22. The first time I brought my boyfriend over, my daughter walked over (she was three), looked him dead in the eyes, and said, “I think it’s a good idea to take your pants off now.”
23. When my son was three he told me that he really likes his new daddy, he’s really nice. My husband is his one and only daddy. I asked “Why is that?” He replied “My old daddy was really mean. He stabbed me in the back and I died. But I really like my new daddy, he’d never do that to me.”
24. My 4yo shook me awake one night and asked if she could sleep with me because tonight the old woman at the window was being mean for some reason.
25. An 8 year old I used to teach had a hard time with eye contact and appropriate touch. He looked me straight in the eyes one morning, not missing a beat, and told me, “you know, I think you’d look a lot better if you were dead in my basement.”
26. My 7-year-old son asked me, “So, Mom, when I’m 41 like you, how old will you be?” I replied, “I’ll be 75.” Without missing a beat, my 5-year-old daughter added, “Or dead.”
27. Last week i asked my kids what they wanted for Christmas. My son said “For Christmas i want you to live forever” then my daughter says “I’d rather have a pink ipod.”
28. My six year old was crying in her bedroom. It took lots of asking and she finally told me that a strange man had shown up and told her that I would be dead before midnight.
29. “Mom, why is that lady from the cemetery sitting in my room?”
30. A friends daughter (3 years old at the time) told my friend in a very quiet voice: ” I will put a towel over your face and send you to live with Jesus!”
31. “Aren’t you gonna say hi to Uncle Chris ?” By my 3 year old when I was watching her jumping on the trampoline….Uncle Chris drowned in the lake 9 years before she was even born, and nobody in our family talks about it, ever. I asked her where he was and she pointed to the garage and said ” He tells me to be careful ” Whoa….
32. As she pointed to the old wood stove in the middle of our front room: “Jimmy said that was where he did it.” I asked her who Jimmy was and what he was talking about, she said “Jimmy is the guy who comes and talks to me at night. He said he killed his mom right there.” My daughter was five.
And sometimes a mixture of both. Hahaha.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
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