Airplane Restroom Occupied Sign

On my flight Monday back from New York, I had to go to the bathroom. And, so, after waiting for the flight attendants to finish their rounds, I found myself in the bathroom.

Now, we all know how awesome airplane bathrooms are. We all know how awesome it is to squeeze into one. We all know how awesome it is shimmy around the door and then try and close it once more. We all know how fun it is to reach up and click shut the little slider to make the outside say “occupied.” We all know how fun it is to tip toe around all the gross drops of pee from all the gross guys who wouldn’t sit down to pee because apparently it’s “just not manly.”

But do we all know how awesome the acoustics are in airplane bathrooms?

And I don’t mean for the echoes of whatever it is we usually do in bathrooms. We all obviously know that those are awesome.

No, I’m talking about the amazing acoustics for… singing.

Don’t feel bad if you never knew this. I didn’t know either, until, that is, I realized I was belting out Drugs or Jesus to myself while trapped inside that commode.

Okay, I wasn’t officially trapped.

I was taking a little ten minute vacation from that ridiculously small seat I was pinned inside of for three hours.

You see, I’m six foot four (I spelled it out because it just sounds taller, doesn’t it?).

Seats in coach weren’t made for guys like me, and when I sit down into them, my knees are pressed hard into the seat in front of me. I’m so tall, I have no neck rest when I lean backwards. Digging my wallet out to pay for the crappy meal that used to be free is almost impossible. And, when the person in front of me leans back, I officially become nothing more than that weird z-shaped tetris piece, crammed in next to whoever I’m sitting by, praying for the end to come.

Yes, I was on a mini-vacation from that in the airplane bathroom.

And on this last trip, I began singing.

I didn’t even realize I was doing it at first. But I did suddenly realize how amazing those acoustics were. After I finished with Tim McGraw, I moved on to Jack Johnson. And that was amazing, too. So I moved on to Neil Diamond and gave the performance of a lifetime.

Money talks. But it don’t sing and dance and it don’t walk. As long as I can have you here with me, I’d much rather be, forever in Blue Jeans babe…

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