I don’t know if it’s because it has been spring, or because in the past six to twelve months there was some weird “let’s get it on” pheromone really cranking through the environment, or just because fertility goes in spurts, but it seems that just about everyone is having babies lately.
My best friend just had one. My sister is about to have one. On Saturday I helped some friends move and kept finding myself weave in and out of bellies full of babies. Friends, relatives, neighbors, you name it. Babies. Babies. Babies. Rumors of babies. And even more babies.
I’m starting to feel like the odd dog out. And that’s okay. Holding other people’s babies is more than enough to satisfy the occasional baby hunger I experience.
But with all these babies come baby talk, and more specifically pregnancy talk, and even more specifically, discussion about how the moms are going to make themselves go into labor because, dagnabbit, they’re tired of being pregnant!
I blame the internet. It’s a magical haven for “secrets” that pregnant ladies can use to induce their own labors.
And why wouldn’t they want to? I mean, they have a tiny thing growing inside of them, sucking all their energy, weighing down their spine, making them eat like ravenous swans (please note I was careful to remove the original term ravenous gorillas for sake of saving my own life), and more or less just becoming irritating.
Plus, they want to actually meet the tiny thing inside of them. Pregnancy is like a dating website where you “kind of” meet someone, but you don’t really meet them, and it just drags on and on and on and on and you never actually get to meet them, but they just sound so awesome, and you get to see cute pictures of them sometimes, and they seem so awesome, and you keep holding onto that excitement because you know that the day you finally do meet, fireworks will happen… Yeah. It’s like that. I’m guessing.
I’m also guessing that by the time nine months rolls around, it’s starting to really feel like a one-sided relationship. Mama gives, gives, gives. The baby takes, takes, takes. The baby inside drains mama dry of any and all stamina and patience. We’ve all had people like that in our lives, and they have a way of taking us to that point. You know the point, the one where for your own sanity you need to sit the draining person down and explain how there needs to be give and take for this relationship to work.
And so, right at about 38 weeks, just about every mom gets to that point where they need to be done with the relationship as it is, and they start trying to make labor happen.
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