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Why Is There Anyone Left Here At All?

Surprised woman with tablet on couch

Sometimes I have to wonder why there is anyone left here at all.

On the blog, I mean.

I have no idea why there is anyone left to read it or how there is anyone left.

Yet here we are, and we just passed a quarter million people that follow Single Dad Laughing, and every day many more hundred somehow find it and decide to stick around.

Please note: that last paragraph just offended other bloggers who say bloggers are to never mention their own numbers.

But also every day, I tick off someone. Sometimes lots and lots of people.

Just this week has been a great example.

On Monday I wrote and published Fifty Cents for a Swear. Oh man, did I open the flood gates of criticism on that one, and rightfully so. What we planned to do at the end of our year of collecting change was straight up douchey and inconsiderate even though it was going to be entertaining for us.

Please note: that last paragraph just offended people who don’t like the word douchey, and it also offended the people who say I shouldn’t ever give attention to those that give negative feedback.

And oh my gosh. There were some upset people on that post. Some so upset that I actually deleted their comments for the vitriol and foul beyond foul language that was used (something I rarely, rarely do).

Please note: that last paragraph just offended people who think that no blogger should ever delete any comment no matter how horrible it is because, don’t you know that bloggers are the ones who put themselves out there, so they should be willing to take ANYTHING that is dished to them.

The percentage of commenters who were upset after that post was easily the majority. At least it was when I first checked the response which was about an hour after pushing it out to all of you. In fact, it was so negative that I literally never opened it up again because I know how quickly that kind of feedback can make my day spiral into deep depression and into the belief that everyone now hates me.

Please note: that last paragraph just offended the people who think that such a move is weak and cowardly because don’t you know that if I’m willing to share such a thing, I also should be ready to take the flack for it.

Some people adamantly declared after that post that they were gone for good. It’s something people like to do on their way out for some reason. Other people told me they were getting close. And still, the numbers that day climbed. Maybe not as much as usual, but they climbed nonetheless.

Tuesday wasn’t too bad. I only had a few angry people. One person who wanted everyone to know that I was a thief and a liar. Apparently the act of using stick figure art in blog posts belongs to one blog and one blog only, and for me to have fun with stick figures was a blatant thievery of someone else’s creativity.

Oh, and two people on Tuesday really wanted me to know how behind the game I was sharing something I did on my blog. Apparently it had been going around for years already, and me sharing it this late in the game was disrespectful to their time, or some hogwash like that.

Please note: those last few paragraphs just offended the following people… Those who think that by noticing my daily growth or decline means that I am far too hyper-focused on that instead of on blogging, those who love Hyperbole & a Half (which is one of my favorite blogs), those who love stick figures of all kinds (let’s be honest, mine were a bit insulting to stick figures everywhere), and those who don’t think any blogger should ever call anything his followers do “hogwash.”

Please also note: that last sentence just offended those who think it is sexist to say “his” and not “his or her” or “his/her.”

Please also note: that very last sentence just offended those who believe the period should come after the closing quotation mark on “his/her,” and not before.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

456 comments
JodieStretch
JodieStretch

Not only am I not offended by the article, I love all those words! Keep doing what you do, I think it's great :)

Julie in Cincinnati
Julie in Cincinnati

This post was awesome!!  Love it!!  You just had me laughing hysterically!  

Chea
Chea

You know what? There will always be those of us like you who dont take things so seriously. Who know how to laugh. Who realize we dont have to be here. And we will stand by you, keep reading, and you'll always have a blog audience.  I just know it.

emriddle34
emriddle34

Bwahahaha! Love this post. Keep doing what you are doing.

StephanieHicks805
StephanieHicks805

Oh how I love you...and I'm sure I just offended the Farmer's Daughter aka "Sarah" or shall I be offended I don't know if that's her real name "Dan" which I am offended by btw.  I am offended by all the offending offended words you used today. And more importantly, I'm offended I have yet to be offended by the master offender.  Something is offensively off.  I'm even offended I don't know what I just said...other than all the stupid dumb offended people can kiss my fat ass.  Yep.  I just offended some who don't like swear words.  Or the fact I'm fat.  Some find fat people hugely offensive.  I love ya Dan.  Keep up the amazing work and posts!  As a matter of fact.... I should put your ad generating revenge things as my favorites and shop via them.   I'll support ya by my  fat,lazy ass shopping spree online.  YIPEE!!!!

DontTakeLifeSoSerious
DontTakeLifeSoSerious

I forgot to mention... I'm sorry but this post didn't offend me.  I found it funny.  And I didn't get a chance to read everyone's comments but the ones I did read were supportive and didn't seem anal.  Hope that makes up for the naysayers.

DontTakeLifeSoSerious
DontTakeLifeSoSerious

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but they should realize that so is the other person!  It seems everyone takes everything so serious.  Relax.  Don't take things personal.  Don't be disrespectful to others, in person or online.  Dan, a friend of mine shares your posts which I enjoy reading.  You go, guy!  It takes guts to put yourself out there.  Cheers!

shiver23
shiver23

I'm still following you Dan, and it's been an awesome journey thus far. Thank you for everything. 

