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fart-embarrassed

  1. Just a couple weeks ago I was putting my daughter in her carseat, getting ready to go to the store or wherever. As I was outside, I thought it a great opportunity to let one go. And it was bad. Ugh. Not 5 seconds later my husband comes out to give me my wallet that I had apparently forgotten. There was no breeze that day, and the gas was just lingering. He hands me my wallet and exclaims “Ugh!! Oh my God baby! Your car f***ing reeks! what the hell is that?! Did you spill something and not clean it up?!” I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t smell anything.” Lie. “Seriously! That’s disgusting! What IS that??” He then spends the next 5 minutes refusing to let me leave until he figures out where in God’s name that smell is coming from. I never said a word and denied even admitting that I smelled anything at all.
  2. On a group trip in Aberdeen we decided to drive to Loch Ness. 8 hours of holding them in coz I was in a car with 3 guys. When we finally returned to Delgetie Castle I finally ask one friend to “pull my finger” and proceeded to let one rip which lasted, unexpectedly, for over 10 seconds. Being in a castle corridor it echoed all the way on down to the kitchen to the other two lads and I got teased for the rest of the night. I also got a marriage proposal my friend was so impressed.
  3. My two year old overheard me talking to my 5 year old about how water is healthy and helps us breathe (my 5 year olds idea). So as I was changing my two year old later that night he farted, then looked at me and said, “Mommy, farts help ME breathe”
  4. So, when I was an awkward teenager, I went to a friend’s cousin’s house for a party. Mind you, my friend’s cousin’s best friend is a girl that I was seriously crushing on at the time. So, the party winds down, people start falling asleep. I go outside for fresh air, and there she is, sitting on the porch rail. So I sit down beside her, and say nothing. All is quiet. I try to not ruin the moment with awkward conversation. After a really long time in my hopeless romantic young mind, she looks over to me, slowly, and a silly grin spreads on her face. Then, she releases a ultra slow, at least fifteen seconds fart. You know the kind. We both explode laughing, I fell MADLY IN LOVE for the next year or two.
  5. I was in labour with my daughter and preparing to push and father looks at me and said ok babe now push like this!! *grunts* and ripped one off so loud the nurse jumped.
  6. I accidentally farted in a small plane tethered to a guy as we were on our way up to skydive. They actually opened the window.

PS.Thank you for sharing these. I can’t tell you how hard I was laughing putting this together. And please… share your story or any other comment below!

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!