Yesterday I published An Open Letter to Ye Who is Always Late.
And, wow. There were some really happy people who thought that post was great. It was shared a whole bunch. And there were some really agitated and upset people. Several people told me it was the worst thing I’d ever written. I was told it was judgmental, and harsh, and vicious, and hateful, and some people even said they were done reading my blog.
This isn’t uncommon. Any time I write anything strongly worded and not all full of butterflies and tutus, even when it’s ultimately done from a place of love, I offend some people to the ends of the earth. I understand that those being offended are those people who really don’t like the mirror being held up. I know I hate when mirrors are held up to me and my less-than-awesome habits. And yes, I held up a big mirror yesterday. I’ll own that.
But life can’t always be lived politically correct. Writing and blogging certainly can’t be. Nothing ever improves when that is the case.
In that post, I very snarkily wrote a letter to a “friend” of mine who is always late. And by always, I don’t mean sometimes. I don’t mean when road traffic is unexpectedly rotten. I don’t mean when the kids occasionally are out of control. I mean always.
Of course, I didn’t write that open letter to any specific friend. I wrote that to any person who is chronically late and uncaring of the lives and time of others.
I, for one, am exhausted of it. I honestly am. And beating around the bush, and asking nicely, and gently nudging, and saying “it’s okay, just try better” hasn’t worked for any of the people in my life who are never on time. At all. Ever. At least for the stuff that involves me. So yesterday, I thought I’d try the direct (albeit blatant) approach.
You see, the further I get into my life and the older I get, the more I realize how precious every minute of every day is. I realize how valuable my time is, both for work and career but also for quality things I can be doing to enrich my life when I’m not working. I also pick and choose a lot more as I age, exactly what I will be doing with every minute of my life.
My life is important to me.
And I am sorry, but I don’t really personally understand the excuses of people who say they literally cannot be on time. In the comments, they blamed it on having kids. Or on OCD. Or on ADHD. Or on any other number of things.
I have a kid. Yes. We’re still pretty much always on time. I also have lots of friends with lots of kids (my best friend has seven!) and they are pretty much always on time. Some of their kids are difficult. Some of them are stubborn or argumentative. Some of them go out of control. Yet they’re still on time. So, I’m sorry but I don’t understand that one.
I also have diagnosed Adult ADD. I have friends who struggle with ADD or ADHD. And guess what. They’re still on time. Most of the time. So, I’m not understanding that one, either.
As for other disorders, I can’t go through every one of them and tell you whether or not I understand them or accept them when it comes to chronic tardiness. Maybe there are some disorders that literally make it so you cannot, no matter what, ever be on time. Obviously that post wasn’t written to you.
What I can tell you is that I have watched those people I love who are chronically late and I have noticed something.
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