Starla Wilkerson Bickerstaff
Starla Wilkerson Bickerstaff

I wish people could agree to disagree nicely. There are no right or wrong opinions. The Internet is an easy way for people to be mean & I hate that. Your stuff is funny & unique. People need to be nicer & lighten the freak up. LOL.

fairylady86
fairylady86

HAHAHAHA! Great post, as usual, and hilarious. I guess its true, you can't make everyone happy. Those people who choose to get offended rather than see the humor in your posts are really missing out, because this is some funny shit you write my friend! uh-oh, that's gonna be fifty cents in the swear jar! ;)

AshleySprouse
AshleySprouse

This post, nor any other post that you have ever written, has offended me. I take it in stride and understands posts as you mean them. I love your blog and follow it religiously! Keep doing what you do and don't worry about the easily offended.

cgmcadams
cgmcadams

I'm offended that you think I read every blog post you write..geesh man...

Love your blog posts,you're funny..who cares if people get offended and leave..there are millions of people out there that love you.I do..keep at it and if I am the last one around..I promise to keep reading your blog posts..as long as you aren't offended by the fact I don't read all of them...

jenniferbarlin
jenniferbarlin

I've been writing a blog for years, and I have a very small number of followers and almost never get comments. I have to admit I'm jealous of your reach and influence, even if I don't always agree with what you say. I stick around here because I admire your candor, and you are truly funny and touching most of the time.

(That being said, when I read the Swear Jar post I thought, "Well, THAT'S going to ruin someone's day. Why don't they do something positive with that money?" But I didn't make the comment, because so many other people had beaten me to it, and those who disagreed with your approach were being accused of having a stick up their *ss. I have no such stick. However, please reconsider. There are delays at the market that are avoidable, and delays that are unavoidable. And while the embarrassment seems funny to you, there are people for whom delays can cause serious hardship, in ways you haven't considered - medical difficulties with prolonged standing, being late to work, cashiers being penalized for slowness, managers having to scramble to open new lines or stay late to count the coins. Whatever you do, keep writing. I'll keep reading.)

lisasmiles
lisasmiles

Dan, good news, I'll still be here when everyone else has been offended.  When it comes to being offended I have always said, "I'm above it, or just to dumb to realize it." 

Deni Gottlieb
Deni Gottlieb

For one thing, some people enjoy being offended, and the internet is the perfect venue for such.

Holly Johnson Reed
Holly Johnson Reed

Being offended is no reason to leave. You've offended me. I'm still here. "Offended" is such a small thing in the big picture. What do I do? Shake my head. Say (to myself... or the wall) "Well, that sucked." Move on. Read again tomorrow. If offensive stuff 'ruined' something/someone for me entirely, I'd have no friends, nothing to read, watch, or listen to, and a seriously miserable existence. :) That's why I'm still here.

JoselleGriffin
JoselleGriffin

Been very quietly following for a long while now... you make me laugh, you make me cry, and sometimes I don't agree with everything you say, but guess what, that can be said about all the people I choose to keep in my life! I love your realness and honesty,  and I think you're a whole bunch of awesome, and if you don't believe me i'll get offended ;)


Phillip McKeen
Phillip McKeen

I just read the whole blog post (which I haven't done in months, congratulations on inspiring me). I read the pps. I still can't stomach commenting on the post directly, so I hope you see my rant-after-rant here on your Facebook page. Keep up the good work, Dan, I'm confident you know exactly what you're doing, and you have an army of superloyal fans who would spend their days and nights slaying trolls and dragons (flamers, get it?) for you. Also, I agree with two sides of a topic brought up in your post: Bloggers generally should not censor comments, and certainly should not audit them (approve each individual comment). That being said, if you want your blog to be generally family friendly, you do need to clean out the trash, either by replacing unnecessary expletives with [expletive removed], or simply removing the comment all together.

Phillip McKeen
Phillip McKeen

Yeah, still not going to leave feedback on your blog (positive or negative) until you have an alternative to Livefyre, or I have some evidence that the service it provides has improved. Seeing the livefyre logo actually makes my stomach turn.

Phillip McKeen
Phillip McKeen

I'm sure someone already posted something akin to this, but here's how it works... someone with an opinion has the courage to tell you that their opinion differs from yours, and in some cases, has the nerve to claim that their opinion is "right". That is when things go wrong: not for you, but for them. Your fan base will continue to grow as more people discover that you have interesting and valuable things to say on a regular basis. Proportionately, the number of "I resent that remark" type comments will also increase, so be read for it. I enjoy your articles and share them on occasion. Rarely, I see something that rubs me the wrong way, but I see enough good stuff that I keep you on my FB feed. The thing that so far has bothered me the most about you and/or your site is how the blog handles comments: I don't want to be e-mailed with every bloody comment, and I don't want to have to manage that setting independently per blog in a relatively confusing interface (that's the third party tool you're using to blame, more so than you). It's also why I stopped commenting on your blog. Keep up the good work, that's why you have 200K likes and counting. You might even be able to get more likes and shares from a blog on "How to 'Unlike' a page and adjust notifications on Facebook."

