- I dyslexically told a former boss that I burnt my popcorn. It came out as “cop porn.”
- I was showing off walking backwards on the sidewalk flirting with some guy and turned around just in time to smack my face into a bus stop sign.
- I was on a date, early in a relationship and we went to a movie. He asked what I wanted at the concession stand so I spoke right up that I’d like some “Reeses Penis.” He’s now my husband.
- I was talking on my cell as I went into a store to pick up something we needed. As I got ready to leave, I told my friend, “hold on, I forgot my cell in the store somewhere” and proceeded to walk all around and look for it. I even asked the store clerk to help me look!! I couldn’t figure out why my friend was cracking up laughing! She then asked what I was talking to her on… and I proceeded to leave with a very red face…
- At my Mom’s wedding rehearsal I snuck up behind my boyfriend and gave him a love tap on the ass….only to have him turn around and discover it wasn’t my boyfriend.. it was the minister! He laughed and said it had been a long time since a young lady grabbed his ass.
- Forgetting to wash my hands (or wear gloves) after deseeding some jalapeños and immediately jumping in the shower and washed my face and Lady parts. I instantly realized the error of my ways when the fires of hell unleashed on me and I ended up rocking in the fetal position. My poor husband, was trying so hard not to laugh!
- When I was 19, I went in to the tire store with my car because there was a hole. They typically patch them up for free, but he was asking me questions. The last was “Do you rotate your tires?” My response? “Um…they rotate when I drive, don’t they?”
- After picking up my clean laundry in a hot South Texas summer, I was sitting in my convertible at a red light and reached into the laundry basket to grab something to wipe the sweat off of my face. A car full of girls next to me stared with their mouths open. It was then that I realized I was rubbing my own underwear all over my face, in what appeared to be some sexually satisfying manner. I stayed at the light and let them pull away – too embarrassed to be seen by them again.
Hahaha. Yes. Even the awesomest people do the stupidest (and funniest) things.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing