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Chappy, My Kid, & Some Real Hard Choices

noah-pearce-dan-pearceSo many of you have sent so many kind and thoughtful notes about Chappy, and understandably, many of you have wondered how he’s doing.

It is a slow, slow, slow process from here. Every day, the slightest twitches and reflexes are considered tiny miracles, and most days he’s exciting the medical staff and his family with those tiny miracles. He is now breathing on his own, and though in critical care, doctors are finally saying he’s stable.

This whole thing has been incredibly painful and difficult and trying for all involved, especially those closest to him. Especially my little Noah.

Last week while we were in California he lost it completely. He had a melt-down and for more than an hour just started crying the same words, “I want Chappy, I want Chappy.” It breaks my heart to see him experiencing the pain he is experiencing. The loss of a father and a buddy.

It has changed other parts of our lives as well. The entire course of so much has changed in unforeseen ways, and painful ways, and I will blog about that when I am able.

I think the hardest thing as a Dad is making choices that hurt you but that you know are necessary and for the well-being of your son. I have had to make some of those hard choices, and life is not happy at the moment.

But as a dad, everything inside me tells me my choices were right. For my son.

Whether they are right for me, I don’t know and I can’t know. Sometimes parents never get to know because good parenting doesn’t always work that way.

I know that is vague. And uninformational. But it’s all I can give you right now. I’m hurting a bit too much for anything else.

I’ll be taking at least a couple days off of blogging. Thanks for understanding.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

Oh, and PS. I’ve already scheduled several days of funny Facebook images and posts, so we can all still laugh and snicker at those. :)

600 comments
LouLongHenning
LouLongHenning

I enjoy your writings.  I'm considering the fact that we are the same person, only I am a mom.

LauraPicton
LauraPicton

Any news on chappy!? Hope everything is well! Keep checking in! Hope everyone is well love your blog so much!

Becca
Becca

Please know (and tell Noah's mom) that there are SOO many people praying, both for Chappy and for all of you as a family. I cannot even imagine going through this, and all that you must be feeling. It says a lot that you have made the choices you have, knowing they would bring even more pain.

Jan Heath
Jan Heath

I think Dan's big reveal is that he broke up with Sarah. She posted that on her facebook yesterday. Not sure why. And probably HE is having his son full time for now, as I'm sure his mother is busy taking care of Chappy.

SamTashBurd
SamTashBurd

What a load you are all being forced to carry....I wish it weren't so. Happy to hear that Noah let it out and it was with you where he felt safe and knew he could trust. Not easy for you, but no one ever promised that in the parenting manuals that we never received. God be with you all. Do what you need to do for yourself and your family. Family first; no explanations necessary.



crazynance
crazynance

I wish I could lay down and have a meltdown sometimes... poor wee man.  Praying for your family, Dan... xo

April Anderson
April Anderson

Thank you for this news. You take care of Noah, Sarah and yourself. Know that your family and Chappy are in my thoughts.

Marcia Blake Hawkins
Marcia Blake Hawkins

This story is about my nephew. So very sad. He is still in a coma. A fund has been set up for him and his wife at chappyfund.org. Chappy was the sole breadwinner for the family and as such their family is in dire straits. Please, if you can find it in your heart - donate to this fund. His wife needs every cent she can get to take care of her two boys and the medical bills that will come from Chappys hospital and doctor bills. Everything that you donate goes directly to their family. This is not a scam - it's a true fund. Any little bit helps. Please pass this on.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Sarah and Dan both changed their profile pics to no longer include each other, within the last 24 hours...oh no!!!

kmdoornink
kmdoornink

I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are all going through. I know personally it can be very tough.

I will pray for you and your family. Sending tons of love your way.

Mary Wong
Mary Wong

Hugs and prayers for all of you...what a difficult time you are going through. Know that there are literally thousands who feel for you and are sending you love and light. xxx God bless - take all the time you need.

Linda Hanley
Linda Hanley

Reading this just affirms for me that you are truly one if the few people in the world capable of separating their own selfishness for the sake of selflessness. Our kids our always our main mission in life. I think its appropriate to hope for better life than them than we have our ourselves. Only when they are parents themselves will they ever truly understand what it means. What it feels like. To know, without a doubt, that you would sacrifice anything imaginable to spare them any grief what so ever. Know this. If you ever start to regret your decisions, you must be able to look back and realize that you did what seemed right at the time and you're a human being who is prone to mistakes. Just like the rest of the population. Just your child will be someday. Good always prevails. Prayers, warm thoughts, healing, and happiness to you and your loved ones. Sometimes family is not always a blood relation. Chappy will be in my prayers along with the rest of you.

Sandra Palmer
Sandra Palmer

Blessings to you guys, you are in our thoughts and prayers. :)

Diane Young
Diane Young

HE is carrying you, Chappy, your ex and Noah thru this. God bless and set the tone with gratitude for every moment good or bad

Michele Seibert
Michele Seibert

Take all the time you need. Will be praying for everyone in your family.Especially Noah,His Mom and Chappy.

Jillsi
Jillsi

Sending thoughts of love and care and healing.

AnnieAdams
AnnieAdams

Dan some of the things we do as parents hurt us.  Being a parent we love our children more than ourselves.  They may not even begin to understand what we do for them.  We sacrifice, we work, but most of all we love.  When we are divorced our children feel like they have to choose one side or the other.  I think that is the most difficult situation of all.  The most loving thing we can do is just what you do.  You don't talk his mother down.  You don't talk his stepfather down.  You maintain integrity.  He will learn from that.  You are an amazing father.

Sara Bear
Sara Bear

I hope everything works out for the best! You seem like a pretty awesome guy and I am sorry for all of the hurt your family is going through! Best wishes to you all!!

Erin Burton
Erin Burton

hugs and prayers to all....as a mom, my heart hurts for you and Noah and Sarah. Nothings hurts more as a parent than when we can't fix it for our kiddos. You're probably getting loads of advice, some helpful, some not. But, thankfully (i hope) you are taking it all in stride and I know you are doing the best you can. Noah is surrounded by love and support as are you and Sarah. Hugs and prayers to all and know that you are supported and cared for by many. 

SuzanneMcLaughlinReil
SuzanneMcLaughlinReil

You and your entire family are in my thoughts and daily prayers.  Not every little detail needs to be splayed out for us.  You are entitled your privacy to deal with such a painful and difficult situation. You are doing the best you know how, that's all that can be asked.  Noah is such a lucky little boy to have such an amazing father.

ErinDuncan
ErinDuncan

Dan, I think you need to do what you feel is best.  Regardless of what the world thinks.  Yes, your post is vague, but guess what, some of your personal life CAN stay personal, if you so choose.  Prayers for Chappy, Noah, and yourself. 

Julie Logston
Julie Logston

Those of us who enjoy your blog and who feel like you are a part of our lives...support, are praying for, and feel deeply for you and your entire family. Blessings and Peace Dan.

PeggyEutemarkSmith
PeggyEutemarkSmith

I can only guess at the changes you are making. I will only say that my experience as a counselor has almost always been that you do best by your child if you are making decisions that are best for your own well-being. Of course, if your own well- being involves something that is obviously bad for your child you need to re-evaluate why you are drawn to something hurtful to your child. Take care of yourself and you will be taking cae of Noah.

LornaHull
LornaHull

((hugs)) you and your family a in my thoughts and prayers. take care.


NAWSbrat
NAWSbrat

Such a hard time for the entire extended family.  Good for you, taking some time off.  My prayers to all of you.

Amparo del Aguila
Amparo del Aguila

prayers of healing, wisdom and peace are sent your and your family's way.

MsXpat
MsXpat

Sorry to read that you all are experiencing such pain. I hope that Chappy is able to make a recovery. I don't know if you are a praying man but I'd say pray before every  major decision and if you are not, then take you self to a quiet calm place get your thoughts together then decide.  As a parent we all question what we are doing and as you say sometimes its hard to know if our choices are best. I hope things work out some how. God bless you all.

BarbaraCarlson
BarbaraCarlson

I'm sorry for everyone's pain. I think in the long run, doing what is best for Noah is probably the best thing to do. Hugs...


JennVH
JennVH

My heart hurts for you all.  Praying for Chappy and your hearts.  Poor little guy.  (((hugs)))

SuzySomething
SuzySomething

Dan, I'm so sorry that you and Noah are suffering as you are. Sending prayers for all of you during this difficult time.  Hoping against hope that Chappy will be able to come back from where he is right now and be well and present for Noah again.  The decisions you make, I know will be well-considered and for Noah's best interests, regardless of how hard they may be.  Hurting as you are must multiply the level of difficulty of any decision--whether it be to brush your teeth in the morning or life-changing decisions like the ones you are going to make now.  Hang on to the good things and be extra kind to yourself and Noah---and to the Farmers Daughter as well (her absence from this post is worrisome).  Blessings to you all. Sara Kate

Pamela Marie
Pamela Marie

No words will change your situation, Dan.. so I will simply tell you that I am thinking of you all.... sending love from Buffalo, NY

DonnaJohnsonCarini
DonnaJohnsonCarini

Praying for all of you...take the time out you need...sometimes that is what we need to do. Go to a favorite spot and just sit and pray and breathe....we will all still be here waiting for you and praying for you. Choices...are hard things to make...we all understand.

CrissyLance
CrissyLance

Sorry guys!  Sending some love your way!  Hang in there!!

Regina Morris
Regina Morris

Much love to you Dan. You seem to be the kind of Dad I wish my children had.

Jo-Ann Lapointe
Jo-Ann Lapointe

Thoughts and prayers with your family. Continue to be good to each other❤

Robyn Moore
Robyn Moore

Thanks for the update - I was just considering looking through your backlog, as I'd had limited time for FB over the last few days and wanted to make sure I hadn't missed anything regarding Chappy's progress. You, Noah and your combined families continue to be in my thoughts.

Jessica Pike-Hubbard
Jessica Pike-Hubbard

Keeping you all in my thoughts and hoping for a fast recovery and healing of hearts for everyone.

Owlette1
Owlette1

@Anonymous It doesn't mean a single thing......sheesh :)