Andrew Huff
Andrew Huff

Oh my God, how could anyone hate you? (please note: in that sentence, I just offended strong Christians and those who do actually hate you.) :)

MaryUtt
MaryUtt

My guess is that there are a lot of quiet fans like myself who don't repost that often or comment that often but we read and enjoy and move on.  Sometimes I read and I think... meh..., other times I laugh, cry, get inspired, commiserate, etc., I don't bother to get offended by hardly anything.  Then there are others who are joining because they read something on a friends page who follows and I bet there are a lot of new people joining like this all the time.  Then there are those who seem super offended and make a huge fuss but then they just stick around because getting offended and freaking out is a daily occurrence for them like brushing their teeth or breathing.  Then maybe a few really do unfollow and if so then such is life.  You are authentic and I enjoy following you.  Keep up the good work.

Peggy Barthel
Peggy Barthel

You'll have to try harder than that to offend me into leaving!!!

Jam
Jam

Hahaha I love this post!

Suzi Smith
Suzi Smith

First off, I don't offend easily and second IF I found a post of yours offensive then I just don't read it and move on.

Maggie Grove
Maggie Grove

God, some people are just what I think of as "professionally offended". They probably follow your blog just so they can declare that they're so offended that they're never going to read another post and then flounce off into the sunset clutching their pearls as hard as they can. Flouncey flounce flounce.

Becky
Becky

Nine times out of ten, when I share a photo or a story, it comes from here.  I just love that you do what you do so very well.  You make me laugh, and cry sometimes.  I share it.  Often.  

Never stop doing what you do oh so well.  And pay no mind to the complainers.  You are always going to offend one or more in a quarter million.  So hand up some advice here.  It is quite simple...click "leave group" or unfollow if you are offended.  No need to rant.  Keep the blood pressure in check, and just don't read.  The rest of us will read and share ad nauseum, because we know a good thing when we have it. 

K
K

Sigh.  Some people have too much time on their hands.


I agree - I thought your plan tospend the money in small change at a supermarket was douchey.  But then I remembered I like in a different country to you so its highly unlikley to be me stuck behind you so I didn't bother telling you my thoughts.

The other things is - people LOVE to bitch.  And flounce.  And if you love to bitch and flounce then you're not actually going to leave a blog that allows you the frequent opportunity to do both.  I'd bet that not nearly as many people who say they're leaving actually do.

Dale Cranston
Dale Cranston

I'd try to be offended by your posts... But in reality, everyone has their own opinions, life experiences and way of conveying them... Keep it up and hopefully, you'll have a million + to potentially offend with each new post :)

Gazenji
Gazenji

I'm offended that you wrote a post about being offended;).  Keep entertaining us, Dan! 

canadianbbw73
canadianbbw73

How to offend someone on the internet:  

1.  Post an opinion. 

2.  Wait 5 seconds.

Stephanie Dille Craft
Stephanie Dille Craft

This is your blog. If someone is offended, they can kick rocks. Do your thing!

Dawniel Kupsch
Dawniel Kupsch

You and George Takei should commiserate. He has posted the same thing. Frankly I can't think of two less offensive individuals...if people want to get indignant, they will. Remember your Dr. Seus: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

craigsmith0911
craigsmith0911

Hey! Im a single Father of a 4 year old and a 2 year old. It takes a lot to offend me. I come here to your post for humor, advice, and to see that other people out there have a hard time doing this thing we call raising kids Please keep up the work and keep offending people.

Kim Clarke
Kim Clarke

I think some people just really LIKE to be offended and look for opportunities. :) you've never offended me!

KelcyHelgaMaeWorkman
KelcyHelgaMaeWorkman

Not even poop or shart got my panties ruffled. I giggled through all of this. If everyone agreed with everything anyone else said it would be such a boring world. Plus, who would those constant fart huffers complain to/about? 

JeanellFairless
JeanellFairless

Fun times. I'm offended by the fact that you have yet to offend me and not just because I don't get offended easily.

But seriously, I love your blog, keep up the keeping it real.

The most offensive thing about any of your posts are those people who get offended so easily.

Marnie Beier
Marnie Beier

We enjoy your blog. I really liked the Truth Box, you should bring it back.

Taylor Hildebrand
Taylor Hildebrand

I don't agree with everything you say, and yeah, sometimes I feel weird about some of your jokes...but I can feel your heart's in the right place, meaning no harm, and that's what matters.

BarbLopes
BarbLopes

HAHAHAHAHA....there is an old expression for dealing with the hyper-sensitive, easily offended crowd.. I won't put it here because I absolutely guarantee it would offend a whole bunch of 'em.   Keep up the good work.  If folks are offended, they can always stop reading it, right?

Ponden
Ponden

Lol. I feel like a 12 year old kid for giggling at the word "shart". You make me smile, carry on. 

StephanieHicks805
StephanieHicks805

@AshleySprouse Thanks!  This site is often a huge source of laughter...and even the thought provoking ones are good.  Some apparently don't have enough real life crap to deal with.   Oh I should add to the offended folks...I pay to view his website monthly.  Yep...bloggers will be offended.  My bank account is seriously offended...but thankfully not enough to be overdrawn and whank about it.