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Dingo: It’s my living. It’s my life. My life is my living. I can’t really separate the two.

Star: You don’t have to. All the time. But sometimes, you should. You need it.

Dingo: I know. But how do I do it?

Star: Next week, take Noah on a vacation somewhere. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going. Don’t post pictures while you’re gone. Don’t update your location or whatever it is you do. Don’t check your blog of Facebook while you’re gone. Just go and detach for one trip. What could it hurt.

Dingo: You obviously don’t know how famous I am. The world kind of revolves around me.

Star: I know, Dingo. I know.

Dingo: Rude. I was kidding.

Star: So can you do that?

Dingo: Well, I am already on a break from blogging. What could a few extra days hurt?

Star: Not only will it not hurt, I really think it will help. You can’t have 300,000 people tag along everywhere you go.

Dingo: Yeah, the slow ones will hold up the whole group, won’t they.

Star: Huh?

Dingo: I don’t know. Stupid joke. Left over resentment from hiking as a Boy Scout.

Star: You wanna talk about it?

Dingo: I already did. To my 300,000 online therapists. They all told me how to handle it. One even recommended a powerful prescription drug. Will you write out the script for me?

Star: <grimace>

Dingo: I’ll take your advice and go on a vacation with Noah and keep it all to myself like a greedy person. Can we talk about something else?

Star: It’s not greedy.

Dingo: I know. But it’s not easy. I have a social addiction, and just like drugs I hate the addiction, but I still shoot up my veins with it.

Star: That’s a little drastic.

Dingo: I can be five times more drastic. Wanna see?

Star: It’s your hour, and you tend to pay your bills, so do what you want with it.

Dingo: Yeah, that’d be some expensive seconds of being drastic. But it might be worth it.

Star: What else did you wanna talk about? We may want to jump into that while we have time.

Dingo: I need some dating advice.

Star: Okay.

Dingo: I don’t want to date guys anymore.

Star: You don’t think you’re bisexual?

Dingo: No, I am. I just prefer women, and I’m tired of everyone pressuring me to date guys equally. I like boobs. A lot. And guys don’t have boobs. Does that make me a sell-out or something?

Star: Remember when you told me you thought people shouldn’t be defined by labels at all?

Dingo: Yeah, I’m better at typing stuff than living it sometimes.

Star: Well, stop considering yourself bisexual. You’re sexual. And you can go out with anyone you like. What does that have to do with anyone else?

Dingo: I don’t know. I don’t want to eliminate guys. I just don’t want to actively pursue them. Unless they have boobs maybe.

Star: Some do.

Dingo: Oh, I know. And to each their own. I was kidding.

Star: Just stop worrying about it. Date who you’re attracted to and fuck the rest.

Dingo: Fuck the rest?

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!