I Went Out to Find a Friend
Based on a true story.
I was feeling kind of down several months ago. Just kind of chillin’ in my bedroom, not doing anything, not going anywhere. Not really moving at all.
But the longer I sat there, the more I started to realize that my life sucked. And I started thinking about all the people that were bugging me. And I started thinking about all the people who weren’t there for me. And I started thinking that I didn’t have any real friends.
Then I looked at the clock and realized the day was almost over. And I wanted to crawl under my blanket and just sleep until the next day, but the longer I stayed there, and the further the clock progressed, the more angry and upset I got that I was alone.
So, I got up. I showered. And, with about an hour left, I went out to find some real friends.
But first, I got on my phone and I texted all of my lame friends just to make sure they were really lame. They were.
That just made me more depressed, so the first place I went to find friends was my favorite bar. Everyone was always so friendly to each other there.
I sat down at the bar and watched karaoke for a while. All around me, people were being so nice, and friendly, and awesome. Just not to me.
The longer I sat there, the more depressed I got. Not a single person came and said hi. I was dumb. My idea was dumb. I wasn’t going to find a friend here.
So, after a while I went home. Still unable to find any real friends.
And the next day I went to the supermarket. People are always telling me they meet people at supermarkets. But they were dumb. The idea was dumb. Nobody said hi.
So the next day I went to a party that a friend of a friend sent out some major invite to. I needed to get out of this funk and a party would be the perfect place to meet people. But it was dumb. The idea was dumb. People only cared about the people they already knew, and I didn’t know anyone, so I didn’t make any real friends there, either.
And I went home, got in bed, looked at my texts. No texts. It was the same as when I left it. I looked at my call log. No missed calls. My friends weren’t really friends at all.
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