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- Just a couple weeks ago I was putting my daughter in her carseat, getting ready to go to the store or wherever. As I was outside, I thought it a great opportunity to let one go. And it was bad. Ugh. Not 5 seconds later my husband comes out to give me my wallet that I had apparently forgotten. There was no breeze that day, and the gas was just lingering. He hands me my wallet and exclaims “Ugh!! Oh my God baby! Your car f***ing reeks! what the hell is that?! Did you spill something and not clean it up?!” I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t smell anything.” Lie. “Seriously! That’s disgusting! What IS that??” He then spends the next 5 minutes refusing to let me leave until he figures out where in God’s name that smell is coming from. I never said a word and denied even admitting that I smelled anything at all.
- On a group trip in Aberdeen we decided to drive to Loch Ness. 8 hours of holding them in coz I was in a car with 3 guys. When we finally returned to Delgetie Castle I finally ask one friend to “pull my finger” and proceeded to let one rip which lasted, unexpectedly, for over 10 seconds. Being in a castle corridor it echoed all the way on down to the kitchen to the other two lads and I got teased for the rest of the night. I also got a marriage proposal my friend was so impressed.
- My two year old overheard me talking to my 5 year old about how water is healthy and helps us breathe (my 5 year olds idea). So as I was changing my two year old later that night he farted, then looked at me and said, “Mommy, farts help ME breathe”
- So, when I was an awkward teenager, I went to a friend’s cousin’s house for a party. Mind you, my friend’s cousin’s best friend is a girl that I was seriously crushing on at the time. So, the party winds down, people start falling asleep. I go outside for fresh air, and there she is, sitting on the porch rail. So I sit down beside her, and say nothing. All is quiet. I try to not ruin the moment with awkward conversation. After a really long time in my hopeless romantic young mind, she looks over to me, slowly, and a silly grin spreads on her face. Then, she releases a ultra slow, at least fifteen seconds fart. You know the kind. We both explode laughing, I fell MADLY IN LOVE for the next year or two.
- I was in labour with my daughter and preparing to push and father looks at me and said ok babe now push like this!! *grunts* and ripped one off so loud the nurse jumped.
- I accidentally farted in a small plane tethered to a guy as we were on our way up to skydive. They actually opened the window.
PS.Thank you for sharing these. I can’t tell you how hard I was laughing putting this together. And please… share your story or any other comment below!