No matter which side of the same-sex marriage fence you are on, I hope today we can have an open and honest and fair discussion about it. I seek not to persuade but to share perspective. I seek not to be understood but to spark conversation. And first, I need to give a little pre-cursor to this discussion.
These are the same statements I keep hearing over and over about the fight against same sex marriage: “we must protect the family! We must protect marriage! We must protect God’s law!”
Seems like three fairly reasonable causes.
Well, (as you probably know) just before Christmas, marriage was finally legalized for all couples here in Utah, regardless of age, sexual orientation, race, or religion.
Okay, I take that back. Age does still matter. You can’t get married until you’re 18. And I think we’re all okay with that. In fact, we should probably change the age requirement to 31 at least. Babies marrying babies… and all that.
Ever since then, and ever since I personally helped organize a friendly local protest because county clerks were literally slamming the door in same sex couples’ faces when they went to attain marriage licenses, a few things have been happening.
First, I’ve heard a lot of those three statements above repeated again and again. From friends. From family. Plastered all over Facebook. “We must protect the family! We must protect marriage! We must protect God’s law!”
Second, I’ve had a lot of my followers angrily slam the door on me any time I’ve tried to discuss things like this. “I didn’t come here for this pro-gay bull crap!” one reader so anxiously said. “This is a page that is supposed to be about parenting, not about spreading immorality!” another reader so passionately said. Many other things were said. Many people said they were leaving.
Third, I got majorly sick on the afternoon of Christmas Eve, for like two hours.
I’ll respond to the first point in a moment.
In response to the second point, I just want you to know that I have spent many nights weeping over your meanness and you leaving.
To be honest, I’m not sure how you found me or why you’re here, but I have talked about equal rights and equal love a lot on this blog. I always will. This has always been a blog that is about my life, my opinions of life, and my stories. Parenting is just something I touch on once in a while (less and less so as my son gets older and his life becomes so much more his own). Anyway, I’m a damned liberal who sometimes wants to discuss the issues that are important to me, and even if you’re a parent who loves parent blogs, there is a LOT more to life that we all can talk about. I promise.
Either get over it and get in on the amazing discussions that can take place, or go somewhere else where they back up all of your views or where far too many topics are centered around child vaccinations and baby foreskins. I never will be that for you. I will tell you to do much more weird things like love others and don’t think you’re better than others. See, I told you. Weird. Real hippie crap.
But I promise… I don’t expect everyone to agree with everything I write. On the contrary. I expect everyone to be kind and share their perspective no matter what it is.
In response to the third point, The Farmer’s Daughter brought over a big tub of Crispix Mix (yes, we’re still friends) for Noah and me two days before Christmas. I pounded just about all of it after we got home the next day. Hours later I was racing repeatedly for the bathroom.
Now, I logically could conclude that she mixed in a cup of ex-lax (see what I did there?), lover scorn and all that.
Or, I could simply conclude that I got the same two-hour stomach bug that had been sweeping through my family like, well, the plague and that she really was just doing something nice because we really are still friends.
Logic leads me to believe one thing. I choose instead to believe that my ex poisoned me because it’s more dramatic and a more exciting story to tell. Logic is often boring, after all.
Now, in response to the first point.
“We must protect the family! We must protect marriage! We must protect God’s law!”
I want to be completely fair in my response, so I really took some time to think this through. I really have wondered, why do so many people say things like that? I have tried to put myself in your shoes.
Well, I’ve thought long and hard, and these are the lists I came up with. These are ALL the ways that I personally can see how your families, your marriages, and your faith are going to be affected. And you’re right. The lists I came up with got a bit profound…
I made three lists. One for each area of life that people say they are trying to protect.
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