Fashion woman portrait

Over on the SDL Facebook wall, I asked: what was the most hilariously stupid thing you’ve ever done?

These were my 24 favorite answers.

  1. I stopped at Hollister and inspected one of the sweaters on their mannequins. Only it wasn’t a mannequin. It was a guy waiting for his girlfriend to finish trying on clothes.
  2. When I was pregnant with our oldest I once waited for more than an hour for my husband to pick me up from work. I called him, madder than blazes that he hadn’t come to get me. After listening to my upset he very calmly informed me that I had the car.
  3. My mother, not wanting to lose my dad in the crowd at Disneyland, stuck her fingers down the back of my dad’s pants. She gave him several affectionate bare skin pats. Of course my dad saw what she was doing, and walked behind her laughing. She was tagging behind the wrong man all the time. I remember this polite fellow did not mind in the least!
  4. When I was a preteen, my mom and I were grocery shopping. We were walking down the frozen food aisle, and I was trying to ask my mom if I could get some of those Fat Boy ice cream sandwiches. She was doing that mom thing, where I would say something and she would just reply “Mmmhmnnmmmm…” without looking at me. So I finally shouted at her “MOM!” and she looked up and snapped, “What do you want?!” and I said, “I want a Fat Boy!” and pointed to where they were. Well…an extremely large man had walked between my pointing finger and the ice cream awesomeness….My mom literally busted out laughing, put her head down and pushed the shopping cart out of the aisle and around the corner….just leaving me there like that. It was awful.
  5. I bought a big roll of summer sausage for my dad for Christmas and picked up a tube of KY jelly for my brother (who has urological problems) at the same time and didn’t buy anything else. Should have seen the look on the male college cashiers face!
  6. I was with the hubs at walmart looking for a thing of mixed nuts. I walked up to a male employee and ask ‘where are your nuts’? yeah, the look on his face… My husband hasn’t let me live this one down.
  7. Standing in my bathroom, stomping my foot on the floor and shouting “Get out of there!” I thought the neighbors cat was under my house with her new kittens. Unfortunately it was the poor exterminator making his yearly rounds. I didn’t know he had even been here til I saw his note in my door later.
  8. My sister and my ex-wife look very similar, especially from behind. One night we were all having a get-together at our place and I thougth my wfie was sitting on the floor in front of me. Her butt crack was sticking out big time, so I stuck my finger in, wiggled it, and made a funny sound. Imagine my surprise when the shocked woman who turned around was my my wife’s sister!

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he’s most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It’s an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!