Rusch
Brandon Rusch

Shortened version: Hey, I need something from you. Oh, you won't help? Well...well...you're gay! Haha, I win! Sadly, some people still think they're in middle school and that using the word "gay" is somehow insulting. My response: Yes, I'm gay (in Dan's case, bi). Any other facts you'd like to tell me about myself?

Alissa Harding
Alissa Harding

Wow.... she's going to go far in life only being friends with people who can do things for her. Can't hide that for too long.

JenniferElsdonLarson
JenniferElsdonLarson

You're reaction was perfectly reasonable. And real friends don't blackmail or extort their friends to get what they want. 

Elisabeth Black
Elisabeth Black

I'm in the disappointed in you camp. :( It's not whether she deserves the embarrassment or how awful what she did do is, it's what she made you do. You lowered your standards. You allowed yourself to be manipulated by her and now she's on your blog. I've just one question for you, what would your sister have done in that situation?

Denise Salinas
Denise Salinas

Do your Dan Pearce thang, Utah. The world benefits from the things you do and the words you say. Just keep being you. :)

Jessica Ahmann
Jessica Ahmann

What a crazy---but thanks for sharing because that was funny!!!

Adam Salisbury
Adam Salisbury

I think she deserved/deserves any negative blowback from being an idiot. I would have posted her conversation if I were in your place too, Dan.