CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS PAGEScared woman hiding her face under the sheet.

  1. On a 4th date we saw his grandma and he introduced me as his fiancee (which I most definitely was not) and said I was the mother of his future children.
  2. He brought a 4 foot iguana on our date. I wish I was joking.
  3. Recently, I met a guy and at first he seemed super awesome. We had lots in common, he was handsome to look at and he has his PHD. He is working hard towards goals, no baggage. Seemed great. All of a sudden 2 days later, I get a text at 3am begging me to be his foot slave. At first I was naive and thought that meant he wanted to massage my feet often, so I asked for clarification and what I received next may have scarred me for life. He begged me to kick him in the face and humiliate him by inviting my friends over so that we could all take turns kicking his face and rubbing our dirty feet on him. He begged to have me walk on his face with heels on. He also proceeded to tell me that he wanted to lick my dirty shoes when we first met.
  4. This wasn’t said to me but a family member. “I knew you would be a good one when I saw you walk into your house.” The scary thing is, she never told him where she lived.
  5. She was so normal, and funny, and pretty much perfect for four dates. On our fifth date, she showed me a coffin in her basement and told me she likes to lie down in it to think. Then when she sensed that it completely weirded me out, she told me to just try it and not to judge it until I do.
  6. On our first date, he had me laughing like crazy, we really hit it off. After the date, he asked me to come over to “have fun.” I told him no, not on a first date. He suddenly got all sad and said, “if you knew what happened to the last girl who said that…” and then he trailed off and got all happy again.
  7. He told my closest friend he was bring something special on the first date. She was so excited wondering what it could be. When he got there, he handed her a vial of his own blood.
  8. “I really think you should stop taking birth control now. I want to get you pregnant. You’d be so hot pregnant. I also have a breastfeeding fetish.”
  9. Things were great until we had sex the first time. The sex was great, but in the middle of the night, I woke up to the sound of him sealing a Ziplock bag around his junk. All he said was, “sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.”


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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!