As you’ll remember, I have been trying my best not to straight-up die as I work toward my goal of finishing the Insanity workout. I was finally getting to where I didn’t hurt for days after each workout, and then month two started, and all occasional comfort was off the table.
Month two was planned out and written by the devil himself, of this I am certain.
Anyway, this isn’t about me, or about Insanity. Not really. This is about a fantastic idea I had as a dad, and how it went wrong in a serious hurry.
Noah has been watching me do Insanity. He gets a kick out of it. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the sweat flying in every direction. Maybe it’s the grunts and groans. Maybe it’s the occasional screams of pain. I just know he watches me and I constantly catch him smiling.
Two weeks ago as he watched, he suddenly chimed in (while I was vigorously wiping the sweat out of my eyes before it could permanently blind me), “Dad, everyone in the video is leaving you behind.” Ahem. Thank you, peanut gallery. Who invited you?
Well, I did.
Yep. I decided it was time for Noah to start doing the Insanity workout with me.
Of course, when I first brought it up, he groaned, and he moaned, and he huffed, and he puffed. After all, for weeks he’s been watching me collapse into a puddle of God knows what. Of course it didn’t sound fun for him. So, I decided to ease him into it.
Insanity is a compilation of insane move after insane move (thus the name). You do each one, usually for about a minute, before moving onto the next. “Do three this first time, then we’ll add one on every time you do it with me.” He was okay with that.
And, the first time he did it with me, he groaned, and he moaned, and he huffed, and he puffed, and he said it was too hard. But he got to the end. And he did the next time, and the next time too, until he was up to eight exercises. At this point, I thought I might be torturing him, or at the very least guilty of child abuse based on his dramatic reactions to it.
And this is where my genius turned worst idea ever just came bubbling out of my mouth.
“Noah, I know Insanity is really hard for you. And I know how good you’ll feel if you get really good at it. So I’ll make you a deal…”
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