As I type this, I am sitting… nay; I am leaning all awkwardly and sprawled out on a disgusting (and probably diseased) hotel room floor, attempting not to wake up my three traveling companions.
It is 2:58 PM in the afternoon.
We didn’t go to bed last night.
We are in Las Vegas.
And of course, the immediate thought would be of course you didn’t go to bed last night! You’re in Vegas!
But I promise you, while we had fun, it wasn’t our (ultimate) choice to never rest our eyes. We literally had nowhere to rest our eyes. We didn’t have a hotel room until the next day at 2PM when we could finally check in. This was thanks to our adventurous spirits, leaving a night early, thinking everything would be easy to line up once we got there.
This will be fun! we thought. An adventure! we declared. Incomplete plans. An all-nighter to start us off. None of us had stayed up all night long in, oh, I don’t know, a decade or so.
At about 3AM we all hit our limit and decided we were too old to be that young, so we headed to the hotel check-in desk and decided to spring for a room.
No rooms available.
We tried the next couple hotels as well.
All of Las Vegas had been booked solid for weeks. It was just that time of year.
And so we trudged on, constantly acknowledging to one another that we were too old to be this young. The all-nighter was definitely a game made for younger men.
Eventually, with six hours left to burn before we could check-in to our hotel, we found ourselves plopped down in front of penny slots, trying to burn away the extra seconds without losing our shirts while we did so.
You see, moments earlier we had realized that when you’re that tired and you’re that depleted of energy, you will not win at table games. This was evidenced by the incredible speed that we all blew through at minimum dozens of dollars, some of us hundreds, at the roulette table.
Of course, penny slots were in great abundance where we were. We were at El Cortez, the absolute crappiest, nastiest, grosses hotel & casino (that I’ve ever seen) in Las Vegas.
I wish I could tell you that we were there because everything else was booked. But that wouldn’t be true.
We were there because it was crappy, and nasty, and gross, but the prices match and table minimums match, so why not.
Ugh. We’re too old to be this young.
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