Over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook Page, I asked you all to share your most embarrassing moments… in poem form!
Hundreds of you responded. These are a few of my favorites. If you missed the first one, be sure to read it. It was a hoot!
I was handed a turd by my two year old dame
I did not see it coming until it was there
And let go the mother of really bad swears
I just did not know that I had said it so loud
Until I felt the gaze of the entire crowd.
I thought that I would be outgoing and oh so very clever:
"Your grandson is so charming. He really is a catch!"
Oh those words if I could but only snatch…
"That is our son my dear. We really aren’t that old."
It was a long time before I spoke out again so bold.
I had knots in my stomach and my brother by my side.
As the controller checked my seat bar, he looked faint of heart.
The reason– I’m fairly certain– was the stench of my "nervous fart."
And the whole church utters ‘Amen’
He stands right up front with his toddler bare ass
A thousand congregants gasping and then
Caleb whips it around and he waters church grass, saying:
"Mom, I’m just peeing like men!"
When my well respected boss came to talk to me
Alas my belly was full of noxious odorous gas
Which chose right then and there to silently seep from my ass.
A message to my husband had been sent
With sexual innuendo and quite a frisky bent.
My girlfriends had taken liberties and I didn’t need much proof
Imagine the horror I when I realized it had been sent
To the church’s Director of Youth.
Grown son’s it was, hubby’s it was not.