dating too many people

Warning: there is some slightly inappropriate language in this post. Only a couple of words, but big words. Big. Naughty. Words. Haha.

Anyway, I hesitate to talk too much about my adventures going to see a shrink life coach. The more I do, the more absolutely messed up you’re all going to finally realize I am.

But… being absolutely messed up has done me well so far, hasn’t it? So why not talk about it once in a while. After all, just about everyone in the world is messed up, so maybe posts about my adventures in therapy will be the most normal posts of all.

For these posts, I will call my therapist Star. And I’ll call the *person* she’s talking to Dingo (it might be me, I’ll never tell).

Star: Remind me, how many people follow your blog nowadays?

Dingo: I don’t know, it’s not an exact number. Like 300,000. But some of those “people” might be dogs accidentally hitting the keyboard with their tails. They couldn’t all possibly be real.

Star: I’m going to be serious for a minute. Can we do that?

Dingo: Of course. I always am.

Star: When’s the last time you went on a vacation and didn’t share anything about it with your fans?

Dingo: I hate calling them fans. I prefer super peeps.

Star: <blank stare>

Dingo: I don’t know. Never.

Star: And when’s the last time you got serious with someone and kept that relationship all to yourself from beginning to end?

Dingo: Well, getting to relationship status with anyone is a bit of a miracle, so I kind of want everyone to know about it when it happens.

Star: <blank stare>

Dingo: I don’t know. Never.

Star: And when’s the last time you did much of anything really notable for yourself that you didn’t share with your fans?

Dingo: Super peeps.

Star: Fine, super peeps.

Dingo: I don’t know. A few weeks ago I went and bought some pants and didn’t tell anyone. But everyone still somehow found out. My brother said we can’t hang out anymore because of how much money I spent on my new jeans. But he was kidding. I think.

Star: I want you to think about something. Before you leave today, I want you to really think about it.

Dingo: What’s that?

Star: You don’t have anything just for you anymore.

Dingo: Yes I do. Tons of stuff.

Star: Not really. Every time you get serious with someone, she ends up dating you and 300,000 super peeps.

Dingo: Hm.

Star: And every vacation you take, you take with Noah and 300,000 other people.

Dingo: Hm. Well. Hm.

Star: And every time you share anything with everyone, you’re doing that thing with 300,000 other people.

Dingo: Oh, I know. I don’t share when I go to the bathroom.

Star: Don’t deflect the topic.


Previous article50 MORE Weird Confessions
Next articleWhat Does That Woman Want?
Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!